Monday (6/29/2015)

Update:

Had my post-surgery follow-up with my Urologist on Monday (6/29). The appointment went well and everything looks good, but the “no driving, no lifting over 10 pounds, no exercise” limitations will stay in effect until July 20^th when my stent is removed.  It has been more difficult emotionally being housebound and not feeling up to getting out.  The drive back and forth to Doctor’s appointments (30 miles round trip) is still uncomfortable.  So I am certainly not ready for prime time yet.

Sometime since my surgery the cataract on my right eye has gotten worse.  Frankly, I just started feeling well enough to notice it.  Ever get your glasses super greasy while frying food? That’s what my vision in my right eye is like right now.  With my diabetic retinopathy and macular degeneration, doctors don’t want to do surgery yet.  My eyes are slowly responding to treatment for those issues.  Surgery right now increases the chances of permanent vision loss in that eye.  So any possible repair work to correct the cataract is on hold for now.  I’ve just got to put up with it and rely upon my left eye for now.

I still have two more appointments this week.

On the bright side, I felt well enough after my doctor appointments that Karen and I had lunch out today.  It is the first thing I’ve felt well enough to do in over a month.   It was nice to be out and around people who weren’t in medical scrubs for a change. Haha.

I think we got my medications straightened out.  Lyrica and Gabapentin are both on my “Do Not Take” list now.  Although I am not sleeping well at night, I am clear-headed and feeling much more like myself during the day time.  That feels good!

For a little mental therapy each day, I’ve been spending time sitting outside on the deck and listening to the birds and feeling the breeze on my skin. Unfortunately, my lower back and sciatic nerve pain don’t let me sit out there too much, but I keep the windows open so I can at least listen to the birds.

Thought for the Day:

If you’ve been following my story you know that over the last eight months, much of my strength and vitality has been stripped away.  One thing after another has gone wrong and I now have so many doctors that I find it hard to keep all their names straight.  My loss of freedom has been the biggest struggle for me.  I wish I could say that it has been easy for me to accept loss after loss.  For every step forward that I take, I get pushed back at least two steps.  So I am losing ground and it is hard to stay positive without seeing any progress. 

AND YET I do not despair.  I look to the bible for inspiration and I read about person after person who went through a “desert” time of hardship and affliction.  Two examples will suffice: Job and Joseph.  Job had wealth, a great reputation, and a large family.  All of that was taken away from him, in addition to his health.  It sounds heartbreaking and overwhelming to consider.  Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers, falsely accused when doing the right thing and then forgotten in prison.  These men and the multitude of others listed underwent horrific suffering and still maintained their faith.  I am not suggesting that I have undergone anything that even compares; but I have a clearer understanding of hardship and loss.  I know that despite all that I have faced that my God is greater; that He loves me and supports me; and that He will use this for my good and for His glory.  What more can I ask for?

I continue to read sound theological and/inspirational materials to help keep my thinking straight and to stimulate my faith.  Recently I read something that spoke to what I’ve been feeling.

“God cares most—not about making us comfortable—but about teaching us to hate our sins, grow up spiritually, and love Him.  To do this, He gives us salvation’s benefit only gradually, sometimes painfully gradually.  In other words, He lets us continue to feel much of sin’s sting while we’re headed to heaven…where at last, every sorrow we taste will one day prove to be the best possible thing that could have happened.” [Randy Alcorn, If God is Good: Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil]

That kind of attitude takes faith because, you just cannot see what you are going through as beneficial and the best for you without it.  It takes a belief that despite whatever you are suffering that God loves you and is allowing this to happen.  These desert times are never comfortable and they last far longer than we can imagine that we can endure.

So whatever you are facing.  Whether it is an injustice, a medical issue, or a relationship meltdown, etc., the answer to finding peace in spite of these things is faith in God.  Don’t look at your circumstances and conclude that God no longer loves you and He does not care.  Look at your circumstance and believe that contrary to what you see, God is at work in your life.  God bless you all!

Friday (6/26/205)

Hurd Update:  I’ve had a rough go over the last nine days.  I was able to send out some Face Book updates but was unable to get connected with the computer to send it to me email list.  Here are the FB updates that I sent out.  I appreciate your continued prayers.  Today on Friday (6/26) I am feeling better and still at home.  I don’t feel well and I have a long way yet to go, but for now, this is progress. 

Saturday (6/20/2015): Spent Friday evening in the emergency room, they finally admitted me to the hospital after lab work, ultrasound and CT scan. Haven't felt well since my surgery last Friday, but kept getting worse. Among other things, I was dehydrated and they found that my liver enzymes are too high. They'll do more tests on Saturday to figure out what's going on. This week I have a room with a view of Half Moon Lake instead of the parking lot last I had last week. Still in enough pain that I can only get cat naps. Once again, I'm happy to be in good hands.

