Thursday (5/8/2014)

Update:

I spent the day on Wednesday working on the wedding ceremony I am to perform on Saturday afternoon for Steve and Carol.   I also began working on my message for Sunday church and worked updating some records that I have left attended for a while.  I also stayed off of my foot to rest it after the busy day yesterday.

The AWANA Awards ceremony was held on Wednesday evening.  AWANA is our church’s mid-week children’s program for pre-school through high school that runs throughout the school year.  Prior to my amputation, I helped run the program for 3rd-6th grade boys and ran the game time for older clubbers. I never felt like I had enough energy in the evening to go back to help after that, so I left Randy, our leader, and Kent to cover for me.  But I told Randy that I would do the devotional message during the awards ceremony that closes out the year.  So I helped out Randy by doing that for him last night.

Immediately after the awards ceremony, I had a ride along scheduled with a police officer in Altoona.  With that ride, I am officially back in service with both police departments and the fire department that I serve as chaplain.  I am thankful to my congregation for allowing me the opportunity to have a dual service to my church as pastor and then to these departments as chaplain.  My denomination has a number of chaplains serving in the military and a fair number of chaplains in nursing homes, etc.; but there are very few of us who have the honor of serving our communities as police or fire chaplains.  This has been a good fit with my background, gifts and ability.  One of my bachelor degrees is in Criminal Justice.  After the military and prior to seminary, I worked as a part-time weekend employee of a small sheriff’s department as a jailer/dispatcher.  While in the military I probably should have been an MP but the army in its wisdom thought otherwise.  If I hadn’t decided to become a pastor—I probably would have stayed in the military or became a cop.  So I am very comfortable working alongside these fine men and women to assist them and those in our community whom we serve. 

Thought for the Day: 

Have you ever been emotionally stuck?  Author Les Brown says, “The good times we put in our pocket.  The bad times we put in our heart.”   For whatever reason, negative events tend to stick with us and affect us more deeply than the positive ones.  Sometimes those events hurt us so badly that we get emotionally stuck and we can’t seem to move on.  One example of that might be a person who has suffered a painful marriage and divorce.  That person will often put up barriers and wall in an effort to protect themselves from others getting close enough to harm them.  In the process, those walls also won’t allow the person to love deeply and build a healthy relationship with someone new.  They are emotionally stuck in the past.

“It cannot be denied that our lives are filled with loss.  Some losses are great; some are small.  And the losses we face affect our mental health.  Some people handle it well, while others don’t.  The quality that distinguishes a successful person from an unsuccessful one who is otherwise like him is the capacity to manage disappointment and loss.  This is a challenge because losses can often defeat us mentally… Harry Neale, the coach of the Vancouver Canucks in the 1980’s said, ‘Last year we couldn’t win on the road, and this year we can’t win at home.  I don’t know where else to play!’   …As losses build up, they become more of a burden.  We regret the losses of yesterday.  We fear the losses of tomorrow.  Regret saps our energy.  We can’t build on regret.  Fear of the future distracts us and fills us with apprehension.  …We need to expect mistakes, failures, and losses in life, since each of us will face many of them.  But we need to take them as they come, not allow them to build up.  As printer William A. Ward said, ‘Man, like a bridge, was designed to carry the load for a moment, not the combined weight of a year all at once.’”  [John Maxwell, Some Times You Win, Sometimes You Learn].

How well do you deal with loss and failure?  Are you able to shake it off and bounce right back?  Or does defeat hang on and build up, weighing you down more and more with each passing day?

I’m obviously not going to answer every question and give every solution in this short thought; but here is the foundation piece that must be laid in your life.  You can choose what you will dwell upon and ultimately what will define you.  You cannot change your past, nor can you eradicate pain and loss from your future.  It is like playing a game of cards.  Life has dealt you with a hand—you have to decide how you are going to play those cards.

Where most of us struggle is in forgiving ourselves (as well as the others who have hurt us) and moving on with our lives.  For Christians, this is a bit easier since we have learned forgiveness in the example of God towards us.  We recognize that Christ paid for the sins of the world with His very life.  Not only did He pay for every one of our sins; He paid for the sins of everyone who has every harmed us or hurt us as well.  We are told that we are to mimic God, in forgiving others who have harmed us.

