Thursday (7/31/2014)

Update:

I was really tired on Wednesday morning and was glad that I could get a little more sleep and then take care of things at home because I didn’t have any morning appointments.  I decided to get my clothes ironed for the week and then did my floor exercises.  I had just increased the weight I was lifting so it was more of a challenge—but it felt good.  After I showered I headed to church for the rest of the day. 

Wednesday afternoon our church held one of our more popular fundraisers—the Burger Blast.  We had a great turnout and the food was yummy!  My thanks to Deb, Michelle, Randy and everyone who helped pull this off; I know that they all worked hard.  Great job!  Kent & Andy did a great job grilling the burgers—once again, it was strange for me not to do the grilling after doing it for so many years (I think for over 15 years—usually twice each year).  Being wheelchair-bound I really couldn’t help anywhere else because I didn’t fit (tables too close together, etc.).  I don’t like merely being a spectator—I like to be involved!

Mentally I am almost at peace with the fact that I am wheelchair bound for the next week or so.  I keep bumping up against things that I won’t be able to do because I’m not currently walking.  My!  How easy it is to take that ability for granted and how hard it is to lose it!

Thought for the Day: 

I follow a couple of amputee groups on-line and it struck me how wonderful I have had it with the support of a full medical team.  With the questions and comments made by some in the group it is obvious they don’t have the prosthetist, physiatrist, and physical therapy team that I have—instead they are groping along blindly trying to gather information and make their prosthesis work all on their own.   I am so very grateful because there is so much to learn and so many pieces have to fit perfectly together, it would be overwhelming to try to figure it all out by myself.

The other thing that I gain from following the group on-line is encouragement.  I am wowed by what I see others are accomplishing; I am challenged to constantly stretch beyond my current limits and keep attempting more.  And I gain a sense of thankfulness as I understand how good I have it.  I’ve got the support of a loving wife and family, my church (as family and my job), and many, many friends.  Comparatively my physical condition and limitations really aren’t that severe.   I truly am blessed!  I admit that on some days I need constant reminders of that fact because my attitude slips; but thankfully those times are few and far between.

When I was in Boy Scouts, we used a lot of rope.  To save money and to gain a skill, we made our own rope from twine.  We built a simple tool to allow us to take three separate pieces of twine and form the rope.  It is amazing how quickly the strength of the twine alone multiples as additional strands are added.  A single strand of twine has good holding power but it is prone to pull apart; but combining it with other twine seems to change its nature.  Its load bearing capacity drastically increases; it becomes more useful and more durable.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12    “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!  Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

We are stronger and more resilient when we join forces with others.  Find a partner.  Form a team.  Build a community.  Whatever you face will be accomplished more easily if you aren’t alone.

Wednesday (7/30/2014)

Update:

I spent most of the day on Tuesday at my office and all of it in my wheelchair.  I have to wait until the abrasion on my leg completely heals before I can wear my prosthesis again.  I tend to heal slowly but I’m praying that this happens quickly.  I think it will be at least a week before I am two-legged again!  Patience and contentment are my new companions that I am seeking to get better acquainted with.

I have become so used to standing on my own two feet and the freedom that it gives, I had forgotten how mobility limited I was in a wheelchair.  Since I can still stand on one leg, if I get positioned correctly I can reach most things that I want.   But I cannot go up and down stairs to do my laundry, or carry a table out of the room that is in my way, etc.  Everything definitely takes longer for me to do. And the tendon in my hip aches after an hour or two in the chair.  To find relief I have to lay face down on the floor for 5-10 minutes.  That is really sort of weird to do during the day at the office.

Tuesday evening I had fun.  The Altoona Police and Fire Departments had a joint training exercise.  Although I was wheelchair bound I attended as both departments’ chaplain.  I enjoyed spending four hours with some of my favorite people.  As we were leaving the exercise site, I was going around the back of my truck to load my wheelchair.  I was about a foot away from the squad car parked behind me.  I didn’t notice that the officer had already gotten in.  He hit the siren and startled me.  We both laughed about how high I jumped even while sitting in my wheelchair.  Later at the Police Department, I told him if I thought about it I should have fallen out of my chair and played dead when he blasted me.  He told me that he would have really felt bad if I had done that.  Don’t worry pay back is coming…

When I got home it was sprinkling.  I had driven through rain on the way home so I knew that I couldn’t wait out the rain, I needed to go ahead inside.  It takes a while to get out and get inside with my wheelchair so I knew I would be getting wet—but what can I do?  I had forgotten to leave any lights on at home so it was really dark on our street as I rolled down the driveway to the sidewalk.  Just about the time I got to my ramp, my neighbor across the street turned on his outside light.  Right after I got my key in the lock and made it inside, his light went out.  He must have seen me and turned his light on until I got inside.  That little act of kindness was very encouraging to me!  Thank you!

Thought for the Day: 

“In ‘Life’s Greatest Lessons,’ Hal Urban writes, ‘Once we accept the fact that list is hard, we begin to grow.  We begin to understand that every problem is also an opportunity.  It is then we dig down and discover what we’re made of.  We begin to accept the challenges of life.  Instead of letting hardships defeat us, we welcome them as a test of character.  We use them as a means of rising to the occasion.  …most people don’t accept like as hard and will continue to look for the quick and easy way instead.’   There is no quick and easy way.  Nothing worth having in life comes without effort…  If we don’t understand and accept the truth that life is difficult, then we set ourselves up for failure and we won’t learn.”  [John Maxwell, Sometimes You Win and Sometimes You Learn].

I am so glad that in my life, I have encountered a mixture of easy and hard.  I’ve encountered many blessings as well as faced a few defeats.  It is that balance, the give and take of life that makes it worth living and enjoyable.  Some days we have to work hard to achieve what little we get—that helps us appreciate what we have even more.  Other days things go so smoothly and we quickly realize that we’ve received a gift from God—a little evidence of His mercy and grace towards us.

Depending upon your life and what’s currently happening, it may be easy to see all the blessings or they may be buried under so much rubble of disaster that you have to work to uncover them.  Take the time to discover them.  Some may be large and many times they may just be the tiniest little nuggets of blessing that are hard to see unless you look closely for them.  But in every life, no matter how difficult, I believe that we’ll seem a mixture of difficult/easy and happy/sad.  If you tend to be a negative person it might take more work on your part to see through your difficulties to find those nuggets of blessings.