Monday (6/22/2015): It's Monday morning and I'm still in the hospital. This morning's blood work should determine whether I'm staying longer or getting released. My liver has been stressed. Doctors aren't certain what is causing it. Two current theories are it is a reaction to the anesthesia from last week's surgery OR the antibiotic I was on after surgery. I've never had a reaction to those things before, but this is what they are guessing. The good news is that I'm collecting a nifty set of those hospital drinking cups--they work really great at home on my nightstand. Soon I'll be set for life! Ha-ha. Anyway, I certainly don't want to be kicked out before they get a handle on this because I don't want to be readmitted in a few days. And the real good news is they had time to monkey with my pain meds and made good progress.

Tuesday (6/23/2015): Currently still in the hospital (since last Friday). my liver is functioning but showing signs of distress. The numbers have been stuck for the last few days (high--outside of normal), but since they haven't continued to climb, the doctors think they should be able to be discharged me and they can treat me with clinic visits. I tire easily but overall feel okay. The catheter was pulled early this morning. So far I have not had the insanely intense pain when urinate. That certainly feels better! For all my nursing friends: Yes I have. And Yes I did, but it's not normal yet. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Just had s visit with the Hospitalist and I should be discharged about noon.

Wednesday (6/24/2015): At home! I was discharged yesterday (Tuesday) and got home about 2 p.m. I took a four hour nap. Then went back to bed at 8:30 p.m. and slept 10 hours. Already taken a short nap this morning. I think I've become a cat! Except I'm not licking myself and hacking up hairballs. Glad to be home and hope not to return as an in-patient for awhile. Although I have added a number of appointments with new doctors for follow up treatment. Joyous! Glad to be alive and kicking. I was told that my liver wasn't damaged, just shocked. It could take several months for it to recover completely. Their explanation reminded me of getting the wind knocked out of me and lying on the ground wondering if I'd every breath again. I feel sorry for my poor old liver. Haha

Thursday (6/25/2015):  Just spent the afternoon at the ER. Thankfully they discharged me and sent me home. I've got a urinary tract infection (again??/still??). And had a reaction to one of the drugs they put me on this weekend. So I'm off gabapentin and on two antibiotics. I was out of the hospital for almost 48 hours before going back. This is getting old!!! If the ER cots were comfy it wouldn't be so bad but they are killers on my back. Happy to be feeling better and wanting to stay home!!!

Thursday (6/18/2015)

Update:

Last Friday, I had a five hour surgery to repair my kidney-ureter junction.  The doctor said that my surgery went well.  I was told that normally people have one blood vessel that runs past that junction.  That one blood vessel can cause problems like mine if it kinks or blocks the ureter.  Normal people have one blood vessel.  The doctor told me that I had a total of three!  Obviously that makes me special and unique!  The doctor was able to untangle my kidney from the mess without cutting the ureter.  It sounded like trying to untangle fishing line that has gotten all balled up.  In the end everything turned out well although I spent five hours under anesthesia and an additional three hours in recovery.  I was discharged from the hospital on Sunday afternoon.  I have five ½ to ¾ inch holes in my abdomen along with one additional smaller hole from the drain tube.  I told my doctor that the incisions reminded me of bullet holes.  So I guess I got in a gun fight somehow while I was sleeping!  I deeply appreciate the nursing care that I received at the hospital: Abbie, Emily, Kelley and Brystal were awesome!

Since my surgery, every time I urinate, I get an extremely intense stabbing pain in my back (right kidney).  As the days go by it is slowly reducing in intensity.  It still takes my breath away and I cannot help but cry out in pain.  My doctor said that if I urinate every hour that would help reduce the pain until I heal.  So as you can imagine, I am frequently in the bathroom.  It helps some, but at night I only go every two hours, so that really hurts!  I’m praying that the pain will quickly disappear.

I’ve also developed another urinary tract infection (or maybe I never got rid of the first one completely).  The medication seems to be making a difference.  For the first few days, I had uncontrollable shakes and hot/cold flashes.  Glad that has subsided. 

I’ve got my first check up with the Urologist on June 29^th and on July 20^th he is supposed to remove the temporary stent assuming that I have healed enough from the surgery.

I’ve been trying to get a wheelchair from my insurance company since January.  The chair I’ve been using has been borrowed and I need to return it.  I think that the insurance company may have finally explained why they have been blocking my chair.  I have ANOTHER wheelchair evaluation scheduled from a company they approve next Wednesday.  Typically it is still a two month wait for the chair after it’s ordered, so it will have been at least an eight month wait going back and forth, and back and forth with the insurance company.  I feel kind of sorry for the insurance company because they have paid out WAY MORE than I have paid in over the last couple of years. But, c’mon, do you have to make it so difficult over what is comparably some “nickel and dime” item?

