Saturday (3/8/2014)

Update:

On Friday I got ready and went into my church office to work during the morning; that felt good and I got a number of things accomplished (but never as much as I would wish).

I had enough joints, tendons, and muscles aching that I decided to take a day off from exercises; I’ve been pushing pretty hard and I didn’t want to injure myself.  It felt funny not to work out, but everything feels better now that I gave it a full day’s rest.

About 12:30 p.m. I headed into Altoona.  On Thursday night I saw a commercial for McDonald’s Mighty Wings.  They had them for a while and I really liked them and then they discontinued them (they also seem to cancel all the TV shows that I like too).  The commercial made me hope they had returned to our local restaurant; and they had!!  So I bought some and went over to my son David’s office and we ate lunch together. Yum!

I then went over to the Altoona Police and Fire Department to drop some paperwork off and to pick up a few items that I needed.  I had the opportunity to meet the newly hired Lieutenant and got to see the Chief and another officer for a few minutes.

I headed home to take off my silicone liner.  I had worn it for 6½ hours and I needed to take it off for a while.   Right at the top of my thigh, my leg has been itching like the liner was chaffing there.  I got thinking about how dry my hands have become since I am washing the liner, my sheaths, and my leg several times a day.  And I wondered if I needed to put lotion on my thigh after washing it.  Maybe it is just being dried out by the additional washing it is getting.  I can’t immediately put the liner back on after lotion; it has to absorb into the skin so it doesn’t coat the liner.  But I got it covered.  So far, it seems to have helped.  We’ll see if that helps long term.

I’ve been working (on Friday evening) on the memorial service that will be held at the church on Saturday morning.  I think I’ve got worked out what I need to say and how to say it.  Now all I have to do is get it down on paper before I forget what I want to say.

Friday night, I tried to sleep on my side, which has been my life long position until the amputation.  First the right, then the left, neither ended up working for me.  I even tried on my stomach.  Nothing worked.  All I got from it was sore shoulders and wasted time when I could have been asleep on my back.  Oh well!  I have such fond memories of sleeping on my side—but currently that is all they are.

After the memorial service on Saturday, I will head home and work on Sunday’s message.  I know where that is going but I need to get some words down on paper for that one too and work on the PowerPoint for it.

Saturday evening I will be packing.  I will be attending a conference in Janesville, WI from early Monday morning through Wednesday afternoon.  I’ll be heading down to Janesville on Sunday afternoon (about 200 miles).  This will be my first big solo outing since my amputation.  I’ve always packed “like a girl” but now it will be more like “the circus is coming to town.”  I’ll need my wheelchair, walker, shower stool, shrinker sock and sheaths (I’ll wear my silicone liner), my insulin and glucose meter and enough supplies besides my clothes and normal stuff that I’ll need.  Karen will help me pack and think through everything on Saturday evening so I won’t have to worry about it on Sunday.

The conference is regional training being held by the International Conference of Police Chaplains (ICPC--the Police Chaplain organization that I belong to).  One of the classes I will be taking is a two-day course on Pastoral Crisis Intervention 2 (CISM).  On the third day I have several smaller classes that I will be taking.  This is continuing education for me as a chaplain and as a pastor.  I’ve looked forward to this conference for two years (usually they are held in Indiana—so it is great to have it here in my own backyard).

With that said, I am not certain that I will have the time and energy to write any Updates or Thoughts while I am gone.  Since I usually don’t publish on Sunday anyway, you probably won’t hear from me from Sunday until Thursday morning (3/13).

Thanks for your prayers as I take this solo trip.

Thought for the Day:

I read an excerpt from a book entitled, 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying' by Bronnie Ware.  It isn’t a Christian book, but the message is a powerful reminder of what is really important in life.  Bronnie served as a nurse providing palliative care for dying patients.  Here is what she observed as the Top 5 Regrets:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

As you might expect, these findings all deal with relationships and finding personal satisfaction in life and not about accomplishments, achievements and possessions.  A fairly common thread that is woven throughout the book is the need to take time for family and friends and to not be consumed with working to provide more material things. 