So don’t be surprised when life turns sour and things are difficult; but also don’t lose perspective and abandon hope.  Find that balance in life that accepts how hard life can be at times and still enjoy life and whatever blessings you have to their fullest.  Remember that our difficulties do not mean that God has abandoned us—hang onto hope!

2 Corinthians 4:7-9    “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

Monday & Tuesday (7-28 & 29-2014)

Update:

While doing some demolition work at the church work day on Saturday morning, I got bonked on the head with a long 2x4 as it fell. I was sent home with a suspected slight concussion. By Saturday night I was feeling okay--still had a good headache going on and my head was sore where the board hit me. I am pleased to announce that the board that hit me was damaged more than my head and was thrown away as trash--just proof that I have a hard head.  Seriously, I was grateful because the board had a lot of 16p nails sticking out of it, my head managed to find a spot on the board without any nails. The damage to me could have been much worse.  Now on Monday night, my head is still tender but the headache is gone.

I was supposed to attend a friend’s wedding on Saturday afternoon.  I was very disappointed not to be able to attend.  I really wasn’t up to driving or partying so I just had a quiet evening at home.  On Sunday I made it through church with the help of some ibuprofen and didn’t do much the rest of the day.  I was itching to go for a bike ride but didn’t feel up to it; excessive movement made my headache worse.

Monday really went to pieces on me.  I noticed that our refrigerator was not working.  It is completely dead—two of my sons came over and brought our old refrigerator up from the basement.  Since all the kids moved out we no longer needed a second fridge and we had talked about trashing our old one.  It’s over 20 years old and has a lot of wear and tear—but it runs.  The newer one that replaced it is five years old and something probably blew on the computer board.  So glad we hadn’t gotten rid of the old one yet.  Trying to diagnose the problem and getting it moved upstairs took the morning.  Then I had to go to the Register of Deeds at the Courthouse to take care of an issue (I was thankful that was easily resolved). 

I did the grocery shopping for the week and got home in the early afternoon.  Unloading groceries with a prosthesis is much slower than before the surgery.  If the items are light, I can take two bags but normally I make a separate trip for each bag.  And I thought unloading groceries took a long time before; now I know better.  I saw a bilateral below the knee amputee while shopping at Sam’s.  Bilateral means both legs were amputated.  I was going to go say hello but he got out the door before I could nab him.  Like me, he used a motorized cart while shopping and then walked out of the store.  He walked very well without a cane.  My day is coming! 

After the groceries I was finally free to go on a 9 mile bike ride.  How is it that the wind can blow in your face no matter which direction you are headed?  On the positive side—no gnats!  I got a good workout riding back home with a stiff wind in my face and I made it up both of the hills I decided to ride over.  With the wind against me that was quite a feat.  Dogs were especially “friendly” today.  I came very close to being bit twice. Both times I was headed uphill and already in first gear and had nothing extra to boost my speed.  One dog circled me a half dozen times.  The owner finally called him off.  I used my foot to gently push the other dog’s face away from my leg.  I am surprised he let me do that without biting me.  I was pretty calm both times surprisingly.  There was really nothing I could do to stop the attack, so I was pretty relaxed—maybe since I wasn’t speeding away or showing fear, the dogs figured that I didn’t taste good enough to bite?

After my bike ride I mowed my lawn and trimmed a couple of bushes that had gone native.  This is the second time I’ve mowed my own lawn.  It takes a lot of energy for me to push mow and with frequent rest breaks it takes 3-4 times longer to get the entire yard cut.  Here is a short video of me mowing the lawn 

After dinner I changed my hand bells to a higher weight.  I do a lot of weight training with hand bells and it was time to increase the weight I am lifting.  Having to use the handrail on the stairs meant that I could only carry one down and one back up at a time.  All my weights are downstairs except the ones I am currently using.  I don’t usually go up and down the flights of stairs at home more than once every few days.  It takes a lot of extra energy to go up the stairs and quite a bit of mental energy to go down; so I limit what I do.  I ended up getting lots of good exercise on the stairs as I traded my sets of 10 & 12 lbs. for the 15 & 20 lbs. sets.

 

When I took my prosthesis off before bed on Monday, I found that I had developed a sore on the back of my residual limb.  It feels like a bad rug burn.  My liner must have pinched and rubbed me raw.  That means that I won’t be wearing my leg for the next few days because the wound has to heal.  Wound care is extremely important for an amputee and an open sore halts use of the leg. I have sent an email into my doctor to verify what needs to be done.

Thought for the Day:

When I discovered that I had the raw spot on my leg on Monday night, it was a challenge to my emotional wellbeing.  I knew right away that it meant not wearing my prosthesis and riding the wheelchair 24/7 until it heals.  My first thought was, “Not this week!”  I have an event scheduled every day for the next three days that I was planning to attend/participate in.  That’s all changed now.

Emotionally that revelation sought to bring me down.  It’s relatively easy to be happy and content when things are going right; it is much more difficult to keep that kind of attitude when things go wrong.  It is amazing how emotionally fragile most of us really are.  We can go from “Cloud Nine” to the “depths of despair” in a matter of moments.  Based upon what?  Our circumstances.

Allowing our circumstances to be in control of our emotional well-being is a recipe for disaster.  Each one of us faces a mixture of good and bad situations.  Sometimes it seems like the bad ones had been backed up and suddenly broke free to dump on our day.  Wham! Wham! Wham! (That’s a Triple Whammy, if you are counting).

If I let circumstances determine my happiness, then I no longer am in control of my life.  I don’t like that because there will be too many days of misery, so I am going to choose my own attitude, thank you very much!  I choose to be content.  I may not feel like grinning ear-to-ear but I choose to be at peace about my life. 

I have to admit that I am not perfect at this.  I got frustrated and a little hostile about the refrigerator not cooperating and going back together easily after we took it apart to get it through the doors.  But this is my goal and this is what I strive towards—peaceful acceptance of what is and what cannot be changed.  Don’t misunderstand—I am all for changes that improve my life and I will strive mightily to make them happen if it is possible; but when things go wrong as they often will, I choose not to emotionally follow them down the path towards that dark hole.