Colossians 3:13 “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (ESV)

That is often the easiest part compared to the next thing that we must do.  We cannot continue to dwell upon those events.  It is only natural to continually go over the events that transpired that got you emotionally stuck; but that continued reminiscing is not healthy for you if it keeps going on and on.  Eventually you have to move on.  You do that by remembering that you already forgave the other person (or yourself) and now you need to stop dwelling upon it.  You choose not to keep thinking about it.  You force your mind to think about other things.  As you continue to focus your attention elsewhere, you eventually come to the point where you don’t automatically keep coming back to your emotional “ground zero.” 

A car that just spins its wheels and digs a deeper hole for itself isn’t doing anybody any good.  Likewise, people who are stuck emotionally don’t do themselves (or the others around them) any good.  Do yourself a favor and work at getting unstuck so you can move on and enjoy life.

Philippians 3:13b   “…But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,” (ESV).

Wednesday (5/7/2014)

Update:

By Tuesday, my right foot felt better so I ventured out on two legs.  My first errand was to the medical supply store to see if they had a foldable cane that would work for me.  My doctor had approved me riding my motorcycle but I couldn’t figure out anyway to attach my cane or carry it along without it interfering with my controls.  So I purchased a folding cane that I can put in my saddlebags.  It’s really no good to ride the motorcycle if I can’t get off and walk anywhere once I arrive.  I wonder how I can load my wheelchair up on my motorcycle in case I want to use that?  (Just teasing!).  I’ve yet to get on the bike.  I am waiting for my schedule, the weather, and my foot to all work together.  Hopefully by this weekend I can take a few minutes to drive around town to practice shifting with my prosthetic leg before I venture out farther.

I popped into the prosthetic lab to talk with them about the clicking noise I have when I walk.  My pin is not fully engaging in the locking mechanism.  I’m safely locked in, it just won’t fully seat, so every step I make a squeaky-clicking noise.  It’s more of an embarrassing nuisance; I certainly can’t sneak up on anybody right now.  We have tried one spacer added to the pin; then we tried two spacers—neither option worked.  So now the prosthetist is ordering a half-sized spacer that is more like squishy rubber to try.  So until that comes in, if you listen for me you’ll hear me coming.

In the afternoon, I attended a funeral for an Eau Claire firefighter who died.  I went along with firefighters from my department.  My department also supplied an engine and a crew to cover for Eau Claire Fire so that more of their personnel could attend the funeral.   During the service, all uniformed personnel walk by the deceased’ remains as means of honoring the deceased firefighter.  As chaplain for the Altoona department, I have a uniform, so I joined in this silent procession.  I was really wishing that my trip to the Prosthetic Lab had fixed my noise problem before we walked through.  I was a bit embarrassed by my noisy leg; but what could I do?  The funeral was a moving tribute to the firefighter who served the city for sixteen years. May God grant peace and comfort to her grieving spouse.

The funeral concluded just a short while prior to the evening’s fire training, so I was able to talk to a number of the firefighters from my department and spend some time with them during training.

My right foot was fine throughout the day and the evening.  I did quite a bit of standing and walking but the pain that I had last weekend never returned.  When I got tired I did find a place to sit down or to perch.  Today, (Wednesday) I plan on taking it easy during the day.  I have a busy evening and night ahead, so I don’t want to overdo it.

Thought for the Day:

In my devotional bible time, I am currently reading from the book of Acts, the account of the early church just after Jesus’ resurrection.  In the first seven chapters, it details how great miracles are taking place, the Apostles are preaching with boldness, and large numbers of people are coming to faith causing the church to grow by leaps and bounds.  And then in the midst of this prosperous time, persecution arises.  Stephen becomes the first recorded person who is killed because of his faith in Jesus.  His death opens the floodgates for persecution to sweep across the newly formed religion.

