Saturday (7/25/2015)

Update:

On Thursday, my primary doctor made some changes to my medications that have really helped reduce my pain and allow me to get a much better night’s rest.  That means two things.  I am able to sit in my wheelchair for longer periods of time and not have to go lay down to relieve the pain as often; as well as reducing the need that I had for taking naps throughout the day.  Whew!  That’s much better!

I’ve got another appointment scheduled with the Pain Clinic on August 10^th.  Back in June I had a facet injection (steroid injected into the facet joint of the spine) that relieved 90-95% of my back pain and significantly reduced the sciatic nerve pain too.  June’s injection has worn off and now that the surgeon has removed my post-op restrictions, I’m going back for more treatment.  I don’t know if it will happen this visit or not, but my doctor at the pain clinic had talked about a more long lasting treatment called radio frequency lesioning.  Sign me up!  I might have to have another injection or two before they perform the radio frequency treatment.  Reduction in pain means a reduction in pain medications as well.  I look forward to that!

I just got word yesterday that my insurance company has finally approved my new wheelchair.  The one I’ve been using is borrowed, old and worn out.  I need a new one and it needs improved back support (I think part of my back problem is due to sitting in the wheelchair so much since having trouble with my prosthesis).  This has been a long process.  I first talked with my doctor last December and then had a wheelchair evaluation in January.  Since then it has been one delay and rejection after another by the insurance company.  Now almost eight months later, it is approved!  Yeah!  I should have my new chair in a few weeks now.  It won’t be too different from the one I currently have but it will be mine, brand new, and set up for me specifically.

I’ve slowly begun to exercise again.  After sitting in the chair doing nothing for almost three months (under doctor’s orders), I’m taking it easy so I don’t hurt myself.  Wouldn’t that be awful if I pulled a muscle or tore something at this point!  I’ve finally started doing some stretching exercises that my physical therapist gave me right before my surgery.  I have another appointment with her on Monday.  Now that I have been cleared by the surgeon, I should have a series of PT appointments in the next few weeks to see if they can help ease my pain. 

As long as I’m not under the influence of narcotic pain relievers I can drive again. So I might have some times when I cannot drive; but overall I’ve regained my freedom!!!!  I had put my gym membership on hold for June and July, so on August 1^st I can head back to the gym to swim and lift some weights.  I really look forward to do that!!! 

I haven’t heard back from my surgeon yet about treatment or referrals concerning the hypersensitive nerve in my residual limb.  Right now, I’m on hold with my prosthetic limb.  I cannot wear it, nor can I have my prosthetist try to build a new leg for me.  I’ve got to let the nerve in my leg heal; and that might be a year-long process.   I’m going to rack up some serious wheelchair time unless they come up with some surprise fix that they haven’t thought of yet! 

I really am feeling the best that I have in months.  I’m feeling so good that I’m planning to go to church in the morning.  I’ve felt so poorly that I haven’t been for the last seven weeks.  I’m looking forward to going!  Things seemed to have turned around for me and it is a whole lot easier to maintain a positive attitude!  I deeply appreciate your prayers and well-wishes for me.

Tuesday (7/21/2016)

Update:

Yesterday I had the stent removed from my right ureter.  It went smoothly and was relatively pain-free.  I felt fine afterwards especially when the doctor said that my restrictions were lifted.  Nice!  Now I can begin the process of regaining my strength after sitting in the wheelchair for almost three months while ordered not to exercise.

My brother was up from St. Louis for an extra-long weekend.  He kept me busy and I enjoyed his company.  I even went grocery shopping for the first time in about 10 weeks.  It was nice to get out but I still had limited stamina.  Usually I was forced home and back in bed to relieve the back pain I had after sitting in the wheelchair for an hour or two.  With the storm Friday night causing all the tree damage in my town and on my street, we had lots of “entertainment” getting to watch work crew clean up the mess.  My street was blocked for several hours and the power was down from early morning until 9 p.m. on Saturday.  Thankfully no one was injured.  It was great seeing neighbor helping neighbor as people pitched in to get things cleaned up.  Who says that Fall Creek is boring on the weekends?