I hope you have a great day in store for you today; but if you don’t, I hope that you choose not to let your attitude crash and burn.  

Saturday (7/26/2014)

Update:

Still no internet at the church; that makes getting work done so difficult.  My administrative assistant and I talked about the changes over the last few years in how we do business; the internet has become essential.  Hopefully my tech guy will get it up and running today so we can get back to business as normal.  How has your life/work changed in the last ten years due to technology?

I got the things required to be done on Friday morning and then rushed home to get changed for the wedding.  The ceremony went well—it had its funny moments and I think it was beautiful as well.  I’m so happy for Travis and Brittany.  You know that you’ve attended a wedding reception in Wisconsin when you have a live Polka Band play for over an hour!  I know that I am not quite ready to get up and dance on my prosthesis yet.  Cue old standard joke: “Doctor, will I be able to DANCE after my operation.”  Doc replies, “Of course!”  “Good because I’ve always wanted to dance but never could before…”  I still have the desire but…  I did keep time by beating my cane on the floor!  I kept waiting for them to play the Chicken Dance—I figured that I could dance that one.  Or how about the Hokey-Pokey!  “You take your left leg OFF and you shake it all about…”

During the reception someone rolled a heavy wheelchair over my foot (on my prosthesis).  The lady was so apologetic when she realized what she had done.  She just couldn’t believe that I said it was “fine, no problem.”  Maybe she thought I was drunk and didn’t feel it.  Oh, if you only knew lady! LOL.

On Saturday morning there is a construction workday at the church starting at 8 a.m. and runs all day.  I have another wedding to attend this afternoon and evening.  Whew!  This has been a busy week and I haven’t had time to exercise or ride my bicycle very often times.  I told my wife that I am really looking forward to having the time to get back to my exercises & the bike this next week.  I miss it.

Thought for the Day:

“If you wake up in the morning with gratitude on your mind, it’s pretty difficult, in fact almost impossible, to feel anything but peace…  I learned a long time ago that it’s easy to allow my mind to slip into various forms of negativity.  When I do, the first thing that leaves me is my sense of gratitude.  I begin to take people in my life for granted, and the love that I often feel is replaced with resentment and frustration. What this exercise reminds me to do is to focus on the good in my life.”  [Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff].

So who are you grateful for?  Who has done something for you?  It might be your spouse who made breakfast for you this morning.  It could be that stranger who let you into the traffic lane you needed during your morning commute.  Family members? Friends? Neighbors? Strangers? God?

Don’t let yourself get stuck in negative thinking.  Open up your heart and mind to give thanks.  Each one of us has lots to be thankful for if we only take a moment to think about it.  Even with a life filled with problems and difficulties, there are plenty of topics of thanks.  Rather than making a list of everything you can find wrong, why don’t you work at making a list of everything that is right?  One act of thanks can lead to another and another, until pretty soon your heart is filled with gratitude.  So let the sunshine in!

Friday (7/25/2014)

Update:

I spent all day Thursday at the office.  It was a very busy day with lots of people in and out.  I was especially happy to see the phone company show up to fix our telephone line.  On Friday I have to get into work early enough to make certain that the internet is back up and working.  Then I need to upload some software I purchased.  Our trial just expired this morning.  I purchased the software five days ago but our internet problems have precluded me from getting it loaded.  I hope it won’t be too much of a hassle.  After that I hope to get my sermon far enough along that I can get the insert to my secretary before I have to leave today.

The wedding rehearsal went well last night.  Wedding today (Friday) at 2 p.m.  Should be a lovely service.  Last night at the rehearsal was the longest that I’ve stood without a cane (about 1 ½ hours).  I was glad when I got a chance to sit down and give my muscles a rest.  It is kind of funny what things have become a big deal.  I used to stand for hours without a thought about it; now I am constantly thinking about when I can sit down.  However, I notice that every month that goes by my ability changes.  I assume that eventually I’ll become strong enough that I won’t even think about it.

Last night someone asked me how long it took to learn to walk without a conscious thought.  I still haven’t mastered that on grass or uneven terrain; but except for things like stairs, I really don’t even think about walking on even, flat surfaces.  I’m not even certain when that change occurred.  Somewhere along the line, I just overcame the need to constantly think about walking.  It’s become second nature to me (well, since I learned it before—perhaps it really should be “third nature” instead.  LOL).  I still consciously think through going down stairs and over some obstacles—I am worried about taking a misstep and taking a tumble.  I don’t want to break something which would set me back while it heals. 

Thought for the Day:

In the Old Testament book of Jonah, God commanded the prophet Jonah to go to the city of Nineveh in the Assyrian Empire and preach a message of repentance to them.  Jonah didn’t want to do that.  The Assyrians were the enemies of Israel.  They were known as cruel and ruthless conquerors.  At the time of Jonah, the Assyrian Empire was in a weakened state.  Jonah wanted them destroyed and wiped out, not forgiven and restored; so instead of heading east towards Nineveh like he was told, he headed west and jumped a ship to take him far away.  God had a different plan between a huge storm at sea and superstitious sailors, Jonah ended up in the belly of a whale for three days. 

I am certain it wasn’t a pleasant experience but it gave Jonah plenty of time to think and eventually decide that he would obey God given the chance.  And God gave his disobedient prophet a second chance.

Jonah preached to the people of the city and they responded to the message of repentance.  This is the only recorded occurrence of God sending one of His prophets to preach to a group of heathens who worshiped false gods. 

What we should learn from this passage is that God is the God of second chances.  His own prophet had disobeyed Him—yet God gave him a second chance.  The Assyrian Empire didn’t even worship God—yet God gave them a chance for redemption as well.  That is about as far as “A is to Z” on a spiritual continuum; and God gave them both another chance.  If God gives that kind of “Is that your final answer?” opportunity to them; then it stands to reason that He will give the same opportunity to us.  No matter how many times we have rejected Him or turned our backs upon His commandments; He will respond to us when we finally repent and turn towards Him.