Acts 8:3 “But Saul was ravaging the church, and entering house after house, he dragged off men and women and committed them to prison.” (ESV)

It really struck me what a vast change occurred in a short time.  Prior to Stephen’s death, those who later became known as Christians enjoyed the people’s favor.  Many Jewish priests were coming to faith.  Miracles of healing happened frequently.  It had to be a joyous time and a wonderful movement to be a part of--until persecution arose.  I know from church history that this persecution caused all those in Jerusalem to scatter throughout the world to escape.  This spread the gospel message outward beyond the walls of Jerusalem and the borders of Israel.  In a sterile environment, that sounds like a wonderful thing to happen.

But try explaining that to Stephen’s family.  Attempt to point that out to the people thrown in jail.   Explain that to those who left behind their homes, their friends, and their former lives as they fled throughout the region.  Just imagine the panic that would sweep through as people realized that instead of being celebrities they were suddenly considered criminals.  Nothing had changed except the perception of people and their desire to eradicate this fledgling faith.  From happiness and contentment to horror and terror in a heartbeat.  Innocent lives being torn apart.  Freedom and rights stripped away because of their new-found religious beliefs.

In our minds, we normally equate following God and living a blessed, peaceful, prosperous existence.  But unfortunately, much of church history has proven just the opposite.  Often people seeking to follow God closely are persecuted, killed, injured, imprisoned, or suffer loss.  We think in terms of immediate benefit for believing; but God looks at the long range goal and eternal aspects. 

All this is to say that perhaps you are going through a rough patch and things are not going well for you.  You thought things would be easier for you because you are a Christian or because of your faith; but that is not what you are personally experiencing.  Perhaps you may be wondering if it’s worth living a life of faith if this is what you get in return.  The words of scripture should encourage you to look beyond your own personal, immediate benefit and remember that God has a plan.  That plan includes you; but God’s highest priority is not your personal comfort and happiness in this life.  He’s got something far greater and more wonderful planned for eternity. 

So when things go sour in this world, as they inevitably will, don’t lose heart.  Don’t lose faith.  Keep on believing.  Keep on trusting.  Keep on doing what you know to be right.  You might not see any reward or benefit to it now.  You might even feel like you are losing ground by continuing to believe; but remember that this is only a temporary setback and doesn’t change the truth about God’s planned future.

Jeremiah 29:11   “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.^’” (NIV) 

Tuesday (5/6/2014)

Update:

I am happy to say… rather I am relieved to say… better yet make that I am overjoyed to say…that my foot appears to be “fine.”  I’ve still have some pain and I am supposed to minimize walking on it until the pain subsides—but there was no apparent damage found and no additional restrictions imposed by the doctor yesterday.

The podiatrist examined my foot and sent me for x-rays; but found no evidence to suggest that anything else should be done at this time.  I am supposed to continue examining my foot on a daily basis and he gave me a more detailed list of things to look for.  He also told me that I hadn’t over-reacted and if I get the pain and any of the other symptoms that he shared with me I should make a bee line back into his office.

I was absolutely amazed that he didn’t impose any new restrictions on me.  So I am free to continued life…at a careful pace.  I was so very grateful when I heard the news.  After he left the examination room, before I did anything else, I tearfully gave thanks to God for the unexpectedly good report.  Phew!  Dodged that bullet!

The sad part is that we don’t really know what was causing the pain I experienced.  But I found if I stayed off of the foot (rode in a wheelchair) the pain subsided.  I have a couple of thoughts about what changed in my life or what I did differently just before this started that I’ll have to run by the doctor.  But there was no direct link between “I did this” and “my pain began.”  I can live with that tension.  And I am especially grateful that I won’t have to give anything up or discontinue doing anything that I’ve been doing.  I was really afraid that just as the weather turned nice that I would be stuck in the wheelchair, perhaps permanently.  For now, it is voluntary and at my discretion.  I can work with that.

So if you see me sporting my wheelchair for a time, you’ll know what is up.  It is just a part of the ups and downs of my life.  And I am so grateful that is all it is.