I also got word back from lab that my liver is now back to normal.  I’ll undergo continued tests as they keep an eye on it for a while; but that is a relief.  I don’t know what this will mean long-term for my pain reliever use; but I am hoping I can get something besides the narcotics so I have more options (Everything else was taken away to relieve stress on the liver).  Obviously I won’t be able to drive if I am taking narcotics for pain.  I don’t like that potential limit, so I’m hoping for something to reduce my pain levels without narcotics.

Later this week, I have an appointment with my primary physician to discuss these pain management options.  I’m hoping that I will be given the okay to return to the pain clinic for another treatment for my back pain.  Almost all of my pain comes from my lower back and sciatic nerve in the left leg. Everything was put on hold while I healed after surgery and stressed my liver.  Things are starting to look like I will be able to move forward and make some progress now.  I also get to return to physical therapy to see if that will help relief my symptoms.

So August looks like it will be a busy month with plenty of medical appoints…that’s pretty standard now (I average two medical appointments per week).  Thankfully I appear to be moving forward again.   I’m thankful that I have the opportunity to regain some of my life and the things that I like to do.   I am feeling better than I have for several months—I’m thank for that!!!

Thursday (7/16/2015)

Update:

It has been awhile since I’ve posted an update.  It has been a rough recovery time for me following kidney surgery.  During that time the doctors also found that my liver was struggling, so they changed all my medications to ease the stress on it.  Unfortunately, I had reactions to some of the new medications they put me on that put me back in the hospital for an additional six days.  Without giving TMI, I’ve also had almost continuous bowel issues (just think extremes on both ends of the spectrum) since the surgery/med changes.  For the last month the only place outside the house that I’ve gone to is the hospital ER/doctor visits.  I haven’t felt well enough or strong enough to go anywhere else, including church on Sundays.  Fortunately, I am beginning to feel better.  I might try a few short outings.  I don’t have much energy yet, so I’ll be picking and choosing.

On Monday (7/20), I have a post-op follow up appointment with my Urologist.  Hopefully, my restrictions will be removed so that I can drive and exercise, etc. if I feel up to it.  I need to begin to rebuild my strength and stamina.  All I have been doing for the last two months is sitting in the wheelchair, the recliner, or lying in bed.  I am really looking forward to resuming life again.

I had an appointment with the surgeon who did my below the knee amputation (12/2013) about the painful nerve on the end of my residual limb.  The pain is what stopped me from wearing a prosthesis and walking for the last several months.  After examining me, he told me that he didn’t know it was but it wasn’t the neuroma that it was assumed to be.  So much for a fairly simple surgery to repair it and move on.  He said that although he’s dealt with 100’s of amputations, he has never seen anything like what I have before.  He was going to do some research and consult other surgeons about it.  He may refer me to specialists over in Rochester, MN (hometown of the Mayo Health System).  Right now, there is no surgical option or quick fix.  He said that it is obvious that the nerve was bruised and the only thing we may be able to do is give time for it to heal.  The doctor said that nerves heal about 1 cm per month.  From the amount of painful area that I have, that could mean 8-12 months for it to completely heal.  Anything that I do to bump, bruise or reinjure it resets the clock.  The bottom line is that I might be stuck in the wheelchair for the next year before my leg is healed enough to enable me to wear a prosthesis again.  That is sobering news!  I am hoping that the doctors will still find some easy fix and I can move on with my life; but I am mentally preparing for the long haul.

I’ve got to say that spending the year in the wheelchair isn’t my idea of having fun.  There are a lot of things that I will miss out on without the ability to walk.  On the other hand, if I am able to drive and get around by myself as I have in the past with my wheelchair, then it would be bearable.  One of the things that I really want to do is start going back to the gym to work out and to swim.

So there is still a lot of “wait and see” that I am facing.  Is my kidney/ureter healed enough for me to resume life?  Is my liver returning to health?  Will there be any options to repair my residual limb or will I just have to wait it out?  I’m also on hold waiting for another facet injection or treatment to reduce my back pain.  I am still “fighting” with my insurance company over purchasing a wheelchair for me (I’ve been borrowing the one I have and it’s time to give it back).  With medication changes that were made, I don’t have anything for minor or moderate pain.  All I have is narcotics for major pain.  Not having options is a major pain in itself.  I haven’t been sleeping at night.  That has been driving me crazy.  I could go on and on and on; but you get the idea.