That should be a comfort to every one of us.  There is nothing that we have done that would be too great for God to forgive.  That is such good news!  When I have been pig-headed and stubborn and chosen to do what I desire rather than obey God—there is still a way back.  I am thankful that scripture says that God is patient and forbearing with us and we turned into crispy critters the very first instance of disobedience. 

So our goal should be to not force God to place us in horrible position before we wake up to our need to turn back to Him. Fish are slimy enough on the outside; I don’t want to know how slimy they are from the inside. 

“God understands our disobedient heart. He sees what we really are; yet He gives second chances. God gave Jonah a second chance. He gave the people of Nineveh a second chance. It is a lesson of love from a heavenly Father who specializes in second chances. Have you blown it? Have you disappointed someone close to you? God is the God of second chances. All we have to do is acknowledge our waywardness. He will restore. He will give grace. Ask Him.”  [Os Hillman, Today God is First (TGIF), daily on-line devotional: 7-23-2014].

Thursday (7/24/2014)

Update:

After a good night’s sleep I woke up on Wednesday ready to get lots accomplished.  Before I left for work I did my ironing so I am set for the week.  I had no problems getting my prosthesis on this morning.  My leg slipped right in like it was supposed to.  No frustration.  No difficulties.  Very appreciative.  It is amazing how a little thing like that can set the tone of your whole day.  I really felt ready to go and that I could tackle any project before me.

I was at the office by 9:30 a.m. and found that our phone line is still messed up so there was no internet service.  Unfortunately most of what I really needed to do on Wednesday involved internet access.  It was a frustrating feeling being cut off—man, how I’ve grown accustomed to instant access!  I ended up running home at lunch time and transferred some emails onto a USB drive so I could take them back to my office to work on them. 

I’m doing a wedding on Friday afternoon and the rehearsal is Thursday afternoon.  I was able to get the wedding service all planned out (including the message) so I am ready for the rehearsal.  On Thursday afternoon and Friday morning I need to work on Sunday’s message and have everything ready for the secretary.

Wednesday night I rode with a police office as a part of my chaplain duties from 10 p.m.-2 a.m.  I got home and ready for bed about 3 a.m. so I decided I would sleep in on Thursday morning.  I am so grateful for those who serve and protect us every night and every hour of the day.  There are just not enough ways to demonstrate my gratefulness for what law enforcement officers do.  Every night that we lay down to sleep in relative peace and safety, we should say a word of thanks for them and for their safety. 

Saturday there is a workday at the church to begin building stud walls for the new handicapped bathroom addition.  I’ll work the morning there and then I have another wedding to attend on Saturday afternoon.  Busy days!

Thought for the Day:

Most of us don’t like change.  We are comfortable with the life we have created and we don’t want anything to disturb it.  People don’t want their church to change (if they like it) or their hometown to change.  The habits they are used to are like putting on an old comfortable pair of pants and a favorite shirt—we don’t want to give them up.  We can become rather nostalgic for the “good old days.”

On the other hand, some people seem to race after change and nothing is ever the same in their lives.  That level of change might be more neurotic than healthy; but for most of us we need to remember that change makes growth possible.  If everything remains exactly the same in your life, there is no need for personal growth and change.

Imagine if your child got stuck and never aged past eight years old.  As much as we hate to see our kids grow up sometimes; we would hate it even worse if they never grew or developed and perpetually stayed the same.  We understand that isn’t healthy or desirable.  Change gives us an opportunity to grow and mature. 

In Deuteronomy 32:11, Moses writes about an interesting fact of nature.  “He describes the mother eagle forcing her young to leave the nest and fly.  The eaglet wants to stay in the nest and be fed, but if he remains there, he will never use his great wings or enjoy the great heights for which he was created.  So his mother has to knock him out of the nest, catch him on her wings when he falls too far, and repeat the process until he learns to fly on his own.  You and I enjoy our little nests, and we have worked hard to build them.  This explains why we resent it when God starts to “shake up” the nest.  God wants us to grow.” [John Maxwell, How High Will You Climb?]

Deuteronomy 32:11    “…like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions.”

Change doesn’t ensure growth; it takes the right attitude to grow and mature when you are placed in new circumstances.  But doesn’t it make sense to take advantage of the opportunities we have instead of developing a bitter attitude about them?

One thing that I have learned is that you cannot necessarily control your life and what you will face.  All you can do is control how you will respond to these events.  I want my attitude to help me soar above my difficulties and to not crash into an ugly depression.  Life never holds still.  It seems like it is a moving target and I constantly have to adjust my aim.  I’m not going to be allowed to just sit and enjoy the nest forever anyway.  So I might as well choose to make the best of being pushed out!  It can be terrifying but hopefully I’ll get the hang of flying and begin to enjoy the new heights that I never knew I would reach.

So are you just going to snuggle deeper into the nest hoping you can stay a bit longer or are you going to spread your wings and fly on the winds of change?

Wednesday (7/23/2014)

Update:

I was glad that this week’s my eye injection didn’t hurt like the last one.  Usually I just feel pressure as the medication is injected.  Last week it hurt.  The nurse said that the doctor might have nicked a nerve last week; but she dosed me with extra numbing medication before this injection as well.  After getting the injection Monday at 10 a.m. I was able to read for a short time by 8 p.m.  Anything that I couldn’t enlarge on the computer screen had to be read with an extra-strength magnifying glass one word at a time. 

By Tuesday morning I could read fairly well. However, I got a ride from a fellow pastor to a meeting 30 miles away; I didn’t trust my vision enough to drive on my own.  By Tuesday night my vision was back to normal.

I had the toughest time getting my prosthetic leg on Tuesday morning. Monday I had my leg off most of the day and even with my shrinker sock on, my residual limb must have swelled overnight with the heat. It took me over 30 minutes of on/off, checking my locking mechanism and a bit of prayer to finally get it donned. I'd get my leg ALMOST on and then it would get stuck and I had to battle to try to pull in back off so I could check everything again.  At one point I almost had to call for some back up to help pull my leg (there's a joke embedded in that statement).  I finally got my leg close to being on and just left it for about 20 minutes; by that time the compression of the prosthesis reduced my leg size enough that I finally got fully settled into the socket.  I was worn out by the physical effort of trying to get my leg off/on before I even left the house!