Thought for the Day:

I read Os Hillman’s devotional thought each morning.  The one he published yesterday hit a homerun for me.  I decided to share it in its entirety.  I hope that it brings you clarity and peace about whatever circumstances you face.

When God Seems Far Away
TGIF Today God Is First, Volume 1, by Os Hillman
05-05-2014

“’Why, O Lord, do You stand far off? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?’ - Psalm 10:1    One of the great mysteries of God is His ways. Some of His ways almost appear to bring us into the most difficult places, as if He were indifferent to our circumstances. It would appear that He is turning His head from our sorrows. These events in our lives have a particular objective to perform for us. That objective is to bring us to the end of ourselves that we might discover the treasure of darkness. ‘Yet when I hoped for good, evil came; when I looked for light, then came darkness’ (Job 30:26).”

“When we are taken into these dark periods, we begin to see light that we never knew existed. Our sensitivities become heightened and our ability to see through spiritual eyes is illuminated. Unless we are taken into these times, our souls never develop any depth of character. We do not gain wisdom, only knowledge. Knowledge is gained through understanding; wisdom is gained through the experience of darkness.”

“After we go through these periods, we discover that God was, in fact, with us throughout the entire time. It does not feel or appear that He is there when we are in the midst of the dark periods. However, He is there walking with us. He has told us countless times that He will never leave us. However, when we are in those dark periods, it does not feel like He is there because He does not rescue us from the circumstances. He does this for our benefit in order that we might become more like Jesus. Jesus learned obedience from the things He suffered (see Heb. 5:8). What does that say about how you and I will learn obedience? Embrace the dark times and gain the wisdom that God intends for you from these times.”     [Os Hillman, Today God Is First (TGIF) on-line devotional message, 5-5-2014]

Monday (5/5/2014)

Update/Thought:

This morning I have combined the Update and Thought into one.

I had an enjoyable weekend and accomplished a long list of chores/errands that I had to do on Saturday.  I got all of the important ones done anyway.  My son, Jon, and a buddy came over to take some things out of my garage that I told them they could have for their new place in Eau Claire.  One thing they took was my large rolling work table.  It has a lot of storage space underneath too.  I figured all the stuff I had stored on it would really clot up my garage; but the pile is pretty small and removing the table really opened up my garage—so Jon gets a functional work bench with storage and I got more room in my garage.  I think it was a win-win decision. 

One of the things that really developed over the weekend was pain in my right foot.  It started as a dull, ache in my bones.  By the time church was over on Sunday morning it was a sharper pain.  It sent me to my wheelchair for the rest of the day.  One of the events that started my medical adventure six months ago is that the bones in the arch of my left foot collapsed.  One of the fears is that since that occurred in my left foot with the end result of amputation; the doctors have been very careful to do everything that they can from preventing it from happening to my right foot.  That is why I have had so many restrictions on my walking so far. 

I’ve had a few minor aches here and there; but nothing of this magnitude or length.  So this has me concerned.  With my orthotic, the bones have not collapsed—I’m not at that level of pain.  But my foot is under stress and responding with pain.  Today, on Monday, I already had a doctor’s appointment scheduled with my podiatrist; so I guess the timing is perfect because I was going to have to call to set up an appointment with him because of this anyway.

My primary concern is to not do anything to damage the foot which would lead to another amputation.  My secondary concern is having my walking privileges yanked and being stuck back in the wheelchair.  Perhaps Dr. Roberts will just say, “Normal aches and pains; but no danger.  Take it easy for a few days and it will be okay.”  I have a feeling that the conversation will be much more serious and the ramifications harder to bear.

I am trying not to worry unnecessarily until I get word from the doctor; but emotionally I’m having to fight back my fears.  Ultimately I’ve already decided that whatever is recommended I will accept and be okay with.  It might be disappointing news; but I can adjust and adapt (besides what choice do I have?).  My biggest concern is that my ability to act as a chaplain will be compromised again by the restrictions.  So the rest of the morning I plan on reading my bible, praying, and then reading all the rest of the books that encourage me to stay positive and challenge me to trust in the Lord.  I need to feed my soul and fill my spiritual reservoir (leaky bucket illustration from April 24^th Thought for the Day).