The truth is much of our adult life is consumed with working and providing support for ourselves and our families.  There is nothing wrong with that; but it can be a slippery slope where we become consumed with acquiring more and better things.  On their deathbeds, most people seem to realize that it would have been better to be satisfied with less stuff and instead focus on enjoying life and spending time with the people you love.  If you’ve got a job that you enjoy—that is awesome; but don’t sacrifice your family time in pursuit of your career.  In the long run you’ll discover that it was a misplaced priority if you don’t.

One of the dangers in life is that we think that we have more time.  “After I retire, I’ll spend time with my family” (or I’ll travel, do the hobby I’ve always wanted to do, etc.).  Often times our health robs us of those opportunities.  Death usually doesn’t make reservations; it comes knocking at inopportune and unexpected times. 

Jesus spoke about the reality of time running out before we expect it to do so:

Luke 12:16-23   “And he [Jesus] told them this parable: ‘The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest.  He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.'  ‘Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain.  And I'll say to myself, ‘You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.’  ‘But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?'  ‘This is how it will be with those who store up things for themselves but are not rich toward God.’  Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.  Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.’”

Jesus uses a parable about a typical person’s perspective on life to teach us about what is truly important.  We tend to get so caught up in the physical world of possessions and things that we forget about the importance of relationship—specifically a relationship with God.  When you are dead it is too late to do anything about a broken or failed relationship that you neglected over the years.  It is the same with God.  When your life is over it is too late.  Make your peace with God before disaster strikes.  Take time now to begin building a relationship with God.  Jesus calls it, “being rich towards God.”

Mark 8:36-37   “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?  For what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?”

Friday (3/7/2014)

Update:

I’m working through sore muscles and a slight rash on my leg.  I figured out what caused the rash and I’ve taken steps to allow it to heal.  Then on Thursday night, my silicone liner started to chaff a bit at the top edge; I took it off as soon as I figured out what was happening.  My leg felt better instantly.  I’ve increased the time I can wear it substantially; but I obviously need to be careful not to push it too far too fast.  Slow and steady wins the race. 

I am not certain exactly what has caused my sore muscles since I added some new exercises and increased the number of repetitions and resistance on some others.  I want to keep working at strengthening my muscles, but I also need to be careful not to overdo it and injure myself when I am so very close to walking again.  So while I want to push forward, I’ll have to ease off and take it a bit easier.  Sounds easy enough, but this racehorse wants to run!!!

Along with the weather, Dick Krueger and my son, Jon, got the ice removed on my ramp, sidewalk and part of the driveway so I am able to get out on my own and go places again.  That’s good because I need to get a few errands done and spend some time working at the church on Friday.  Thanks, guys!  I am extremely grateful for the warmer weather, so that I am not housebound by snow and ice.  Thank you, God!

On Thursday night, I spent an hour at the county jail sharing my testimony with 15 men.  Wilford said I did a good job.  Sometimes after I speak, I think to myself, “I should have said this” or “I forgot to mention that.”  Last night I didn’t have any of those regrets afterwards.  So either I did a good job or I am totally unaware of reality.  Mmmm?? 

Thought for the Day: 

One of my new daily routines is foot and stump care.  Each day I need to carefully look over my stump and my remaining foot for any signs of sores or wounds of any kind.  If I have any unusual pains or redness I need to carefully watch the site and call in my observations.  Catching things early before much damage is done speeds up the treatment and healing process.  I am certain it would be an entertaining video to watch me trying to get the light just right while using a mirror to see the bottom of my foot and in between my toes.

Pain is usually our first line of defense against aggravating an injury.  Your foot begins to hurt and you realize that you’ve got a rock in your shoe that needs to be removed.  Our bodies are programed to automatically respond to pain at certain levels.  Touch something hot and you jerk your hand back and immediately want to treat the burn to stop the pain.  When you sprain your ankle, it creates enough pain that we naturally stay off the foot as much as possible giving it time to heal.  If you think about it, even the symptoms of a cold or flu serve the purpose of forcing you to get the rest you need so that your body can heal.   Pain is a good thing. 

John Maxwell says, “People change when they hurt enough that they have to, learn enough that they want to, or receive enough that they are able to.”

Without pain, we won’t change.  Sometimes we will wishfully sit and dream about how things would be better if they were different; but we usually won’t actually do anything about it until we are hurting bad enough to force a change.  That’s true whether it is a physical difficulty, relationship trouble, or emotional problem.  Unless there is enough pain to force us to cry out; we don’t do anything to change and find relief.  So thank God for pain.  It is an effective early warning system and a great motivator for improvement.