Later in the afternoon, I did my exercises and a 9.5 bike ride and that pretty well wiped me out for the remainder of the day.  I had thought about doing some ironing or going to work at the office for a while in the evening; but my wife suggested that I just rest for the remainder of the evening.  That sounds like pretty good advice, I think I will follow it.

I left my prosthesis on until the very last minute before bed in an effort to keep my leg size down so I don’t have a repeat of Tuesday’s difficulty donning the leg.  Along with cooler temperatures I shouldn’t have a problem.

Thought for the Day:

I remember as a grade school student that there was a nearby special needs school that used our lunch room facility.  I am ashamed to say that along with my classmates I mocked those students.  I don’t think that we ever said anything directly to them; but I am sorry to say that I laughed and made fun of their condition.

What is it about people that lends us to ridicule or make fun of other people who are different?  I would like to think that we are uncomfortable dealing with physical difficulties and so we use “gallows humor” to cover our discomfort.  But perhaps it is something darker like the incessant need to build ourselves up and so we have to compare ourselves to others who we perceive are “less than we are” in some fashion; or that we are cruel and heartless by nature.

In school, kids that aren’t very athletic get teased by the jocks.  The jocks are teased by the brainy nerds.  The brainy nerds are teased by everyone else.  And round and round it goes.

As adults we are perhaps a little less vocal about our comparisons and putdowns but we can be just as vicious.  Perhaps we quickly judge someone by the amount on tattoo ink on the arms or by whether they have a criminal record.  With our nose high in the air we proclaim that person is “obviously not very spiritually mature or they cannot be trusted!”

I hope you recognize who the spiritually immature person really is. 

I just heard from a fellow amputee that his backyard neighbor asked him to not wear shorts in his own backyard because the neighbor was trying to rent his place and felt that having someone next door with a prosthesis lowered his property value—“so please keep your leg covered up.”  This neighbor is supposedly a pastor in the community.

Wow!  Talk about insensitive and mean-spirited!  People can be so oblivious to how their comments will cut a person deeply.

Throughout my life I have been rather insensitive and oblivious to the pain my comments have caused.  In the last few months, I’ve had a crash course in being more sensitive.  I’ve got a long way still to go; but I am making progress.

I hope that you will join me in seeking to recognize the value of each person and the respect that each one deserves no matter how different or disabled that they may be.  Most people are not going to be like you (and just imagine how boring and dysfunctional the world would be if everyone was perfectly alike).  Different is not necessarily wrong and not necessarily bad.  Don’t put yourself up on the pedestal of perfection and believe that everyone should be just like you.  Even if we cannot see our own flaws; others around us can and they know we aren’t perfect.  So give a little grace and understanding to those around you.  Don’t be so quick to judge and remember that the words you use may cause lasting pain.  And it is not just about the words we use, it is also about the attitude we harbor and the thoughts we think.

Monday (7/21/2014)

Update:

Saturday turned into a labor marathon.  My three sons came over and with the help of a friend with the right lawn tractor, we moved my storage shed in the backyard.  Of course that entailed emptying the shed first and doing some other prep work.  We moved the shed back into the yard 12-15 feet.  We’ve always had to go into the neighbor’s lawn to get big stuff in and out of the shed; that hasn’t been a problem so far because it has been my mother-in-law or brother-in-law living next door until now.  The house is being sold so I figured I better get the shed placed properly.  I was able to get rid of some stuff and rearrange the rest so the shed is very functional again.  I did a lot of the sorting while the boys worked at splitting some wood that needed to be taken care of since last fall. I am so grateful for the excellent help that I received. 

I had started out the morning doing my 60 minutes of exercise so I was already tired when the boys arrived at 10 a.m.  My energy level was such that I could work for 15-20 minutes then I needed to sit down and rest for 10 minutes.  I kept that cycle up all day.  At one point I even used the chainsaw to trim a few branches from a tree and then cut up the wood.  I did more chores on Saturday than I have been able to do since last fall.  It felt so good to be an active part of getting the work done; I wasn’t just a spectator—I was a participant.  I’m not as strong as I used to be yet; but I’m looking forward to increased stamina and strength so I can do more and more as time goes on.

The wood splitting and final clean up took until about 5 p.m.  Right when we finished one of my boys got a woodchip in his eye.  My wife could see it but couldn’t get it out.  Of course on Saturday evening there aren’t any eye doctors available and urgent care is closed (because no one would need help on a Saturday evening).  After a trip to the store for supplies, my wife was finally able to get it out of his eye.  After getting a good night’s sleep, his eye is fine. 

With the wood taking longer than expected and getting the wood out of the eye, my wife and I got home about 8:30 p.m. The extra time taken totally destroyed our plans—but it all needed to get done.  After I showered and got everything cleaned up, we watched some TV.  Sunday at church was being run by the Youth Group so neither of us had any responsibilities that required us to arrive as early as we normally do.  So we got to sleep in an extra hour and still have plenty of time.   I rode my motorcycle to church.

The shirt I wore that caused a bit of a stir.  Over 12 years ago, the youth pastor and I took the first group of our teens on a summer mission trip to Mexico.  On our way home, we spent the day at the beach at South Padre Island, TX.  A few of the girls wanted to go to a certain shop, so I drove them and while I was waiting, I found a bright blue and white Hawaiian shirt.  The one I tried on was a bit too small so I just grabbed the next larger size, made our purchases and then left.  It wasn’t until I got home in WI that I found out that the label was wrong on the shirt.  It was too small for me to wear.  So I stuck it in a cabinet for “someday.”  Recently when I was looking for smaller clothes to wear, I found that shirt and found out it fit!  So today for Youth Sunday, I wore the shirt.  I told my wife that the shirt was a bit too loud for me—but I wore it anyway and got many compliments.  What is funny is that I’ve continued to lose weight and the shirt is actually too big for me now.  I’ll soon give it away. I had originally purchased it with the idea of wearing it on Youth Sunday in support of our teens, so it fulfilled its purpose.  I really can’t believe that I never got rid of the shirt for all these years.   I wore the shirt to lunch and my boys said that I looked like Shawn Spencer’s dad on Psych. 