My mind is trying to wrap itself around the development.  Last night I had one of those reoccurring, continuing dreams.  I woke up several times and didn’t want to go back to that dream but I kept going back.  I dreamt that I was in Chicago and doing some sightseeing.  It was too far to walk so I was in a wheelchair.  Somehow during the day, I lost my foot and ankle off of my prosthetic leg.  Those just don’t come loose and fall off—someone had to take it.  But I had it on the whole time.  So I was upset because I had no idea where it had come off or how I lost it.  I knew that the medical insurance company wouldn’t give me a new foot assembly for free.  With all of our medical expenses there was no way for me to buy a new $6,000 foot/ankle.  I kept searching for the foot without success.  That’s the dream that I kept going back to all night.  In the last episode just before waking up for the day, the place where I was staying was throwing a big surprise party for me.  They weren’t good at throwing a surprise party because I could see tons of people gathering and lots of food being prepared.  I woke up before the surprise was revealed—so maybe I got my leg back in the end.  Goofy dreams!

As my wife and I have been talking, we noted that I haven’t done anything stupid or that violated any of my current restrictions.  So as far as I know, nothing out of the ordinary caused this.  The only thing we can think of that happened during this time was that they wanted me to switch my cane from my right to my left hand.  Left hand use should support the right foot more, but who knows?

Any way I appreciate your prayers for the doctor’s wisdom and for my peace with whatever transpires.

Here are a few verses that I am hanging onto this morning:

Isaiah 26:3    “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” (ESV)

Philippians 4:6-7    “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (NASB)

Jeremiah 32:17    “Ah, Lord GOD! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.” (ESV)

Deuteronomy 2:7    “For the LORD your God has blessed you in all the work of your hand. He knows your trudging through this great wilderness. These forty years the LORD your God has been with you; you have lacked nothing.” (NKJ)

At this point I have more questions and concerns than I have answers.  I have decided that I won’t wallow in my anxiousness.  Instead I am going to set it aside.  Worrying about the possibilities won’t help anything and they might prove to be unfounded; so why waste my time and energy?  I’m going to do something helpful with my time instead.  It is hard to stop thinking about something that’s got your attention; so I am going to push it out of my mind by filling my mind with something positive in its place.  I’ve got about four hours to go before my appointment.  I am going to continue to nourish my soul and work at filling my spiritual reservoir so that whatever transpires later this day, I won’t run dry. 

I hope that you have an opportunity to do the same for yourself so that no matter what you face this day that you will be victorious.

Saturday (5/3/2014)

Update:

I spend from 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. on Friday at my office.  I had taken lunch with me so I never left the building.  It is the first time I’ve spent the entire day at the office since last November.  I got tons of things done but boy was I whipped when I got home. 

Karen and I ate dinner together and then I crashed into the recliner until bedtime (which came a little earlier than normal).  I feel much more energetic this morning after a night’s rest and look forward to getting outside the warm sunshine this afternoon.

Today, I’ve got to do some prep work for the Baccalaureate Service we are holding at our church on Sunday night, fold my laundry and do some ironing, get my exercises done, and do a little work on my prosthetic leg. 

Right now there is a squeaking noise when I walk.  The prosthetist thought that putting a small spacer on my pin would stop the noise.  She gave me a spacer for each of my silicone liners (I have two so I can alternate days wearing them).  I was told if one spacer didn’t work, then put both of them on one liner and see if that works.  Since one spacer didn’t work, I’ve got to go find a pair of pliers (garage or basement) and then work the spacer back off the pin and then put both of them on the one liner and see if it works.  So I’ve got to get dressed and put my leg on, go find the pliers and any other tools that I think I need, take my leg off, move the spacer, and then put my leg back on.  Things are much more complicated and take a lot more energy than they used to take.    If all of that doesn’t take care of the noise problem, then I’ll have to make an appointment and go into the prosthetic lab next week.

