Saturday (2/20/2016) video

Update:

I had my cataract surgery on Tuesday and the eye seems to be healing nicely.  My vision is vastly improved in my right eye.  The lens they implanted has some corrective power, so the right lens in my glasses was replaced with clear glass as the eye heals.  Without my glasses my distance vision is about the same with both eyes now.  It was very disorienting at first without the trifocal lens on the right side for the computer and reading; but my brain seems to be adjusting.  The most difficult task was walking because I’m used to looking down at the ground through those lens, so I felt unsteady at first.  On Monday most of my restrictions should be removed except for getting water in the eye.  So I won’t be swimming for the next month.  I have follow-up appointments for the next few weeks, especially to watch for uncontrolled swelling following the surgery.  So far--so good.  I’m praying it stays like that!

It’s been 10 days since I’ve gotten my elevated vacuum test socket.  We’ve worked out a number of the rough spots and improved the fit and my walking gait.  I’ve not had the excruciating pain which would stop me from walking so this is considered a win!  However, I still have pain when I walk, similar to having a sprained ankle.  I can absolutely state that my left ankle is not sprained J but that doesn’t keep it from hurting.  I ignore the pain for as long as I can and keep walking.  Hopefully we will continue to make improvements and reduce the pain even further.  Pain while walking isn’t normal for many amputees; but we may not be able to remove it completely because of my special situation. 

Last Thursday (I had the test socket for one week at that time) my prosthetist decided that we would scrap my current socket and make a new one!  We weren’t certain when we started if the elevated vacuum would allow me to walk, so we went with an off the shelf liner and borrowed the vacuum pump.  Now that we know it has potential, we are going all in.  Last Thursday I was cast for a custom liner.  The off the shelf liner was close; but not a perfect match to my leg (especially my thigh) which allowed the system to leak air.  So my new liner will come in about two weeks and then we will recast for a new socket.  The socket and liner have to be a matched pair.  So it will be about three weeks until my latest and greatest, and newest socket comes in. 

I have been able to start doing limited walking, which has been awesome.  My muscles and tendons are slowing getting used to carrying the load again.  It’s nice not to always be tied to the wheelchair.  I still am in it a lot and I have to ride the motorized carts at stores; but I can walk into the stores at least.

Emotionally that is an awesome boost!  I can resume some of the things that were impossible for me to do in the wheelchair.  I don’t know if I will regain full and unlimited use of my leg; but it is a start! 

The attached video gives a glimpse of the elevated vacuum leg which is very different from my last pin lock system.  If you don’t wear a prosthesis you may not think it is too different; but there definitely is a learning curve.  I wore myself out making the video due to numerous takes and then losing my best one after completing the editing, forcing me to reshoot one more time.  This isn’t my best; but it was the best I could manage after so many tries. 

Saturday (2/13/2016)

Update: 

It’s been an interesting couple of days with my new leg.  While I got to wear it home on Thursday, there are still a number of problem areas that need to be resolved.  On the positive side of the ledger, I have not had the excruciating pain in my leg while weight bearing with this prosthesis; but that doesn’t mean that I am without pain or discomfort.  Before I brought the leg home, the most obvious ones were removed; however it is going to take some time, energy, and determination to continue to whittle down the list.  This is a fairly normal occurrence with any new leg; it’s just exasperated a bit by the hyperactive nerve in my leg.  My prosthetist is very pleased with the progress we’ve already made, so there is plenty of hope for the future.

Right now I am able to wear the leg 4-6 hours per day.  Standing isn’t too bad; but putting all my weight on the leg to walk sets off “minor” nerve pain.  I’ve come to understand what real pain is, so I would call this mild to moderate discomfort, sometimes ranging into minor to moderate pain (when compared to the excruciating pain).  It’s the kind of pain where if I am really focused, I can ignore it and keep on going.  Eventually though, it all adds up and I cannot take it anymore.

Some of that isn’t surprising since I haven’t walked in a year.  The first day, my knee joint really ached.  Now on the third day of wearing the prosthesis, I didn’t even notice any discomfort in my knee.  Yesterday, I could only stand to walk to the kitchen and back around the house about once an hour.  Today, I was able to get out and do a couple of very short errands.  So there is good progress being made.

However it is uncomfortable enough that I am wearing the prosthesis because I need to; not because I want to.  My leg is adapting to being under vacuum and being back in a prosthesis.  I am relying heavily upon a cane to take some weight off of the prosthesis; but there are moments where I am walking more normally with little reliance on the cane.

Every hour, I take the leg off to observe my skin to identify pressure points, etc.  I keep a journal of my discoveries and then send the daily log to prosthetist.  She’s contacted me with some suggestions to try at home and others will be addressed at my appointment next Thursday.  So as I said before, good progress is being made; but I still have a long way to go and many appointments with my prosthetist until we get the bugs worked out.

