Update & Thought for the Day:
I got a late start to the day on Tuesday. I never sleep past 8:15 a.m. But on Tuesday I woke up at 9:45 a.m. Wow! I
felt more rested and refreshed. I am a
little embarrassed to say that this past weekend I had just playfully given my
daughter grief for sleeping in until 9:30 a.m. on her day off and then I go and
do it!
I put my leg on Tuesday and it felt much better than the day
before. There was still pressure on the
back of my leg but it wasn’t as painful.
So hopefully in another day or two it will just be pressure without any
discomfort. I stood and washed a few
dishes and then made “Karen approved” cookie before my 75 minutes were up and
it was time to take my leg off for a rest.
About 4 p.m. I went out to the church to get a few things for an Elder
meeting in the morning on Wednesday and picked up some things for Sunday’s
message. I drove out to the church and
found it was a little tricky getting my leg into the truck. If I am in my wheelchair with my leg on, I
find that I bang into a lot of things with it.
I got use to how much room I need to turn around or make a corner with
my stump sticking out; but the prosthetic leg sticks out further so I am constantly
running into stuff. With my on and off
schedule, it is just easier to work from home for the next couple of
weeks. I am thankful that my job allows
that freedom. And I just found out that
if possible I should be wearing my prosthesis three times a day, so today I
will have worn it a total of three hours and 45 minutes. On Wednesday, I should end up wearing it
about 5 hours.
On Monday afternoon I had a very through eye exam by a retina
specialist. I have been having some
issues with my vision for some time as a result of my undiagnosed
diabetes. My blood sugars have been
under control for quite some time and so we thought the danger was over. I found out that it isn’t.
I went through a number of tests, including having a dye test. They injected a florescent dye into my blood
stream and then took pictures as it when through the blood vessels in my
eye. One of the temporary side effects
was that after the test, all lights in the room took on a red glow, very
interesting.
It turns out that both of my eyes have serious damage due to my
previously high blood sugars. When the
sugars dropped I thought that was the end of danger. The doctor explained that it is like shutting
the barn door after the horse is out of the barn. Damage is already done and unfortunately the
immune system keeps trying to repair the damage. The repair process actually can lead to
blindness. SO….
I’ve begun a series of treatments to hopefully stop the damage from
continuing. I have to have monthly
injections in both eyes. Yes that is a
needle injecting medication into the eye.
It sounds worse than it is. What
is really uncomfortable is some of the eye drops used to clean the eye before
the injection makes it feel like you have gravel in your eye for a day or two
after the injection and you cannot rub your eyes!!! I had the injection in my right eye on Monday
afternoon and I’ll get in my left eye on Friday morning. Most likely I’ll have to have monthly
injections for the rest of my life. I
guess that is a small price to pay for retaining my sight. I also will have laser surgery to help
stabilize the eyes. Eventually I will
have a second kind of laser surgery to attempt to improve my vision—my right
eye is especially bad.
So Monday morning started out all butterflies, puppies and rainbows and
it turned out there was a tornado that blew in during the afternoon. I’ve been talking about God’s refining fire
to purify us and make us more like Christ—and in His wisdom God put me back in
for more refining.
My retina specialist’s name is Dr. Wu.
I didn’t realize it at first but as he spoke and told us the results and
treatment plan, all I could say is, “Whew!”
I also told my wife that I don’t think that Dr. Wu ever went to
Kindergarten because in Kindergarten they teach you not to poke other people in
the eye with sticks and things; and Dr. Wu is going to keep poking me in the
eye! J
Emotionally it was a hard afternoon.
The treatment plan will slow down or arrest the onset of blindness but
it cannot cure my problem. I may or may
not regain the vision that I have already lost.
Okay, take a breath, Steve. I
used to be frustrated by my vision loss and couldn’t wait for it to get
straightened out. Now, I will be more
than happy just to not lose anything more.
It is amazing how quickly your perspective can change.
Having a leg amputated is one thing—I can strap on a prosthetic leg and
walk again. But there are no replacement
parts for the eyes. When and if my
eyesight goes—that’s final! Very, VERY
sobering.
And yet, after the initial shock through prayer and reading, I am okay
with it if it happens. Believe me, I am
doing everything possible to retain my sight for the rest of my life; but if I
don’t, well it just gives me further opportunity to trust in the Lord. I cannot imagine all that I would lose if I
am blind—but it won’t change who I am or my love for God and my family.
Job 1:21-22 “And he
said, ‘Naked I came from my mother's womb, And naked I shall return there. The
LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.’ Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.”
The cry of my heart
is that God will preserve my eyesight until he takes me home. I would appreciate your prayers for me as
well. I will do what I can and enjoy to
the fullest everything that I can until I take my final breath. Even the simplest things can bring great joy
with the proper perspective.
All that has
transpired in the last four months has caused me to focus my attention on the
things around me much more keenly. I’ve
gotten much more joy out of life since Thanksgiving Day. I recognize that each new day is a gift from
God and I don’t want to waste a single precious minute of it. I am not taking things for granted as
much. I’ve got a long way to go; but
every little disaster and setback in my life just causes me to draw closer to
God. It is easy to ignore the good things that you have, complain about
minor things and not appreciate what you have when everything is going well in
your life; but when the rug gets pulled out from underneath you—you tend to
look around more closely and change your priorities somewhat. I am grateful that I have cultivated a
relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ. No matter what else goes wrong, I always have
that to fall back upon.
What is your backup
plan? Unfortunately someday your health
will desert you. No amount of money will
rescue and keep you safe, healthy and sound.
Your job will fail you. Sad to
say but sometimes even your family and friends won’t be of help. They may have the best intentions; but have
no ability to change what you are going through. In the long run, it is only a faith and trust
in the Lord that you can hang onto and be certain of. Don’t wait until the last moment to begin
that faith walk with God. Start now so that
when things go south on you, you are ready.
Today, I’ve
combined my Update and Thought for the Day.
I wanted you to know that I am okay.
I also wanted you to know what is going on so that you can pray for me;
but more importantly so that my situation may act as reminder for you to
prepare yourself for the trials you yourself will face someday.
There was an old American
Express commercial that said, “American Express--Don’t leave home without it.” More appropriately I’d say, “GOD—Don’t face
life without Him.”
God bless you! I am praying for you!
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