I might have to go there anyway because I’ve been having a bit of pain in my leg over the last couple of days.  It may need some additional padding in a place or two to relieve it.  I truly am a work in progress!

I’ve got to run into town to pick some supplies up for church in the morning and I might try to go see the kids’ new apartment while I’m in town.

If I have enough time and energy I may move the ATV out of the garage and into the storage shed.  That way sometime next week, I have a clear shot to get my motorcycle out for a ride.  Looking forward to that!

This evening, Karen and I plan on spending time together relaxing after dinner.  That sounds nice too!

Thought for the Day:

On the best days, life on earth is beautiful and refreshing.  Today the sun has finally broken through the clouds and rain that have plagued us for a couple of weeks.  It looks gorgeous outside.  The grass is finally starting to turn green.  I cannot wait to go outside and enjoy the day.  But there is also a darker side to nature: storms, tornadoes, hurricanes, earth quakes, droughts and floods.

In a similar vein, human interaction can be beautiful and enjoyable.  Spending time can be such a delight and enrich our souls.  But at times, human interaction shows a darker side: anger, violence, murder, hatred, and bigotry.

“Human beings were not created to experience death, pain, grief, disappointment, ruptured relationships, disease, and natural disasters.  The world we were made to live in was not supposed to be like that.”  Our world is “a broken world, in which things do not function as they should, and that is why there is evil and suffering… this judgment does not represent God’s abandonment of us.  Rather His judgment of the world was purposeful…  God judged the world ‘in hope’ of a final redemption from evil that would be glorious…  Nevertheless, for the present, we live in the shadows.”  [Timothy Keller, Walking With God through Pain and Suffering].

Romans 8:18-21   “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.  For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.  For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.” (ESV)

Our world changed and the existence that we were designed to experience was altered when sin entered the world.  The perfect way of life that occurred in the Garden of Eden prior to sin, was forever altered.  This mixed bag of happy and sad as well as good and evil is as good as we can currently expect.  But there is a coming day when everything will be renewed and restored to its original design.

After experiencing the “almost good” of our current life; life in the world to come will be glorious and perfect.  We will be in awe of how wonderful it is when things are set right and everything has been restored.

All this theology helps me understand why things are the way they are today.  It allows me to cope with the constant shift between beauty and goodness to ugly and evil.  It helps me to understand what I know to be true deep within my core: that the innocent shouldn’t suffer; children shouldn’t die from cancer; no one deserves to watch a family member fade away with Alzheimer’s; tornadoes shouldn’t kill and create havoc; and people shouldn’t treat other people in the wicked way that they do; etc.

We were created for something far different from what we are currently experiencing.  For all of its beauty and joyfulness; this world is wrong.  It is sick and broken and needs to be redeemed and recreated to be set right.  And God has a plan to do that.

As much as we strive through selfless sacrifice, laws and social norms to right the wrongs of this world we will never create the utopia that we long for.  Some things are just not repairable in our own power.  We should work constantly for a more just society and to treat others with respect and dignity; but only God has the power to set things completely right.

I look forward to that day.  But until it comes, I will enjoy whatever goodness can be had in this life.  I will seek to be an agent of good and to bring hope to those without it.  I will do everything that I can to make a difference in the lives of those around me.  But I will look forward to the day of redemption in complete trust and faith in the One who created it all.

Friday (5/2/2014)

Update:

I spent time Thursday morning cooking some chili so I would have a readily available lunch on hand and got ready for my physical therapy appointment in the afternoon.  I made the mistake of trying to grab lunch at the newly re-opened Wendy’s in Eau Claire.  They are still working on the parking lot so there were lots of construction vehicles mixed in with all the crazy people who had the same idea for lunch as I did.  I got one of their salads and it was pretty good; but definitely not worth the wait.