I rode my motorcycle into Eau Claire for lunch with my family and then took the long way home afterwards.  Although it was hot, windy and the gnats were out, I rode my bicycle for 10 miles on Sunday afternoon to make up for eating too much at lunch. 

The prescription-strength antiperspirant for my residual leg really worked!  Sunday afternoon’s bike ride in the heat proved that to me.  I checked my leg after the ride and I barely had even a sheen of sweat on my leg instead of the large puddle of sweat on the floor.  It is a very weird process to apply it the night before and wrapping it in Saran wrap overnight—but it is supposed to last for a week—so I am satisfied right now.

On Monday, I have another eye injection scheduled for the morning.  This is in my good eye (left) so I will be out of commission the rest of the day and into Tuesday.  That being said I won’t publish and Update/Thought on Tuesday because I won’t be able to see well enough to use the computer.

Thought for the Day:

“Years ago an experiment was conducted to measure people’s capacity to endure pain.  How long could a bare-footed person stand in a bucket of ice water?  It was discovered that when there was someone else present offering encouragement and support, the person standing in the ice water could tolerate pain twice as long as when no one else was present.”  [John Maxwell, Encouragement Changes Everything].

Who do you have that stands alongside of you to give you encouragement?

Encouragement may come in many different forms.  It may be someone’s physical presence, an apt word spoken at just the right time, a note card or phone call that expresses support, a prayer offered, a meal or act of kindness, or even just knowing that the person is rooting for you wherever they are located, near or far.  Sometimes it can be as simple as a friend “liking” your Face Book post or as drastic as them dropping everything, taking time off work and flying cross country to be at your side.

If you are going through difficult times don’t be afraid to try to gather a cadre of encouragers.  There are going to be days when your “go-to guy” isn’t available and you’ll need someone to stand in his place.  Or perhaps whatever you face is so big and overwhelming that you need several encouragers all at the same time to give you what you need to hang in there.

And as much as possible you should personally seek to be an encourager to other people.  Give back to others what you have received (or give what you wished you would have received).  Be a friend that is there for other people.  Take time to write the note, drop in for a few minutes at that hospital, or pick up the phone for a short visit.  Over time those little things add up and can make a huge impact on others around us.  There have been times when I am amazed at how people fondly remember the little things that I did for them like they were a big deal!  It obviously wasn’t a terrible hardship on me if I don’t even remember doing it; but it meant the world to them.

People around you will be standing in their own bucket of ice water and will need your support to get them through their ordeal.  There will be days when you are shivering in the icy waters of pain and need someone to lean up.  Find a friend to lean on and it you’ll be able to bear up under the pain much better—whether it is physical or emotional pain, we all need encouragement.

Saturday (7/19/2014)

Update:

I didn’t tell you one story from Thursday night.  After I get my eye injection, I have to put antibiotic drops in my eye four times a day for five days.  My original bottle was basically empty so I threw it in the trash on Thursday morning.  I got out my new bottle of drops and took it with me to work.  On my way home I took the bottle out of my pocket and left it in the truck. Later I rode with the police until about midnight and then got ready for bed.  After I had my leg off and everything clean and sprayed down I remembered that I hadn’t taken my drops and that my bottle was out in the truck.  At 12:45 a.m. I really didn’t want to ride my wheelchair down the ramp, grab the medication and then have to get myself back up the ramp and back into the house—I was too tired.  So I did what most men would do—I dug around in the trash until I found the old bottle.  After washing it off, I managed to get one more drop out of the bottle and then went to bed very satisfied.  I still cannot believe I really did that!

At work, our trial subscription for Office 365 is about to run out.  We decided to purchase it when the screen came up that it was $150 for each user.  All the previous screens seem to indicate that you could install it on multiple computers with different users for that one low price!  Sold!--until that fateful screen that suddenly said EACH.  After searching we decided just to go with a standard Office Suite it was going to cost about $170 for each computer (the $150 was every year; the $170 was a one-time purchase).  I decided to drive the ten miles in to Best Buy to make certain I got the tax exemption.  I told one of the workers what I wanted and he suggested Office 365 for $100 that can be used up to five computers.  What???  I was a bit confused why this price was so much more reasonable—but I was feeling pretty happy.  After I drove home, I tried to load the software.  An error message came up saying the product wasn’t activated.  The instructions said to take the card and the receipt back to the store to have them activate the product.  So I drove ten miles back into town.  At Best Buy I was informed that the product had been properly activated—the problem was on Microsoft’s end.  Argh!! The manager said to try loading it again.  Microsoft was aware of the problem and was seeking to fix it—be patient and keep trying it over the next few days.   My other option was to bring my computers into the store and the Geek Squad would get it loaded for me.  Hmmm??? Drive back to Fall Creek and take all four computers in, leave them at Best Buy, and then drive back home again.  I don’t think so.  I did try re-entering the code after I got home.  It still gives me the same error message.  Ever have a day like that?  Almost wonderful but at the same time frustrating.

I am not certain why but all day long the little toe on my left foot has been itching and burning.  I’ve been longing to take my shoe off and rub it until it feels better.  I won’t call it phantom pain because it is nothing like the lightning bolts of pain that some amputees have; instead I will call it “phantom discomfort” because there is very little I can do to relieve the feeling that I am having.  I am grateful that I have had very few moments of pain since my amputation in December 2013.  I know that many people are not so fortunate as I have been.  Thinking about those with severe phantom pain and wishing them relief!

At church on Friday afternoon I walked in the yard and in the gravel around the building.  The instructions I got from my therapist on Thursday really helped me as I walked.  I was much more relaxed and the short walk went well.  Practice, practice, practice!

I had a counseling appointment in the evening and then headed for home to relax and start the bedtime routine early enough to get a good night’s sleep.

Thought for the Day:

“However desperate your life may seem, there is hope.  As bad as circumstances appear, there are better days ahead. No matter how dire your circumstances may appear, you can rise above them.  To wish for change will change nothing.  To make the decision to take action right now will change everything!  ...If you feel frustrated right now, that’s okay.  Your sense of frustration means you want more for your life than you have right now.  That’s all good.  Often it’s the challenges in life that show us who we are truly meant to be.”  [Nick Vujicic, Life Without Limits].

