Update:
Back on September 25, I had my ultrasound appointment in Rochester, MN
concerning the hypersensitive nerve in my residual limb that prohibits me from
wearing my prosthesis. The doctor found
that my nerve was “abnormal” from mid-thigh down to the end of my limb with
several places that were “extremely abnormal.”
This result prompted my Physical Rehab doctor to refer me to a
neurosurgeon for examination. I’ve been
waiting the last couple of weeks to hear from neurosurgeon to set up the
appointment. Frankly, I was starting to
get antsy waiting for the appointment to be set up because I assumed I’d have
to wait a month or two to get in to see the doctor. So I was pleasantly surprised when I got a
call this afternoon that I have an appointment for next Tuesday!!! Wow! I
had just had lunch with a couple of buddies and asked them to pray for me
concerning this appointment and the issues I’m having with my leg. That was a quick answer! I think I’ll ask them to pray for me more
often!! LOL. So next Tuesday, October 13th, I
have an consult appointment with a world renown peripheral neurosurgeon. We’ll see what other evaluations and
treatment recommendations he has to offer for me. I view this as the next step on my quest to
walk again.
Last week I posted on Face Book that I had swept and mopped my wood
floors from my wheelchair. I’ve done it
before and it takes a fair amount of energy.
This time a few hours after I was done, I got a back ache. By the next morning I was in a lot of
pain. I had to lay flat on my back on
the floor for several hours to ease everything back into place. I’ve taken it easy since then (not going to
the gym) to let it heal. What a mess I
am when just a little twisting throws me out of whack!
Since my amputation, I’ve needed more sleep each night than I used to
need. This past week, I’ve had to get up
earlier than I am used to doing. By
dinner time the other night I was so weary that I told my wife that I might go
to bed as soon as we finished eating because “I ONLY got seven hours of sleep last
night.” Some of you probably hate me
right now because you are forced to get by on much less sleep. If so, I hope you get a few extra hours sleep
this weekend!
One of the fun things that I have been able to do this past week is to
help out the firefighters that I serve as chaplain by doing fire safety
presentations for school children. That
has been an awesome time! My amputated
leg confuses the little ones but after I tell them that I have “a robot leg at
home; but it’s broken right now so I cannot walk and I have to ride in this
wheelchair” they think it’s pretty cool.
One little guy was still very concerned and kept whispering to his
teacher. I couldn’t hear him but I hear
her answer, “No. He isn’t hiding his
foot. He really doesn’t have one.” Kids are awesome! I’m grateful that I have had the opportunity
to be with them. October is Fire
Prevention month, so change the batteries in your smoke detectors and talk to
your family about what to do in case of a fire!
Thought for the Day:
After seeing the news recently, I got thinking about the 10
Commandments. I smiled at myself as I
realized that I’ve started having trouble with the one that says, “You shall
not covet your neighbor’s [things].”
I’ve never been overly materialistic and never really considered that I
had a problem with this one. I’ve never
really looked at others and wished I had their stuff, so I’ve not felt the
sting of disobeying this one overly much.
But lately I’ve wanted other people’s legs! I look longingly at others who are able to
walk either with their God-given legs or on prosthetic ones. I’m grateful for what I am able to accomplish
in my wheelchair and for all the mobility and freedom that I have; but I’d
really like to walk in the fall woods, mow my own grass and shovel my own snow
this winter. I want to ride my bicycle, walk
into stores, and climb stairs on my own two feet (even if one of my feet is
metal and composite materials). I want
to get back to the two-legged life!
I thought that after my amputation that I had the concept of patience
down pretty well. Now as I continue to
remain in the wheelchair fulltime since February, my lack of patience is
rearing its ugly head again. Early this
year, I had hoped that I would be walking by the summer. Then it was by fall. Now it is by Christmas. But honestly it might be much longer in
coming. And perhaps it won’t happen at
all. I may never walk again or it might
be years from now. I don’t know. Only time will tell. So ultimately I have to put all of my desires
aside otherwise I will go crazy, becoming unhappy and bitter.
Contentment: The state
of being mentally or emotionally satisfied with things just as they are; a
feeling of calm satisfaction.
There is nothing wrong in wishing and working hard towards a better
future. There are some things that we MUST
achieve and some changes that HAVE to be made.
But for most things, there is a line that we shouldn’t cross in striving
too hard and giving up too much in pursuit of them. There are some things that we cannot change
or that would cost too much of us to achieve.
Learning contentment and striving for a calm satisfaction with the
status quo may be the best thing that we can do for ourselves and for our
families.
So I am choosing to remind myself to be content and to be at peace with
my circumstances. I hope that someday
that I’ll walk again; but I’m not going to waste a lot of emotional energy
craving for that day to come sooner than it will.
What are you allowing to damage your calm?