Next Monday (6/22), I’ve got an eye treatment scheduled.  That will be my first time out of the house since the surgery.  I hope that I am up for it.  Right now I am restricted from driving and lifting anything over ten pounds.  What a joke!  I couldn’t do those things even if I had the energy and desire to try.

On July 6^th I had an appointment with my surgeon to discuss options for the surgery that I need on my residual limb to remove the hypersensitive neuroma that has caused me to stop wearing my prosthesis.  Even the slightest touch sends waves of pain through my leg.  I am considering having an alternative form of surgery done that seems like it would improve the odds of me not having another neuroma develop and enjoy a greater use of my leg.  I need wisdom on this.  On one hand, the standard surgery would be relatively simple and the recovery time would be shorter, but the likelihood of reoccurrence is higher.  On the other hand, the alternative surgery is more complex, has a longer recovery time, but appears to have a greater likelihood of giving me a more permanent solution.  There are no guarantees either way.   Whatever surgery route that I pick won’t happen until July or August at the earliest depending upon the surgeon’s schedule and when I have recovered well enough to endure another potentially long surgery.

I appreciate your continued prayers for my well-being and recovery.

My daughter, Ruth, is coming home for the weekend, so all the kids should be here for lunch on Father’s Day.  I think that Ruth is cooking a special meal which works out well since I am not feeling well enough to go out to lunch.  I’m looking forward to that; nothing that I want more for Father’s Day than having all my children gathered here together with me.

Thursday (6/11/2015)

Update:

I head to the hospital early tomorrow morning (Friday) for my 7:30 a.m. surgery on my right kidney.  I’m scheduled for robotic-assisted, laparoscopic pyeloplasty (I think it sounds much cooler than it will feel when I wake up following surgery!).  Praying that everything goes well and the problem is repaired without complications.  I don’t look forward to the extended recovery time (5-6 weeks) but it comes with the territory.

My pain levels have reduced since having the facet injection on my spine on June 1^st.   My lower back pain has been reduced by 90%.  Whew!  That feels much better.  My wife says that I am the most chipper and relaxed that she has seen me in months.  The sciatic nerve pain that runs down my left buttocks was only slightly reduced by the injection.  It still hurts to sit more than 15-30 minutes.  The neuroma (hypersensitive nerve bundle) at the end of my residual limb is better only because I’ve stopped wearing my prosthesis.  The moment I try putting any weight on it (or even touch it lightly) all the pain comes raging back.  I’ve started going to physical therapy to see if that can help reduce some of the pain (so far it has been like a combination of massage, deep pressure, and chiropractic-like care along with specific stretching exercises).  I’ve drastically reduced the use of strong pain meds which makes me happy.

I’ve been going outside for an hour or so each day just to sit in the sun and feel the breeze on my face.  Stuck in the wheelchair and not able to go to town, being outside has been a great way to relax a bit.  On Wednesday afternoon, I went out my front door onto my ramp and there were two large cats having a hissy fit.  I have a new neighbor across the street with two cats and another newer neighbor next door who has three cats.  Apparently they were having a turf war on my ramp.  One cat tried to leave when it saw me by sneaking past me.  The other cat seized the opportunity to attack coming right at me in the process. I thought I was going to get mauled!  I yelled as loud as I could and chased the cat down the ramp at full speed (gravity worked in my favor).  The cat retreated across the street.  I guess that I proved that I was the biggest tom in the neighborhood (at least temporarily). 

It’s been a crazy week here in Fall Creek.  Monday there was a high speed chase of a man who had abducted a woman in SE Wisconsin.  She escaped when he stopped to get gas 10 miles away.  He ended up crashing his car and escaping into the woods with a rifle about five miles north of town.  Police surrounded the area and finally found him on Tuesday afternoon.    Then on Wednesday, a van refused to stop for our police.  The guy ended up running on foot just south of the school.  I live one block north of the school.  All day there was a plane flying around as police on foot and ATVs narrowed the search for him.  Police finally arrested him on Wednesday evening.  Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.  This kind of stuff never happens in our small town!  Until now!  I am thankful for the response of the many law enforcement officers called in for both of these events.  Outstanding job!

Thought for the Day:

How many times when things are going wrong in our lives have we wondered, “Why is God doing this to me?  Why is He allowing this to happen?” 

The bible has numerous examples of God testing people.  People find themselves in difficult, sometimes painful, situations and God watches to see how they will respond.

