Update:
I’m quickly coming up on the second
anniversary of my initial hospitalization and amputation. I entered the hospital on Thanksgiving
morning 2013 and my leg was amputated on December 3, 2013. So I’ve been reflecting on the past two
years.
Numbers: I just counted
up the number of medical appointments (labs, procedures, doctor visits, etc.)
that I’ve had in the last two years: 187.
Wow! One hundred eighty-seven
appointments in two years! That works
out to one appointment just under every four days (or just over seven
appointments per month). That number is
mind boggling to me! And it appears to
me that number will continue to grow about the same rate during the next year. I currently have over twelve doctors and
medical practitioners working with me. I
appreciate all that my medical team has done for me so far. I especially want to point out two people
have worked diligently with me, my Physiatrist, Dr. Schmidt, and my
Prosthetist, Leah. These two ladies have
bent over backwards to help me over the past two years.
History: As I think back to Thanksgiving Day 2013 (the day I
was taken to the Emergency Room), I am thankful to be alive. I had a massive infection raging in my
bloodstream. The doctors told my wife if
she had delayed getting me to the hospital by even an hour, I probably would
have died. By the grace of God, the
amputation, a boat load of antibiotics, and awesome medical care, my life was
saved. Since that time, it seems that most things
have not gone easily for me medically. I
seem to be a living example of both Murphy’s Law (If things can go wrong, they
will go wrong) and at the same time, the grace of God (after all, I’m still
kicking and screaming). I’ve had eye
trouble (macular degeneration and cataracts, etc.), kidney issues (a congenital
problem repaired surgically), liver problems, reactions to medications, lower
back and sciatic nerve pain, fears of my remaining foot going bad, getting my
blood glucose levels under control, carpal tunnel and shoulder pain, along with
a host of other minor issues. Medically
I’ve been a mess and yet I’ve remained fairly active and have regained much of
my independence. For ten months, I was
able to walk with a prosthetic leg until I developed a hypersensitive nerve in
my residual limb. Since February 2015, I’ve
been in a wheelchair full-time seeking answers and possible solutions to get me
walking again.
Attitude: From the very
start, I’ve been thankful for God deciding to give me extra time here with my
family and friends. I determined that I
would stay positive. I realized that no
one likes to be around angry and bitter people, so I wouldn’t become one. I’ve had to become creative figuring out how
to do things in new and different ways. Determination, persistence, and good
old fashioned hard-headedness have become a part of my daily life. I have an independent streak that pushes me
to do everything that I can do for myself.
I’ve learned how to get me and my wheelchair loaded into my truck by
myself, so I can still go do things and stay active (including taking myself to
most medical appointments). I strive to
remain “wild at heart” and go to the gym, go hunting, and race down my
wheelchair ramp as fast as I can. I’ve
had to purposefully feed my mind good positive, encouraging thoughts. I regularly read my bible and other solid,
uplifting books to keep my mental balance.
I choose to focus upon what I can still do rather than be miserable
focusing upon what I can no longer do.
Overall, I’ve done a good job with my attitude, rarely sinking towards
depression or anger at my situation. I’ve
had to learn about patience at a whole new level. I still struggle asking for help and being
the recipient of others’ help (I’m used to being the guy who helped others). My limitations do frustrate me at times and I
have found it is hard to give up certain things that I used to enjoy (walking
in the fall leaves in the woods, shoveling my own snow, many household chores, holding
down a job, etc.). The extra effort that
it takes to do the simplest tasks is surprising. Because of that I am limited to what I can do
and how often I can do it, needing to rest and recharge between events. The mental battle has been greatest challenge
that I have faced. So far, I am
satisfied with how I’ve done. At times I
could have been better, but overall I think I’ve done well.
Some
Lessons Learned: 1) I’ve been surprised at how long it takes
to fully recover from surgery and hospitalization. I used to think that when
people got out of the hospital that they were fully recovered—now I know
better. 2) It’s true that no matter how
bad I think that I have it, I can easily find someone who has it worst. My struggles are real but many fine people
have significantly greater challenges to face.
3) My recovery and life is officially a marathon and not a sprint. I tend to want to go-go-go. If there are five things on my schedule that
I could do, I want to do six instead. Now I have to pick and choose what I do
and accept that I cannot do it all. My
pace of life has now changed. As my wife
has said, much of my time and energy each day is taken up with the “business of
living” so I can no longer do everything that I want and I certainly cannot do
it at the speed that I want. 4) Life is
good and worth living despite the limitations.
My life isn’t over because I can’t do certain things any longer. I have to learn to enjoy new things and enjoy
the things that I can do just a little bit more. Being satisfied with reality can be difficult
if we don’t like the reality we face. I’m
still in the process of determining all of that! 5) “Everything takes longer than it actually
does.” Medical care often moves at a
snail’s pace. There are many hoops to
jump through and a process that must be followed. We cannot just skip all the middle junk and
go to where we all know this is headed.
That would be cheating! Waiting
for the next appointment that will move you forward is excruciating. It seems like “the better the doctor, the
longer the wait” is true. Try getting
two world-renowned doctors together on the same day can take months of
waiting. Oh, yeah! Patience! I thought that I had learned patience last
year. This year I must have signed up
for the advanced course! 6) I would not have made it this far without my faith
and trust in God. He definitely is my
rock and the anchor of my soul. I would
have been overwhelmed by the events of my life over the last few years without
His constant support and strength to lean upon.
Some people say, “Religion is a crutch.”
Well look at me! I need a crutch
and a prosthesis too! I am not ashamed
to say that I need God to help me each step of the way.
The
Future: Right now, it looks like I will be having
surgery to revise my amputation in an effort to allow me to resume wearing a
prosthetic leg. I should find out about
that at my next appointment in Rochester, MN at the Mayo Clinic on December 9th. I’m guessing that the surgery will be
sometime next spring with a month or two recovery before being fitted with a
new prosthesis (which will mean that I will have spent over twelve months in a
wheelchair). It seems like a long time
since I’ve last walked (Feb 2015). If
this surgery is successful, then I should be walking a couple of months after
it. There is a chance that the surgery
won’t correct the hypersensitive nerve and I may never walk again. Only time will tell. Anyway, we’ll be giving it our best
shot! I’d appreciate your continued
prayers especially for wisdom for the challenges of each new day. I’m grateful for all the support I’ve received
from a multitude of people in a multitude of ways (especially thankful for my
wife and family). Thank you! God bless!
I recently quipped on Face Book: “Since I had my left leg amputated nearly two years ago, I've
got to say that I always start my day off on the right foot.”
The picture is
me practicing shooting my .270 from the truck.
I recently got a handicap permit that makes it legal for me to hunt from
the truck. A landowner has a spot for me
to try this deer season. It is very
strange shooting from a vehicle but the door provides a solid rest to shoot
from.