Why do we often let our circumstances determine our mood and outlook in life?  Very rarely will those things lead us anywhere but down.  That negative focus often leads us to believe that nothing is possible.  If we believe that is true then we never even try and nothing will be accomplished. 

I would suggest that instead we look towards the positive and expand our beliefs of what is possible.  If we try, we might just find that some things which we assumed were impossible were really possible.  And even if we find out that our dreams don’t come true; we’ve gained some valuable experiences along the way.  Our lives will be fuller and richer for having lived our lives stretching and grasping to reach just a bit further.   It’s fairly certain that our lives will be duller if we only strive to achieve what we are certain that we can grasp.  It is the challenge of striving for the possible and potentially improbable that makes life exciting.

I just saw a video of Kacy Catanzaro.  She is the first female to complete the semi-final round of American Ninja Warrior (ANW).  ANW is an extremely physical and mental challenging obstacle course competition.  What make her victory so amazing is that she in only five foot tall and weighs 100 lbs.  Most men fail the course that she completed.  Looking at her size and the odds against her being successful, most people would have encouraged Kacy to never even try.  But she did and she was successful.  Let’s be realistic, Kacy is not the first woman to compete in the American Ninja Warrior competition—so I am not suggesting that if you just “dream it you can achieve it.”  But I do know that if you give up before you even try; you will never achieve anything.  So why not take a chance and swing for the fence—you might just hit a home run.  And no matter the outcome, enjoy the game along the way.

Right now your life may be the pits; but you don’t have to remain there.  Begin to make small changes that will result in a large change over the course of time.  Before you know it, your life will be vastly different than what it is now.  

Friday (7/18/2014)

Update:

I spent the morning at my church office doing some on-line research for a replacement for the company that provides our phone tree service.  Our current provider is going out of business and I think I’ve found a replacement finally.

I had an appointment with my physical therapist about walking “off-road” in uneven terrain.  I was concerned that I was using the wrong technique—and it turns out I was!  I’ve been trying to clinch all of my leg muscles every step I took so I wouldn’t get so much leg wobble if I stepped in a pothole, etc.  As you can imagine, it is hard to keep that up every step that you take walking in the woods.  Randy, my PT, told me to relax and allow a bit of movement.  It is kind of hard for me to explain the difference in technique.  Maybe it would be similar to having your foot ready to apply the brakes and riding the brakes where your foot is always already on the pedal.  Randy wants me to just spend more time practicing while keeping my head up and not be so focused on the ground.  He also wants me to practice walking in gravel or rocks.  A lot of what he was telling me is learning to trust my leg and my body to do their jobs and to not try to micro-manage.  I walk well on the flat, and level ground and I have good muscle strength so all I need to some practice to become confident in rougher terrain.  Well, okay then.  Here we go!

I picked up my dry cleaning (got to have a suit for next week’s wedding I’m performing and picked up a few items at the grocery store as well.  By the time I got the groceries in the house and put away it was time for dinner.

After dinner with Karen, I ironed some clothes and then rode along with a police officer in my role as Chaplain.  It was a rather quiet ride; but a good time to catch up with the officer that I hadn’t ridden with for months.  The toughest part of getting back in the cycle of riding with police officers is that most of the time I ride is late at night.  Since my operation back in December, I have found that I need more sleep and I am not used to staying up past 10:30 p.m.  So getting acclimatized takes a bit more effort than it used to.  So far I am just staying out to about midnight.  Next week I have one ride scheduled that I won’t get done until 2 a.m.  That means I won’t get into bed before 3 or 3:30 a.m.  I don’t think that I’ll get up at 4:30 a.m. with Karen the next morning; I’ll sleep in instead.

I am beginning to have some slippage issues with my prosthesis again due to my continual weight loss.  Knowing today is Friday makes it a bit trickier.  It is not too bad today; by tomorrow it could have changed and be drastically worse.  My prosthetic lab is closed over the weekend, so if anything is going to be done before next week, it has to be done in the next few hours.  It is noticeable but not too bad right now.  I wish I knew how fast things would change in the next few days—it would make it easier to decide.  

Thought for the Day:

In the well-known biblical story of the Prodigal Son, almost everyone knows about the younger son who took his share of the family’s wealth and squandered it on sinful choices and ended up destitute.  His pitiful condition made him appreciate how good he had it when he lived at home in a relationship with his father.  This son humbled himself and returned home asking forgiveness and asked just to be treated like a servant because he deserved no better.  The father welcomed him back into the family as a son.

What we often miss is the older brother’s reaction to all of this.  He was upset by the father accepting his brother back.  I guess that his attitude is understandable.  His brother already had taken his share of the estate and squandered it.  Now he is back and nibbling into the older brother’s share.  So it is costing the older brother some of “his” wealth.  Dad’s not even dead yet and the siblings are squabbling over how the property is going to be divided.  I’ve heard the justification of the older brother in families today, “Well he was around and helped dad every day.  He deserves a bigger portion of the estate, then the kids who just came back to see dad once every year or so.”  That may be true—but wasn’t good is the attitude that the older brother had developed.

He was so upset that he wouldn’t even claim the younger son as his brother.  “This son of yours…”  You can hear the anger dripping off these words!  The older son then went down a laundry list of what a good son he had been.  He did everything the father wanted.  He stuck around and did the heavy lifting.  Bravo!  But one of the things that developed in his heart was a bitter coldness.  He became a legalist who followed the rules but burned in his heart with frustration and anger because dad never threw him a party!  BUT…the younger son returns home and all is forgiven and a giant celebration is given in his honor.  The older brother is upset because, in his own mind, he had never failed his father.  He obeyed him to the letter.  He developed a sense of moral superiority and self-righteousness.  He lost a sense of mercy and joy in serving.  He did what dad wanted out of duty and obligation along with an expectation of recognition and appreciation for what he had done for dear old dad.  His poor attitude fully blossoms at his brother’s return.

Yep!  Sometimes we overlook the fact that although the story is called, “The Prodigal Son” that there are actually two prodigals.  One physically left the family and the other mentally had strayed away.  The younger son came to his senses and returned asking forgiveness which he received in abundance.  The story ends without the older brother finding and granting forgiveness.  We’re left hanging and never know if he made the right choice or if he held onto his mistaken sense of self-righteousness until the day of his death.  Stubborn pride can keep us locked up in a prison of our own making at times.