“You might ask, ‘Why does God need to test us?  Doesn’t He know everything, including what we would do in every situation?’  Yes, God knows—but we don’t know ourselves!  God doesn’t test us in order to find out something He doesn’t already know.  He tests us so that we can learn something about ourselves and His love, power and faithfulness.”  [Os Hillman, ‘Today God Is First’ on-line devotional, 6/11/2015]

Now that is an important concept!  God tests us so that we can find out about ourselves and about God.  When I considered this idea is this, according to God’s standard I realize that I am a failure.  I am flawed.  No matter how good I look to others around me, I know that I cannot keep promises.  I am self-willed, selfish, and disobedient.  My motivation is often defective.  My attitude is improper.  I harbor bitterness or anger against people or situations.  The bottom line is that I am a mess.  I may sometimes get a passing grade, but on way too many occasions I have fallen short.  I am not proud of my behavior.  I put on a good show and appear pretty pious so that I can even fool myself sometimes.  But this is what I learn about myself when I am painfully honest.

Maybe more importantly, here’s what I learn about God.  His love is unconditional.  He doesn’t love me because I am so awesome and do everything correctly.  I’m a failure and He knows it.  He isn’t surprised when I blow it big time.  He doesn’t give up on me or disown me.  He didn’t accept me based upon my goodness and He doesn’t reject me when I fail.  He loves me.  He accepts me.  He provides for me.  His love is something that I could never earn or ever hope to keep if it was based upon my test scores.  He loves me despite who I am and so I can rest confidently in His love.  Wow!  That is a great feeling!

In no way does this give me license to purposely fail God’s tests.  My goal and desire is to pass each one.  But when I fail (and I know that I will) I can rest confidently that God’s love still surrounds me, it comforts me, and gives me peace.

I hope you take a moment to honestly evaluate your test scores and ponder their significance.  What have you learned about yourself?  What have you learned about God?

Tuesday (6/2/2015)

Update:

It has been a rough couple of months for me with back and nerve pain.  The pain has gotten so bad that for the last four days, I’ve basically spent all day in bed (except for meals and medical appointments).  That helped reduce my pain levels but I still needed heavy-duty pain medicine from time to time.  Monday afternoon I received a facet steroid injection in the spinal joints (lower back). 

See video explanation of the procedure:  http://www.spine-health.com/video/facet-joint-injections-procedure-video

When the doctor injected the steroid into my right side, blazing, fiery pain shot down through the sciatic nerve all the way down through my neuroma on my residual limb.  WOW! That hurt!  The intense pain didn’t last too; but for about six hours after the procedure, I felt worse than before.  The good news is that the pain indicated they found the right location for the source of my back and nerve pain. Now eight hours later my back feels better than it has in months.  It still hurts if I sit too long, but this has given me some hope.  The steroid may take up to a week to become fully effective, so time will tell what the result is. 

For some people the pain relief is very temporary.  For others it lasts several months and for a few the pain may not come back.  Of course, there are also some folks that don’t get any relief at all.  The next few days will show me what I can expect.  Follow-on treatments can be done to extend the benefit.

On Friday, June 12^th I will have my kidney/ureter repair surgery.  My right kidney isn’t draining properly, so this surgery will repair my plumbing so I can “go with the flow.” J  I’ll be in the hospital for a few days and then was told it was a 4-6 week recovery period afterwards.  I’m just starting to feel good again after the procedure to put a temporary stint in that I had done on May 14.  That procedure helped relieve a lot of my kidney pain.  The surgery on June 12 will repair/replace the junction between my kidney and the ureter.  Think of the kidney like a bath tub holding water and the ureter is the drain pipes.  My drain pipes were installed incorrectly, so the surgeon is going to re-plumb the pipes! 

I probably will also have to have surgery on my residual limb.  I have a painful neuroma (nerve bundle) that is hypersensitive.  I can no longer wear my prosthesis because of that pain, so I am wheelchair bound until that is repaired.  Nothing will be done on my leg until my kidney is healed.  With the time it will take my leg to heal after that surgery, I’m guessing that I will probably be in a wheelchair until at least September. 

I cannot wait until I feel well enough to be active again, walking and resume my favorite activities.  Once again, patience is called for.  I’m just trying to find happiness in each day I’ve been given and not allow “destination disease” to sour my outlook.  I’m looking forward to good health again, but that doesn’t mean that I cannot find something to be thankful for right now.  Each day has something for me to be joyful about if I look hard enough for it.  I also know that there is a possibility that I may never feel good and walk again; my wheelchair and pain medications might become a permanent part of my life.  I hope not; but I’m not going to worry about that day until it happens.  Even then it doesn’t mean that I can’t be joyful and squeeze every drop of sunshine that I can out of the days I have.  My attitude is my choice and I’ve decided to keep a positive one no matter where life takes me.  My physical health might give me pain; but there is no reason to allow my attitude to make me miserable on top of that!