Matthew 8:2-3    A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean."  Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy.

Leprosy was a scourge in biblical times.  One aspect of the disease is that it affects the nerve endings so that people cannot feel pain, resulting in sores and wounds that went unattended to an alarming degree.  Fearing the spread of the disease, lepers were cast out of society; unable to interact with others socially.  They were restricted from living in town and having free contact with others.  If they ventured outside of their compound, they were required to loudly announce, “Unclean!  Unclean!” so that people would not be exposed to the disease accidentally.  No church. No family visits. No physical touch to comfort or console.  Just isolation and distance from everything and everybody along with a disfiguring disease that was without cure.  It was a sad, hopeless situation to be in.

One of the startling things about Jesus’ ministry to lepers He encountered is that He touched them.  It easily could have been years since they had been physically touched by any one.  Without fear and with great compassion Jesus reaches out and puts a hand of comfort upon them.  Wow! That had to be a wonderful blessing to them.  It is especially powerful picture of compassion when you remember that Jesus didn’t have to touch them.  He could have cleansed them from a distance with a word (in fact He did in Luke 17:12).  But Jesus cared deeply for those who were hurting and helpless and needed the assistance that only He could offer.

So to wrap this up…  Pain is our friend because it motivates us to change and to find healing.  It encourages us grow and develop and not accept the status quo.  Pain often will almost force us to cry out to God for relief because often there is no other place that we can turn to for help.  As we draw closer to God we find that He is compassionate upon those who call to Him.  You may currently be a position where it seems that there is no hope and no way out.  You may feel trapped and be without resources. 

They say the “necessity is the mother of invention” and “pain is the motivation for change.”  I encourage you to listen to your pain and allow it to create a desire and even the necessity to make some changes for the better in your life.  If you are wise you will listen to the little whispers of pain and not wait until pain is shouting to get your attention.  Don’t automatically reject pain and don’t be satisfied with merely covering over the symptoms—get to the cause and find a cure.

Thursday (3/6/2014)

Update:

I spent Wednesday morning in an Elders’ meeting at Mel’s house.  While I was fixing myself lunch at home, my daughter, Ruth, from Chicago called.  We talked over her lunch break.  I took off my silicone liner, washed it and my leg and then put the shrinker sock on.  Answered some emails.  My sons, David and Jon, came over and got some of the ice off of the sidewalk but couldn’t get the driveway ice to bust yet.  They filled the wood rack for me and then raided the freezer for some pizzas (a small price to pay for the work they did).  After I put my silicone liner back on, I sat and talked with them while they ate.  They hadn’t been gone for 15 minutes when Karen got home and we made dinner.  I watched “Chicago Fire” and then did my exercises.  And that was the sum of my day. 

I cannot wait until I can go to the office each day and enjoy simple pleasures like picking up the mail, go out to the garage, etc.  I’ve spent way too much time alone in my house recently for my own comfort level.  So I enjoyed the interaction time that I had with everyone today; that made the day go by faster! 

On Thursday, I need to make good progress on Sunday’s message and do some work on a memorial service that will take place on Saturday at my church.  Thursday evening, I will be speaking to a group of inmates at the Eau Claire County Jail.  My goal will be to encourage the men to rise above adversity, keep a positive mental outlook, and maintain a deep faith and dependence upon God. 

Thought for the Day:

2 Corinthians 1:6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.

Did you know that others are watching to see how you will respond to certain stressors in your life? This is especially true if you call yourself a Christian.  People want to see what you are made of and how you will respond.  If you are in a position of leadership or in the public eye, there will be people who will take a cue on how they should respond based upon how you are responding.  In the fire service, newer firefighters will look to see how their lieutenants are reacting to an incident.  People in crisis will often look to see how their pastor is responding to the situation.  It is as if they instinctively mimic their leader’s faith, confidence or courage.

A leader can only assist others based upon the experience they personally have.  It doesn’t mean that they’ve had to undergo the EXACT circumstances before; but they need to have some seasoning and personal familiarity to what is going on.  You would want your fire officers to have some experience in actually putting out fires or responding to an accident scene with injuries.  Similarly, you would want your pastor to have experienced some faith-building events in his life, so you know that it isn’t just a bunch of words.