Yesterday, when I was working in the kitchen it was a bit surreal looking down into the refrigerator or looking down at the countertop to see what I was doing.  I remember thinking, “Whoa!  This looks weird!”  I felt like my head was way up in the clouds walking around and seeing things from a much different angle and perspective than I’ve grown accustomed to over the last year.

I am growing more familiar with my new prosthetic leg by taking it on and off every hour.  Think of it like a soldier disassembling and reassembling his weapon over and over.   A prosthetic limb though is not mass produced; it is tailored exactly to the individual and to his limb.  This takes time and energy and a good working relationship with the prosthetist who made and adjusts the leg until it is right.  I was talking with a friend about how hard it is tell my prosthetist what I’m feeling.  After I tell her what I am feeling and what I think is going on, she has to figure out what’s happening and how to fix the issue.  You can liken it to someone who is not mechanical trying to explain to the mechanic what’s wrong with the car.  The mechanic has to interpret what he is being told and then track down the problem and repair it.  Imagine how much more difficult it is if the car doesn’t act up when it is at the garage.  The mechanic only has the owner’s description of what he thinks is going on to base his work on.  That is a good way to describe what I’m doing at this point with my prosthetist.  I appreciate her hard work and look forward to getting this leg just right so I can get back to living and doing the things that I’ve missed. 

Just like the first drive down the field ending in a touchdown, doesn’t mean the football game is over; I’ve got most of the game still ahead of me; but I’ve had a good opening drive.

Thursday (2/11/2016)

Update:

My second fitting of my new prosthesis went well today. And I got to wear my leg home! Now I have to get my muscles, tendons, and knee joint back in shape as I re-adapt to wearing a prosthesis and weight bearing on my residual limb again. I cannot walk very far yet and have to slowly increase my distance as I can tolerate; but I'm out of the wheelchair at least part of each day now! The leg is uncomfortable at times but I'm not having the excruciating pain like I was having before. An elevated vacuum system is much different from the pin system I had before. One difference is that every night I have to plug in my leg to recharge the vacuum system. So I've taken a step in the right direction today!

Monday (2/8/2016)

Thought for the Day:

I love a good story, whether it’s in a book or in a movie.  I’ve found that some books are merely okay and others I can hardly put down because they are so good.  What makes the difference between the two?  Both tell a story; but one is captivating and the other is not.

If you think about the plot of most stories, when we are introduced to our main character we find that he or she has flaws like all of us, but there is a determination or desire that drives them forward against all odds.  The great stories have plot twists and many obstacles to overcome before the story ends.  It isn’t always pretty; in fact it usually gets ugly before the plot is resolved in the final pages.  Often times our hero isn’t equal to the task alone and he gathers people around him who help him accomplish what he could not do alone.

I personally prefer to read a series.  I get involved in the life of the hero and want to keep reading “the next adventure” because I don’t want it to stop.  Great storytellers put all of this together in a package that keeps us interested and hungering for more.  I mean, how boring would it be if nothing ever went wrong and there were no setbacks?  If everything was sunshine and puppies, it wouldn’t end up being a very good read; in fact it would be rather unbelievable.  Everything turned out perfectly?  I don’t think I could identify with that main character.  It would be a rather short story or become boring very quickly as everything easily falls into place time after time again.  Conflict.  Adversity.  Overcoming obstacles.  Surprising plot twists.  All of these add up to a great story.

I was thinking about my own life story, especially over the last couple of years.  Talk about plot twists!  I’ve often wondered why things never seem to go right for me.  Why can’t anything go easily and smoothly?  It’s almost like I’ve stepped into one of the novels that I love so dearly.  I’m the main character in a story about persevering through the struggles of life.  I bet that you feel that way at times also!

This bible verse caught my eye today. 

“Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith…” (Hebrew 12:2 NKJV)

Hmm.  God is writing my faith journey into a story.  God is a great author.  I mean, how good a story would it be if it read, “He decided to trust God and everything in his life went perfectly after that decision”?  A good author just doesn’t tell us that someone had faith.  He demonstrates it by the situations faced and actions taken.  Untested faith isn’t such a compelling story.  So instead, my life has its ups and downs. 

I wish I could say that I was the perfect hero and that I never faltered in my faith and was constantly moving forward; but that just isn’t me.  I hang on the best I can and try to move forward with every step; however I am fallible and weak all too often.  I’ve proven to myself that I cannot be victorious on my own.  I’m just not strong enough.  I need others to encourage and support me.  I need other people’s strength, faith, and determination to carry me through when I feel that I just cannot take another step.  I’m grateful for all the friends and family God has placed in my story to help keep me going!

I noticed one other thing in this verse.  God is not only the author of my faith story; He is the finisher too!  If the conclusion of my faith journey rested upon my own strengths and abilities, I would fail.  But God Himself will see me through!