The only thing constant in all of this has been my faith in God and the devotion of my wife to me.  I don’t know where all of this is headed.  I don’t know what will happen next.  It seems like eventually I will start to get good news and have some things go right for a change.  Perhaps it will and perhaps it won’t.  I cannot change my circumstances, and I don’t have any control over my health and vitality.  The only thing that I have control over is my attitude—I plan on it remaining positive no matter what I face and how long it takes.  If you think about it, what other options do I have?  I could rage against the injustice OR I could be depressed and become bitter.  NOPE!  I think a positive attitude of hope and faith no matter my circumstances is a much better option.  That way whatever happens to me, I will be a better person for it.

Whatever you are facing, I’d encourage you to choose the attitude you want to have.  You might as well make the best out of what life has dealt you too.

Wednesday (7/1/2015)

Thought for the Day:

Psalm 119: 71  “It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.”

Psalm 119:75  “I know, O LORD, that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.”

Randy Alcorn writes, “If it was good for the psalmist to be afflicted, then for God to send that affliction would be to send good, wouldn’t it?  To withhold that affliction would be to withhold good.  My friend David O’Brien told me that God used his cerebral palsy to draw him to depend upon Christ.  Is he better off?  He’s convinced that he is.  His seventy-five years of suffering are no cosmic accident or satanic victory, but severe mercy from the good hand of God.  I haven’t met many people more convinced of God’s goodness than David O’Brien.  He’s experienced a lifetime of serious afflictions that many consider senseless evil, but David sees them as tools in the hands of a good God. [If God is Good, Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil].

I then read in Richard Carlson’s book, “The root of being uptight is our unwillingness to accept life as being different, in any way, from our expectations. Very simply, we want things to be a certain way but they’re not a certain way.  Life is simply as it is….  The first step in recovering from over seriousness is to admit that you have a problem.  You have to want to change to become more easygoing.  You have to see that your own uptightness is largely of your own creation—it’s composed of the way you have set up your life and the way you react to it.  The next step is to understand the link between your expectations and your frustration level.  Whenever you expect something to be a certain way and it isn’t, you’re upset and you suffer.  On the other hand, when you let go of your expectations, when you accept life as it is, you’re free.” [Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, and it’s all small stuff].

As I thought about what I had read and about what I know about God, it really made sense.  My afflictions (for me these are medical issues, for you it might be a multitude of things) are intended by God to bring about good in my life.  If my continued problems are the tools that God uses to work in my life, to strengthen my faith, to draw me closer to God, then why would I object to them?  In fact, if they are good for me, then if God refused to allow them to happen to me, I would be getting less than all the goodness God desired to bestow up me.  That’s an entirely different viewpoint from what we usually have concerning afflictions.

You probably understand how easy it is to wander away from God.  It’s not planned; but over time, your relationship cools, you don’t spend as much meaningful time in reading the bible and in praying, your feel a separation growing between you.  When things are going well in my life, I find myself easily becoming complacent.  If I’ve got a good income, a happy family, and my health (my basic needs are met), what more do I really need?  A stress-free life rarely incites a hunger for God and you rarely see Him at work in your life.  On the other hand, difficulties, affliction, turmoil, pain and suffering strip away this sense of satisfied well-being.  It is at these times when we cry out to God more frequently and we spend more time seeking Him.  When we come to the point of accepting what our new reality is and let go of our unrealistic expectations, when we learn to confidently trust in Him despite our circumstance, then peace can begin to flood our souls.

This doesn’t mean that we give up and don’t seek to overcome our affliction; but it means that we aren’t as frantic and panicked if it doesn’t happen (or happen as quickly as we might like).  My desire is for God to restore my health to me and allow me to enjoy my life doing the things that I want to do most.  Maybe that will happen.  Maybe it won’t.  If I remain the same (or even grow worse), yes, I’ll be disappointed but I will not despair.  For I am certain that God is at work in me. 

One way of thinking about this is to ask yourself the question, “Is God enough?”  If I have God and lose everything else that I think makes up the good life, would God be enough?  It is one thing to say that when it is all blue skies, butterflies and cuddly puppies.  It is quite another when plank after plank of the life you’ve built is ripped away from you.

As painful as it has been, I am grateful to say that at this point in my life, I will confirm that God is enough.  I might find greater affliction ahead and more things stripped from my grasp, but I hope to continue to say, God alone is enough!

Job 13:15    “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him;”