One of the big events like that in my life was when my youngest daughter was a toddler and was ill.  We were at the hospital with her and the doctors had just informed us that there was a very high probability that she would die within the next hour. My wife and I prayed, releasing her into God’s hands.  It was the hardest thing, I’d ever prayed.  Trusting God to both heal her and restore her to me, OR to take her life so that she could be with Him.  I am so glad that God allowed Ruth to live.  She has been a joy and blessing to my life and many others as well.  One of our nurses was a member of the congregation that I pastored at the time.  She mentioned how difficult an experience that was.  I remember responding something along the lines of “I’ve experienced events like that as a pastor, helping other families through it; but it is much different when it is your own child.”

I can see that many of the tough times that I’ve gone through in the past few years have made me a better person and a better pastor.  I’ve gained personal insight into what it means to watch a parent suffer illness and die; to see a loved one lose everything to Alzheimer’s; to undergo a life-changing illness and operation; to be housebound and dependent upon other people as an adult; etc.  I’ve heard it said that “difficult times will either make you better or bitter.”  I’ve chosen the route to hopefully allow them to make me better.

As a believer, you might have gone through some similar difficult times.  Those faith-stretching events are actually beneficial because they can become faith-building events.  Like muscles that grow in response to exercise, so our faith and trust in God grows as we have opportunity to see Him in action.

I can look back on my life and see a number of events that now act as sign posts or monuments to God’s faithfulness to me.  As I look to the road ahead, I don’t know what is around the next curve.  But as I check my rear view mirror, I am reminded how God has been with me through all sorts of events, so no matter what the future brings—I know that it will be okay because God will be there with me. 

Take some time to think about your own life.  What events have happened to you where you know God was present and helped you through them?  Look for your own signposts and monuments of God’s faithfulness.  If you don’t see any in your rearview mirror, then look over at me and take courage and comfort.  “God has obviously made a difference in Steve’s life; well then, I can believe that God can make a difference in mine.”  By learning to trust God in times of trouble, you’ll soon have developed your own signposts and monuments and your faith will grow.  Others will see how God has been active in your life and take hope and comfort from your story.  And so faith continues to grow and spread…

2 Corinthians 1:6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.

Lord, thank you for seeing me through all the events that have occurred in my life so far.  When I encounter another stressful event, remind me of all the times that You’ve been there for me before.  Give me the faith to trust You once again for whatever I face.  After it is all behind me, use me to encourage others to place their faith in you as well and to give them comfort for whatever they face.  AMEN.

Wednesday (3/5/2014)

Update:

I am so glad for the warmer weather.  I hope that the snow and ice begins to disappear off of my driveway so that I can regain my freedom.  On Monday, I had a hard time finding a place where my foot wouldn’t slip when I tried to stand up.  Karen actually had to move the car to a different spot before I could safely transfer from my wheelchair to the car.  Getting out is just not worth the risk of me slipping and injuring myself; so I’ve been staying home.  It is hard after having a taste of freedom a couple of weeks ago.  Oh well, I know that the ice and snow will soon be off my driveway.  I just need to be patient.

Wearing the silicone liner for long periods of time isn’t a problem.  It is very comfortable and I was told that very few people have trouble adjusting to it.  When I take it off, my leg is rather gross and sweaty; so I have to wash my leg with warm water and soap before I put my shrinker sock back on.  If my leg gets like that when it is relatively cold outside, what will it be like this summer?  Now I understand why all the instructions tell you to wash your leg, and the inside of the silicone liner, etc. every day.  It won’t be hard to remember that it needs to be done.

I’ve noticed that getting ready for bed and then getting ready for the day both take longer now.  I started my routine earlier last night but the sleep monster was grabbing at me pretty hard by the time I actually made it to bed.  Right now it feels like one minute I am wide awake and the next minute I can’t keep my eyes open.  The positive thing is that I don’t lie in bed tossing and turning unable to get to sleep!  “Good Nig...Zzzzz” and my head hits the pillow.  So far I’ve managed to get my light turned off before I go to sleep; but it wouldn't surprise me if some morning I wake up and find the lights on.

I found out that trying to squeeze your shoulder blades together when you do other exercises must be an acquired skill. I feel very uncoordinated and unsuccessful trying to do it right now.  I guess whatever I do will be better than nothing at all. 

