Update:
I did a hard workout on Monday with weights and stretching. The hardwood floor where I work out was
pretty dirty with us tracking in snow, etc. all the time. So I spent some time cleaning the floor
before I did exercises. At that point I
realized that I needed to get a mop to clean the floor with for the next time. This morning (Tuesday), my left hand is a bit
numb which makes typing a challenge. I
probably overdid the weights on my left shoulder yesterday. I’ve dislocated my left shoulder a couple of
times when I was in my 20’s and 30’s.
Since then if I overuse the left arm, it goes numb for up to a day or
two. I try to find the balance between
pushing myself for growth and pushing it too hard. Apparently I pushed too hard yesterday.
Karen was going to be gone with play practice all afternoon and evening
on Monday, so David and I went shopping at Walmart on Monday afternoon. I wheeled myself into and out of the store,
as well as while I was shopping. I got a
good workout on my arm muscles. When we
got inside the store, David went to the groceries and I stayed on the other side. Of course everything I was interested in was
up high. When we went to check out,
every line was busy. When it was finally
our turn, I tried to tilt the credit card machine down so I could see it from
my wheelchair. Instead of tilting, it
broke away from the bracket, the back popped off clattering to the ground and
it came unplugged messing up both the register and the card reader. I felt very sorry for the guy checking me
out. He said he normally worked in lawn
and garden. He hated it when they made
him check out because something always goes wrong. He was about to freak when I broke the
machine. Poor guy probably needs therapy
now because of me. Of course there was a
long line behind me and I made everyone wait at least five extra minutes.
Nothing like drawing attention to the guy everyone is taking sidelong
glances at! I love kids because at least
they openly stare at you and wonder.
Adults try to be cool about it but a good number end up conspicuously
trying to NOT look at my leg. It is rather hilarious to watch. Maybe it is just me but I have no problem
with people looking or even asking a question about my leg. Shoot, I would be curious and want to look if
I saw someone with an amputation. At
church last Sunday, I was going up and down the aisle before the service
started. I spoke with one family who has
a son that is about 1½ to two years old at the most. He looked directly at my leg and pointed to
it. Even at that age, he recognizes that
something is different with my leg. He
kept pointing at it, so I raised my stump up near him. He gently poked it with his finger and then
he was satisfied. The 4-5 year old sitting
in front of him saw this and he wanted to touch it too. I made him happy by
giving him a chance to poke it as well. My thought is let’s go ahead and talk about
the elephant in the room that everyone is ignoring. Obviously there is a time and place for looks
and questions and there is a time and place for remaining silent and not make a
deal of it. I would recommend that if
you know someone or bump into them all the time, it would be okay to notice and
ask a polite question or two. I cannot
speak for everyone, but if you got a question, want to look, or even poke my
stump—just ask me, it’s all fine with me.
David and I picked up some wings for dinner and met Jon back at home in
Fall Creek. After dinner Jon and David filled
up the wood rake for me and then they headed for home.
Thought for the Day:
Yesterday (2/10) was originally the day I had my surgeon’s appointment
where he would clear me for getting my prosthesis. Unfortunately, he had to reschedule my
appointment and the earliest date we could get in is two weeks from now (2/24). I know that it is only two more weeks—but
after looking forward to getting started walking again—it seems like an
unbearably long time. When I first heard
about the appointment change; I was extremely disappointed (notice the word
play: appointed—disappointed?). It was
one of only a few emotionally “down days” that I’ve had. At first, I could hardly think of anything
besides the delay. Now I’m handling it
well and choosing to see it in a positive light. I will be stronger and have more stamina and
so be better prepared for the physical strain of learning to walk. It has also given my stump just a bit longer
to heal and to be less tender. And
besides, there is just not much I can do about it anyway. So get over it and move on!
One thing that I have found to be true is that it is easier to not go
somewhere mentally/emotionally in the first place than to go back to being calm
and peaceful after I have already “lost” it.
Fear is a good example. It is easier to teach a child how to not be
afraid and to keep calm, than it is to calm a child after they’ve gotten afraid
and all worked up. If you have a
tendency towards anger, you should understand how difficult it can be to calm
down after you are angry. It is much
better to work at not getting angry in the first place. Often times, that is easier said than done.
Let’s use fear as an example. It
turns out that most of our fears are about things that will never happen. When I was a teenager living in Missouri
after seeing the movie, “Jaws,” I was freaked out swimming in the dark in a
swimming pool! Not much chance of
encountering a shark in a pool in the middle of Missouri—maybe a water moccasin
(poisonous snake) but a shark!?! That
fear was irrational; but it didn’t mean the fear wasn’t real in my mind. The way out of fear is to flood the mind with
the truth and the bigger picture.
As I’ve grown older I am more afraid of heights than I used to be. I’ve never really liked them and they made me
feel uncomfortable; but I usually could overcome those feelings by the correct
mental talk. I remember climbing a fire
tower out in the woods in the Ozarks.
There are open stairs that lead up to the observation room. I can see down between every step and the
tower seems to have a little sway in it.
I know it is being actively used so it is a sound structure. But I had to talk to myself about how safe it
was to get my feet to move. I eventually
made it to the top and enjoyed the view.
Looking out to the side was much better than looking down.
A couple of years ago my son, Jon, and I went to Chicago and went up in
Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower). It
is the second tallest building in the US.
We went to 103rd floor where they have glass balconies that
extend over the edge of the building where you can look straight down through
the glass to the ground 1,353 feet below.
The balcony is rated safe up to 10,000 lbs. of weight. I had just watched a few very overweight
people (they made me look thin) walk out and stand there. But when it was my turn, I shuffled my feet
out onto the glass. I was afraid that if
I took a step and slammed my foot down that the glass would shatter and there I
would go. My son just laughed at me.
So how do you handle fear, anger, envy, jealousy, temptation, or any number
of corrosive kind of thoughts?
1) Realize that whatever you focus upon will
dominate your thoughts. Whatever you look for you will find. Your thoughts can affect you physically and
emotionally. If you keep thinking about it—it will grow in size in your mind. Proverb
23:7 “For as he thinks in his heart, so is
he.”
2) Understand that you can choose your thoughts. Just because a thought pops into your mind,
it doesn’t mean that you have to dwell upon it.
You can choose whether or not this is something worth thinking about or
whether you should stop thinking about it. The sooner that you choose not to
think about something, the easier it is to actually stop. The longer you’ve dwelt on something, the
harder it is to erase. 2
Corinthians 10:4 “and [we] take every thought captive to obey
Christ.”
3) Focus your thoughts upon
good and wholesome things. If you decide
you don’t like where your thoughts lead you; then choose better thoughts. Philippians
4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble,
whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is
admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.”
4) Find the right mentor or someone who can help coach you so that you learn
to think helpful, positive thoughts. Philippians 4:9 “Whatever you have learned or received or
heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will
be with you.”
So often we get ourselves into trouble because we have been focusing
upon one dimension of an issue. We need
to see the bigger picture to gain a correct perspective. It might take time to re-calibrate our minds
to think and see things from a more positive perspective. It probably took years of thinking in a
certain way to get you to where you are today; so don’t be surprised that it
might take years to correct those habits and patterns that you are so used to
now. One of the very cool things about
how we were created is that we can change.
The way you are today is not how you have to remain. We have the ability to become new and better
people. So if you don’t like what you
currently see in the mirror—then make the changes necessary to become a whole
new you.
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