The bible is clear that the real story that we should see is that this earthly father represents our Heavenly Father and that either one or the other brother represents us.  We learn that there is nothing that we do that will keep God Our Father from accepting us back and granting full forgiveness if we turn back to Him.  We also learn that He wants those of us who have stuck around and been obedient (at least outwardly) to be accepting and gracious to those who have failed.  God wants us to lose the self-righteous attitude and love Him and our brothers and sisters in Christ.

I’d encourage you to read the biblical account of this story in Luke 15:11-32 and then spend some time thinking about which brother most closely represents you—and what do you need to do about it.

Thursday (7/17/2014)

Update:

I’ve enjoyed the cooler weather for sleeping!  After a good night’s rest, on Wednesday I did my exercises and my bike ride and checked the scale.  I immediately went to weigh-in a day early because of the fantastic results.  I ended up losing 3.8 pounds this week—hopefully I finally made it through the weight loss plateau that I have been on for the last few weeks.  I was hoping for maybe a quarter pound loss, so this was a wonderful conclusion to the Biggest Loser I’ve been participating in.  My total weight loss in nine weeks is 24.4 pounds.  Although the competition is over, I will still be exercising, riding my bike and watching my diet because I have at least 30 more pounds to lose!  This has gotten me into good habits and given me the motivation I needed to begin.  Right now I’ve got momentum going so I plan on just continuing on doing what has worked well for me so far.  One of the reasons for me working so hard to get down to my goal weight is the fit of my prosthesis.  Slight variations in my residual leg means big headaches for keeping my prosthesis fitting correctly.  Without a correct fit, I really cannot walk—so I have huge motivation to drop the weight and then keep it stable.

Most of the rest of my day was spent visiting a friend in the hospital. She had her hip replaced and is doing well.  I also made a number of phone calls to folks that I needed to touch base with.  After an early dinner I went to the church to prepare for a meeting I had that evening.

After the meeting it was time to begin my bedtime routine.  I had picked up my prescription antiperspirant for my residual leg earlier in the day. It gets applied at night, my leg wrapped, and then washed off in the morning.  I do that for three nights in a row and then supposedly I only have to do it once a week after that.  Sounds kind of weird.  We’ll see how it goes and how well it works.

Thought for the Day: 

“What measurements do you use to define your self-worth? Do you define it based on your financial assets? Is it based on what you have achieved professionally? Perhaps you define your value based on the number of children you have.  There are many things we can use to define our self-worth. However, the scriptures tell us there is only one measure for our self-worth. Each of us has self-worth because we are made in the image of God. And because we are made in the image of God, we are valuable. Whenever you and I place a value in ourselves that is based on some other performance criteria, we have moved beyond God's view of our worth as human beings. You are never more valuable to God than you were the day you were born.”    [Os Hillman, Today God is First (TGIF), on-line devotional message, 7//17/2014].

If you think that your self-worth is based upon your abilities, what happens when through aging or disability you are no longer able to do those things?  Are you less of a person?  Many people based their value upon the job that they do and then are devastated when they lose their job or retire.  Now who are they? 

It is easy to base your concept of self on your financial resources.  If your evaluation of self-worth is “I am somebody if I have the money to buy a nice house, fine car, and purchase whatever I want” then you are in trouble when your resources are diminished or gone.  Have you noticed that advertising is designed to make you dissatisfied with what you already have?  Its message is “life is not worth living unless you have what we offer.”  There is an endless amount of “toys” that could be purchased and never enough cash to purchase them all.  It is a system designed to make us feel less than satisfied with ourselves.  This changes the message in our mind to “I am somebody if I have the RIGHT things” and we are nobody if we don’t.

We often tie our concept of self-worth to the idea of how happy we are.  As long as we are happy, then “I’m okay.”  But when we are unhappy, we quickly turn to despair and decide that “life is no longer worth living.”  Does our value as a person really fluctuate along the lines of our feelings?

Here’s where things really go south!  Not only do many people place the value of their lives based upon false standards like these; they also evaluate others based upon those same faulty standards.  The result is that they devalue the lives of those around them.  “You aren’t worth anything because you’ve got nothing!”  Or just as defective, we value people for how well they perform.  The result is that we elevate actors or athletes well beyond the true level of worth in our society.  Does it really make sense the amount of money some people receive to play a game or to portray a character while say educators struggle to make a living wage?  Our value system is really wacked!

Here is another problem with our flawed view of self-worth, you and I tend to judge everyone else around us by the same warped standards that we hold true.   We often devalue people based upon a prejudiced viewpoint.  Prejudice means that we are “pre-judging” a person before we even get to know them.  For instance, a law-abiding citizen looks down upon a criminal as the scum-of-the-earth. We may not know them personally or even know what their crime was; but because they have a record we automatically look at them as less than desirable.  We devalue them in our mind.  The result is that we tend to treat people we view as less desirable with less kindness and more harshly.  Now we’ve hit a slippery slope!

Instead, we need to remember that our value (and everyone else’s) has already been determined by God.  We are created in His image; that is with the hint of His attributes; so therefore we are valuable as individuals.  Our value is not based upon performance or position or power.  Our value is rooted in who we are—human beings and the fact that God loves us for who we are.  That’s why everyone we come in contact with (including ourselves) is worthy of respect and being treated with dignity.  They may not have our good looks, social graces, or financial resources; but that doesn’t matter. 

If everyone came to believe this and live it out in their lives, our world would be a much better place.  Now we may not be able to change everyone’s mind; but we can change our own.  What does the way you look at people and treat people say about your basis of evaluation?  Look deep within your heart and then look up to God and compare your way and His.  Do they line up with one another?  They should!

Mark 12:28-31    “One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’ ‘The most important one,’ answered Jesus, ‘is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'  The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." (This is also echoed in Matthew 22:36-40).

Treat others as you yourself desire to be treated.  Give them the same level of respect and dignity that you deserve.  Don’t devalue yourself, or others, based upon a false value system.  God love you so you are somebody special!  Believe it!  Live it out!