Last night I made “Mock Mash Potatoes.”  They are actually made with beans so there is no starch.  I’ve had trouble with adding too much “Better Than Bullion” to the recipe and they come out too salty tasting.  Last night it happened again.  What is going on?  So I decided to make a note to myself in the cookbook “Use ½ amount of bullion” or something like that.  Just as I was about to write it in, I noticed the recipe called for 1 Tsp. not 1 Tbl.  Now I get it!  I’ve been putting in a tablespoon of bullion instead of a teaspoon.  What’s that like three times as much as called for—no wonder they are so salty!  People who write cookbooks should spell the words out or only capitalize Tablespoon and not teaspoon for use by the “measuring handicapped” (That’s what I am—I even have one leg shorter than the other!  So one leg doesn’t “measure up”).  What is so hilarious is that there are two other items marked the same exact way (Tsp.) and I’ve always read those as teaspoons; but for some reason when I see bullion, I read tablespoon!?!

Thought for the Day:

My buddy Mel is feeling some better after his surgery, so our Elder team will be gathering at his house on Wednesday morning for a meeting.  It is rather strange how I feel when I compare my situation to Mel’s.  He’ll never walk again.  He will always be wheelchair bound.  I’ll be up and walking soon with a prosthetic leg.  I’ll need a wheelchair only a small part of the time.  At this point, almost all of my old activities and hobbies are potentially possible for me to regain.  There will be some limitations, but I’ll get many if not most of them back in some fashion.  I know that I will never be able to take out the trash or wash dishes ever again with my disability (Okay, I made that last sentence up; but maybe I can sell it to my wife!). It may take me time to acquire enough proficiency with my leg to do them; but I can look forward to a time when it may be.  My buddy Mel; not so. Hopefully as he overcomes the pain issue he has been having, he will be able to do more…but many things are gone and will remain gone forever.

I’ve got to say that it bothers me at times to think about these things.  I feel almost guilty for where my life is heading knowing that Mel cannot make that journey with me.  Maybe that is how people feel when they look at me.  Although I fine with what has happened and what I’ll be facing for the rest of my life; some people I know seem to struggle with it all.  They are more upset with it than I have ever been.  I’ve accepted that this is God’s plan for my life and I am grateful to be here at all and I get a second chance to enjoy life still.  My life isn’t perfect; but it wasn’t perfect before my amputation either.  So why get distraught over it all? 

From what I can tell this is the same attitude that Mel has.  Like me, I would guess that he has his moments at times; but he has a very positive outlook overall.  I’m glad that both of us have a faith in God to rely upon and someone to turn to when we are not on top of everything.  In my life, it really is a God thing.  My attitude isn’t forced or contrived.  I really am grateful and content (except that I want winter to be over very badly).   But with Mel’s condition, it seems much more unfair.  If it was temporary—OK; but a permanent disability and limitations—that is so unfair.  So when I watch him work through these things with faith and integrity, it inspires and encourages me.  He has told me that my attitude and outlook, inspires him; so we have a bit of a perpetual motion machine going on here. 

The only thing that I can cling to is my faith in God.  If you stop and read through the bible, there are numerous times when people are hurting or have witnessed a great tragedy and they question God, “How long, oh Lord?”  As people we question things that don’t seem right.  We struggle against injustice and things that don’t seem fair.  Why should good people or young children have to struggle with trauma in their lives? Over and over again God is questioned about these things.  The answer they are given doesn’t seem to satisfying until you think about it.  Most answers given are on the lines of, “I am God.”  What?  How does that answer the problem of evil and pain and suffering?  “I am God.” 

And finally it hits me.  God is infinite, I am finite.  He is limitless; I am very limited.  He knows everything down to the smallest detail; I know a few things moderately well—and most things I barely understand.  He is all-powerful, all-loving, patient and merciful.  All that being said, even if God were to try to explain it to me—I would never be able to comprehend what He was talking about.  It is enough to remember that He knows and that He is able.  It isn’t exactly the answer I was hoping for—but it is the answer I needed to hear.

Maybe nothing that I wrote makes any sense (or it seems rather pointless); but I find trying to express my thoughts on paper very therapeutic.  “Hi!  I am Steve…and I have a leg problem…”   And the group answers in response, “Hi, Steve!”  Thanks for being there for me, group!