So on those days when I just don’t know if I have it within me to keep going, that’s okay.  Because even if I don’t—God does.  He knows my story.  He’s writing it after all, so nothing surprises Him.  He won’t write me into a corner that He cannot get me out of.  That is important to remember.  I will get into corners that I cannot get myself out of; but God is more than able to get me through seemingly impossible situations.

One thing that I find comforting about reading a series is that no matter how bad it looks for the hero right now, he obviously gets through his difficulties because there are more books in the series written about him.  There is comfort in knowing that the author is keeping the hero alive.  There is another adventure yet ahead.

I don’t know exactly how my story will end.  I may not like the difficulties and adversities that lie ahead.  It’s going to be rough; and at times it will be ugly.  But that is okay.  God is in the process of writing a great story; one that I personally get to live out and not merely read about.  One thing that has been true in my life is that it hasn’t been boring!  When things go wrong and I don’t think that I have what it takes, I’ll just look to God.  “Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith…” (Hebrew 12:2 NKJV).

Update:

Foot:  I had a bit of a scare over the weekend.  Thursday evening as I went to bed I realized that my right foot hurt.  I wasn’t certain what I had done; but it wasn’t supposed to be hurting like it was.  I lost my left foot due to complications from a Charcot incident.  My doctors have been worried from day one that I will lose my remaining foot due to another incident.  As I understand it, the bones weaken and catastrophically break down which eventually lead to an amputation.  That is why I wear a special orthotic in my shoe to help support my foot.  That is why I’ve had so many restrictions on how many steps I can walk and what I can and cannot do.  That’s why I use a wheelchair and am not supposed to hop or use crutches.  The doctors want me to keep my remaining foot (and I do too).

So when I have “bone pain” in my foot it is a serious thing.  I have had some aches and pains in the past and I’ve gotten x-rays and exams to determine if there are any breaks.  So far I’ve had a couple of false alarms.  I take it easy and after a while the pain subsides.  I’m supposed to take any pain seriously; but also look for the other signs of Charcot: redness, swelling, and hot to touch along with the pain.

When I first experienced the pain, my thoughts immediately went to “What poor timing!”  After being in a wheelchair for over a year, I very well might be on the verge of walking again in another week or two and then this happens.  I could be put in a boot and told to stay off of my foot for quite some time which would effectively shut down any attempt to walk!  The prospect of having even more restrictions or my right leg amputated also entered my mind.  So I closely watched my foot all weekend.  Late on Sunday afternoon the pain diminished and the redness went away.  Today on Monday morning other body aches and pains are obvious but the foot discomfort is barely discernable.  Whew!  I’ve seemed to have dodged a bullet on this one.  Yeah!  Thank you, God!

One thing that this event does is encourage me to be a good patient and follow my doctor’s orders closely.  I am the poster child of compliance!

It does concern me that I don’t really know what caused this event.  The only thing I can think of is that I went swimming during the day on Thursday.  Perhaps I over did it standing on my foot in the pool (obviously no orthotic on while I’m in the water).  It’s all a mystery to me and just “normal” part of my sometimes crazy life.  Consequently, I’ve been staying off my foot as much as possible (including not going to the gym to work out which is driving me a little stir crazy). 

Eye: I go in next Tuesday for cataract surgery on my right eye.  The doctors have held off removing the cataract for the last two years because with my other eye problems there is an increased possibility that I will go blind in the right eye after surgery.  I was told that since there is the increased risk that I would go blind in that eye following cataract surgery, I should wait until I am already blind in the eye due to the cataract, that way I haven’t really lost anything if it happens.  Instead I’m praying that my eye will be fine and my cataract will be gone so my vision improves drastically.  I’ll be happy to be rid of the glare, blurriness, and eye strain of attempting to look through the cataract. 

I’m also on the third different eye medication being tried in my monthly eye injections for my macular edema.  I think this one has really helped.  I’ll find out for certain this afternoon as I go in for evaluation and another injection.  This last month was the first time in two years of injections that the doctor said we could skip the left eye injection; perhaps we’ll be able to go longer between injections from now on. 

Prosthesis:  Later this week, I’ll be going in for the first fitting with my new elevated vacuum leg.  We tried a concept socket two weeks ago that seemed to work.  So my prosthetist ordered the parts had an actual test socket made for me.  I don’t know if it will fit well enough to take it home this week or if it will be another week or two of tweaking before it’s ready.  I’m pretty excited about the possibility of walking again!  I know that after being in a wheelchair for over a year, despite my exercise routine that I’ll have a long ways to go to rebuild my strength so that I can stand and walk for any length of time.

I’ve got plenty going on in the next few weeks!  Exciting times as I see how the next chapter in my life story develops!  I appreciate your prayers and thoughts for me.  They mean a lot to me.