At PT I learned a few new exercises that I need to be working on.  I’ve been getting a stiff neck on my left side and my right calf keeps cramping; so I got some exercises to work those out as well.  So far I have been walking with the cane in my right hand to help me with my prosthesis on my left leg.  I now walk so well that they want me to switch and use the cane in my left hand to help take some weight off of my right leg.  Switching hands with the cane is actually tougher than it sounds.  Think about learning how to swing a golf club improperly and then trying to retrain yourself to use the proper swing.  As long as I don’t think about it, it comes pretty naturally; but if I think about it I can get out of synch.  As my therapist said, “Don’t think about it; just do it.”  As crazy as that sounds, it works.  Eventually left-handed use will feel as natural as my right-handed use does now—but it will take some getting use to.

During this past week, I resumed riding along as a chaplain with the police.  It was nice to get to spend some time with an officer one-on-one.  I also was called out this week by the police to assist a family in need.  It felt good to help someone in a tough situation and allow the officers the freedom to get their work done while I stayed with the family.  I’m also scheduled to be a member of a Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM) debriefing in a few days.  Our emergency responders often experience terrible things and sometimes it overloads their coping mechanisms; I serve on a regional team to help them work through the aftermath.  I am grateful for the opportunity I have to resume my duties as a chaplain to these fine men and women who serve our communities.  Please pray for those who serve (military, police, firefighters, EMS, etc.)—it’s a tough job.

Thought for the Day:

Psalm 103:8-11   “The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.  He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever.  He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;”

Psalm 50:15   “…call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.”

John 9:1-3     “As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth.  His disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’  ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.’”

When disaster strikes it is normal to wonder what went wrong.  We like to have something solid to blame the event on.  Did the airplane crash because of pilot error, mechanical failure, or hijackers?  Did the person’s illness take place because he failed to take care of himself or did his treatment fail?  Was anyone negligent? 

Sometimes we wonder, “Where was God in all of this?”  Why didn’t He do something?  Doesn’t He care?  Isn’t He able?”  We ask ourselves whether there was anything that we could have done to prevent it from happening.  We wonder if someone else is at fault for what has befallen us.  WHY? Why did this happen?

“Your pain has a purpose.  Your problems, struggles, heartaches, and hassles cooperate toward one end—the glory of God…  Is there any chance, any possibility, that you have been selected to struggle for God’s glory? Have you ‘been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake’ (Philippians 1:29)?   …Are people strengthened by your struggles? ...Rather than begrudge your problem, explore it.  Ponder it.  And most of all, use it.  Use it to the glory of God.”  [Max Lucado, It’s Not About Me].

Sometimes it is good just to know that we haven’t failed and that God hasn’t failed us.  Our situation may not have changed but everything looks different when we realize that God has a purpose and could be glorified by how we go through our experiences.  When we go through rough waters with peace, courage, unbelievable strength and fortitude; when we reflect these things to the people who are watching us—we show them God at work.  We allow them to see a life touched by Jesus.  What we have gone through remains evil and ugly; but to some degree it has been redeemed and it is wonderful when God is seen.

Ask God to enable you to show others the power and wonder of God—not because trouble never touches you—but in how your respond and how you live in the midst of difficulty.  Let the things that you face count for something and allow them to bring about something worthwhile and wonderful.  Get the last laugh on trouble, suffering, and disaster.  Take something that it is ugly and make it have a beautiful core.  People will marvel and wonder at what they are seeing when they observe you if you do.  

Thursday (5/1/2014)

Update:

Wednesday was a fairly mellow day.  I seem to need more sleep now that I am up and walking.  Tuesday night I slept almost nine hours.  Unfortunately it wasn’t beauty sleep; but I was well rested and ready for the day.  I had a number of emails to answer and calls to make as well as do some reading in the morning.

I spent the afternoon at my church office and got a lot done for the coming weekend.  I got so caught up what I was doing at work that I lost track of time and had to rush home to get dinner ready for Karen and me (warmed up leftovers).

In the evening, I did my exercises and visited with the boys who were over stealing our freezer.  My sons, Jon and Josh, and my daughter, Kate, and her husband, Nick, have rented a place together and realized that they needed more freezer space.  Since all the kids left, we hardly have anything left in the freezer, so Karen and I said they could take it.  They are all very excited moving in.  I look forward to seeing their new place soon.