Tuesday (3/4/2014)

Update:

Wow!  Monday was a day of great progress towards walking again.

My first appointment on Monday was with my Physiatrist—Dr. Schmidt.  We reviewed my progress and what the next few steps would be.  Most of the time spent with her today was reviewing my exercise program and then refining it.  Instead of so many sit-ups (I am doing 2 sets of 25 each 3 times per week) she wants me to do more crunches.  She said those work the abdominal muscles more than the sit-ups.  Then I also need to do a number of my exercises while I squeeze my shoulder blades together.  That will help strengthen the mid-trapezius muscles.  I am already doing plenty of exercises to work the upper part of that muscle.  I also have to increase the amount of time I am standing to strengthen the hip area.  One major caution was to not to not injure my shoulder or hip joints, tendons, muscles.  If I do, I will have to wait for those to heal before I can walk with a prosthesis.  I will find out exactly how and how much energy it will take in just a couple of weeks.  So she advised me to tone down some of the things I was doing and step up a few others.  That means a good portion of exercising this week will be mental and working things out.  “How exactly do you squeeze your shoulder blades together while doing a push-up?”

My second appointment of the day was with Leah, my prosthetist.  On Monday she made a cast of my leg to use in fabricating my prosthesis.  We started off putting on the silicone liner that I will always wear with my prosthesis.  It reminds me of wet suit for scuba diving.  It goes all the way up my leg to my mid-thigh.  The liner is kind of sticky or tacky on the inside. I am supposed to wear it at least six hours on Tuesday; then 7½ hours on Wednesday; nine hours on Thursday, etc. until I am wearing it all day.  With that on, my stump will never get cold during the winter!  Before bedtime, I have to hand-wash it each night so it can dry overnight.  While I sleep, I will wear the shrinker sock and nylon sheaths.  The nylon sheath has to be hand-washed and hung out to dry each morning. 

After showing me how to don the silicone liner, Leah wrapped it with Saran wrap (so the plaster cast would slide off my leg when it was finished), and then covered it with a thin cloth sock.  She marked on the cloth where my bones were (knee cap, tibia, etc.).  She took some measurements (length, widths at different points, etc.) and then began to plaster my leg, making certain that it was all tight to my leg.  After the plaster dried, she slid the cast off of my leg. She’ll fill that with plaster and make adjustments based upon areas that she wants tight for support or looser so that it doesn’t rub on my bones.  After she makes the necessary adjustments, the plaster leg gets sent down to Rochester, MN for fabrication.  She gets my prosthetic leg back and adds the hardware and make certain that my new foot fits well within my shoe. 

Watch an 8-minute video of the process:

On Monday, March 17^th I have my next appointment where I put on my leg for the first time and take my first step.  The day is coming soon!!!    After that I have a series of appointments for training in walking and making numerous adjustments so that the leg works just the way it should. 

Thought for the Day:

Sometimes life seems overwhelming.  We look at our schedule and we think, “This is impossible!”  By the end of the day we have run out of time and energy; but not out of things that should be done. We are at the end of our rope and people keep putting additional demands upon us.  We don’t think we can take one more thing and the car breaks down on the way to work or the tire blows out.  We think to ourselves, “Can one more thing possibly go wrong?”  And we find out, “Yes, it can!”

Or maybe what overwhelms you is physical pain.  The level of our pain can easily overwhelm us.  We can tolerate some pain, but if it is constant, if there is no relief or end of it in sight, or if it reaches a certain level, we come unglued.  Pain can stop us in our tracks and it can bring us to tears. 

No matter whom you are or how strong you are; life will get the better of you on occasion and you become overwhelmed.  You might be able to do something with your schedule and cut back on some of your activities; but there isn’t much you can do about your pain.  We may be able to tough it out for a while but eventually we cry, “Uncle!” hoping for relief.

We cry out to God for Him to rescue us from our situation.  Sometimes He does.  Sometimes He does not.  Sometimes the storm breaks and warm sunshine breaks through to our lives; sometimes it just keeps on storming.

What relief can we hope for?  Warren Wiersbe writes, “God never promised to pamper and shelter His people.  He did promise to strengthen us for the battle and help us to win the victory. ‘Do not pray for easy lives,’ said Phillips Brooks.  ‘Pray to be stronger men.  Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers.  Pray for powers equal to your tasks.’  The apostle John echoed that admonition when he wrote, ‘This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith’ (1 John 5:4) [Looking Up When Life Gets You Down].

1 Corinthians 16:13     “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.”

Lord, we ask that you would calm the wind and cause the storms in our lives to be still.  But we accept that sometimes that is not what will happen despite how much we desire it or for how long we pray.  In those times of extended struggle, give us the strength, the courage, and the tenacity to bear up under it.  Give us wisdom to know how to lessen the load to whatever extent it is possible.  Strengthen us for the battle and help us to win the victory, no matter what we face.  AMEN

Monday (3/3/2014)

Update:

Saturday went as expected except that I actually got everything done that I wanted including get my clothes ironed for Sunday, taking a shower, and baking some of my approved “cookies.”

Sunday morning went well at church.  Karen had to leave super early so I elected to sleep in a little later and then cook my own breakfast.  I managed to do an acceptable job—although Karen’s breakfast tastes much better!  Getting things organized before worship at church, I noticed that the offering plates were at the back of the platform on the floor.  The musicians were in the middle of practice and I didn’t want to interrupt them, so I rolled up to the platform, slide out of the wheelchair and crawled across the platform to get the plates.  I think it kind of shocked them to see me do it; so I guess I disrupted their practice anyway.  One of them said, “All you had to do was ask…”  My response was, “If I can do it myself, why should I ask for help?”

Randy was gone with our teens on the retreat, so I did the children’s message for him.  Randy and the kids normally sit on the steps of the platform.  I decided that if I stayed in my chair, the kids would be behind me, so I slipped out of the chair, crawled to the center of the platform stairs and then called the kids up.  I noticed that I got the attention of all the adults present!  Except for the musicians, no one in the church has seen me out of the wheelchair since November. 

After lunch I rode with Dean Mischke in the hills somewhere past Mondovi.  He needed to drop off a trailer at the sawmill where he is having walnut trees cut into lumber.  The back roads were ice-covered but I was very comfortable with the way Dean drove. 

Karen and I spent the evening together snuggled in at home.

Now Monday morning it’s -25 outside heading for a high of 12.  Tomorrow begins a warming trend and we’ll have highs around 30 later this week.  That will feel so very good!  Come on sunshine; melt the ice off of my driveway and ramp!

Today on Monday, I have a doctor’s appointment with my Physiatrist (physical rehab doctor) and then I get my leg cast by the Prosthetist so she can begin building my new leg.  As she so aptly put it, “You can tell your congregation that their pastor is going to get ‘plastered’ today!” 

Thought for the Day:

One of the greatest needs that we have is to be valuable to someone else.  We long for a relationship that is important to each one of us.  Most of us find that in a marriage relationship.  The husband and the wife have a mutual love for one and seek to demonstrate how important the other person is to them.  Unfortunately in our human frailty we often fail to demonstrate this appropriately.  Sometimes we are so focused upon our own needs, wants, and desires that we fail to consider those same three things from our spouse’s point of view.  I think that even at its best a marriage will never completely fulfill the longing that we have to be loved and appreciated.

I think that is part of the reason why we see so many failed marriages.  People entered to marriage with the expectation that it would fulfill all of their relational needs and instead they find that it falls short.  We naturally assume that it must be our partner’s fault and so we break off the relationship and try it again with someone else.  Many people will try that over and over again looking for “the perfect mate” only to be disappointed again and again.  The problem isn’t the institution, nor necessarily in our spouse (although sometimes it might be).  The problem isn’t entirely our own fault either (although sometimes it might be).  The problem is that we are expecting too much out of a relationship between two failed human beings.  As wonderful as marriage is when it is good and right—it still falls short of the ideal that we long for.

There is only one source that is consistently able to supply what we truly need; and that is God Himself.  He created us with a need for relationship.  The greatest privilege that He offers us is a relationship with Him through faith in Jesus Christ.  He cares for us; He truly does. He watches over us.  He studies us.  He listens to us.  God desires for our relationship to be strong and healthy.