One of my daily tasks is to inspect my stump and my remaining foot for any sores, or angry looking spots.  Monday, we found a dark spot on the side of one of my toes, so we are watching it closely.  Karen says it looks like a bruise and seems to be fading away.  Do you know how hard it is to get a good look at all angles of your foot and in between the toes?  It used to be easier when I was younger and more limber.  So it is a daily challenge to arrange the lights and use the mirror to do a foot inspection. 

Thought for the Day: 

Graduation is just around the corner.  A vast majority of high school graduates will head to college at the end of summer.  They’ll most likely find out that the course load in college is at a whole new level when they take their first test and get a grade lower than they have ever achieved before.  It causes a sobering realization that it is time to knuckle down and work hard; or they might as well give up right then and go home.  I found that to be true when I went to seminary and discovered that the course work between the bachelor’s level and the master’s level takes an exponential jump as well.  It is a harsh reality to face when you discover that you have to work longer and harder to achieve a lower grade than you are used to getting.  Constant quizzes, never-ending chapter tests, and comprehensive finals—the stuff that nightmares are made of.  Although it was difficult at the time and we never thought we would survive—we did.  But just about the time we started to relax and enjoy life, a new semester began and the cycle started all over again.

As much as we dislike them, tests are important because we find out what we have learned.  They benchmark progress.  They reveal deficiencies.  They indicate whether the work we are doing is adequate, sub-standard, or excellent.  Tests reveal what we’ve absorbed and where we need to apply ourselves in the future.  As much as I hate to say it; tests are good for us.

Did you know that God tests us?  He wants to find out what we are made of; what we have learned; and whether or not we really love and trust Him.  God tests our hearts to find out if we are really His.  God’s tests also serve to encourage us to follow Him more closely and rely upon Him more fully.

Deuteronomy 8:2-3    ^“Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.”

“Has God performed a heart test on you lately? There are times in our lives when God leads us into the desert in order to let us find out what is in our heart. These times can be very difficult and humbling. They can test our mettle like no other time. Desert times often mean we are living without those things we are normally accustomed to: water, food, limited supplies - and with few comforts. In modern terms, it may mean a different environment. God is performing a very important work during these times. He wants to know if we can be obedient to Him in these times; or will we be obedient only when times are good?”  [Os Hillman, TGIF Today God Is First, on-line devotional, 5/1/2014].

So if you are going through painful, difficult times remember that God will use them to discover how you are doing spiritually.  These terrible and harsh events will reveal to you how you are doing as well.

One of the things that I have found is that unlike in a human classroom setting, God never allows the coursework to get too easy and boring.  His coursework is always challenging because He knows it is when we are stretched to our limits (and beyond) that we really experience growth and development. 

Maybe right now God has you enrolled in a 300 level course entitled, “Pain and Suffering” or a 400 level class called, “Loneliness and Despair.”  Some might be enrolled in an AP course named, “Grief and Sorrow.”  Whatever is happening in your life, remember that your instructor doesn’t want you to fail.  God wants you to pass and learn and grow through what you are going through.

If you were struggling in a college course, where would you turn for help?  I can think of three sources: fellow students, the graduate assistant for the course, or the professor himself.  Spiritually, you might turn to friends or others going through the same experience to see what help they can give you.  You might turn to a pastor or church leader for advice, counsel, and support.  Or you may go directly to God Himself—crying out for help, encouragement and the strength you need.

What I have found is that if during the test you rely upon God, all sorts of resources that you never expected will be available to you.  Often you will experience God in a fashion and to a depth that you never have before.  As a result, your faith and trust in Him will grow as you find Him faithful and true.

Whatever classes you are currently enrolled in, I hope and pray that you get good grades.  There are worst things in life than a class that you don’t care for; and that is failing the test and having to take the same class over again.

God, I pray for my brothers and sisters who are struggling with what they are personally going through right now.  Give them the courage to face the test, the strength work hard, and the power to persevere until they pass the test.  May they recognize that You are always there for them—and may they find You in their time of need.  I pray these things for them and myself as well.  Amen.