Here is a quick reminder of how much God values you:

 Luke 12:6-7     “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.  Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

When you think that nobody cares; that no one remembers you; take comfort in knowing you are not forgotten by God.  He knows things about you that no one else knows.  His knowledge is so vast and comprehensive that a common sparrow cannot die without God knowing about it.  And God values you and me more than a mere bird.  We are truly important to Him so don’t despair if you think that no one cares and loves you.  God does.

So how should we respond?  I thought about how casual I am about my relationship with God.  He loves me fully and completely and often times that is the depth to which I ignore Him.  Just like a wife may wish for her husband to spend time with her, listen to her thoughts, and interact with her.  So we should spend time with God in worship, in bible reading, and in prayer. 

Isn’t it ironic that we might be desperately longing for a deeper, more satisfying relationship, when that is exactly what God desires to have with us, and we ignore Him?

Isaiah 55:6   “Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near.”

Psalm 145:18   “The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”

James 4:8   “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”

Saturday (3/1/2014)

Update:

Seven pastors from my denomination gathered together for a luncheon meeting at my church on Friday.  Some of the guys I had not seen for quite some time.  I enjoyed our time together and appreciated them all making the drive.

I stayed at the church working the rest of the afternoon until after our teens left for the Youth Group Retreat at Arrowhead Bible Camp.  It got pretty noisy and there was lots of energy while they were at the church until they departed.  I was glad to hear that they made it safely to camp with the roads being slick with new snow.  I know that they will come home on Sunday afternoon tired from the winter fun and challenged by the time spent in worship and the study of God’s word.

I made it home in time to see my sons, David and Jon, while they were carrying wood to the basement for our wood stove.  I appreciate my boys taking the time to keep the wood rack filled for me.  I know that they thought they had escaped that chore when they left home; we’ll see how it goes for next year.  By then I might be able to fill the wood rack for myself. 

My son, Joshua, had recorded some video of me doing my exercises.  I worked on editing it on Friday night for a while.  I’ve got more work to do on it before it is ready to share;  I’m cutting it down to under five minutes so that people can get a taste of what I’ve been doing. 

Saturday is going to be filled with preparation for Sunday morning.  I’ve got my Sunday School class to prepare for as well as the message.  With Randy gone on the Youth Retreat, I’ll be giving the Children’s Message as well; that will take some thought to come up with something appropriate.  I’ll get my exercises in and if I have time I’ll work on editing the exercise video too.

I am looking forward to the more moderate temperatures next week.  Hopefully some of the ice will melt off of my driveway and ramp so I can get out on my own again.  I feel a little housebound; but I don’t want to risk slipping and hurting myself.  I am so close to walking again; I would have a hard time emotionally if I did something to myself and I had to wait another few months to heal before I would be ready again.  So I’m playing it safe at home. 

Thought for the Day:

How well do you treat others?  Are you polite to those who are nice and rude to those who are not? 

I work with police officers as a chaplain and while I ride along with them there are times when I am amazed at the professional courtesy that they demonstrate to those who are angry and verbally abusive to them.  They are firm but polite even when the person they are communicating with is not.  They often see humanity at its worst and yet they are charged with treating everyone they come in contact with professional courtesy.  They epitomize the phrase we’ve all heard, “Treat others as you would like to be treated.”

I know that there are some people who are easy to be nice to; you want to go the extra mile to help them out; while there are others that we would love to treat them as they deserve—and give them an “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.”

We come in contact with all sorts of people all day long and each of them should receive our kindness and be treated politely even if they don’t really deserve it. 

Matthew 25:40 “And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’”

The bible tells us that with whatever fashion we treat others, God sees as how we are treating Him.  If you do an act of kindness; it is the same as doing that for Jesus Himself. That is motivational, isn’t it?  I have no problem treating Jesus with kindness and respect. 

I also notice that it doesn’t say only treat nice people nicely.  People’s attitudes or actions towards us should not cause us to change how we treat them.  That can be tough to do at times; but it is the proper thing to do.

When I think on these words, I also am reminded to treat everybody with respect.  Certain people seem invisible to us; the homeless person we encounter on the street, the individual busing tables at the restaurant, the person who cleans the floors at the motel or in the hospital, etc.  Do you greet this people with “Hello” and demonstrate common courtesy to them?  We should.  They are important as people and worthy of our respect.

Matthew 7:12    “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”