Update & Thought for
the Day:
On Thursday evening I had a picnic to attend for an organization that I
belong to. I became an instant celebrity
when two of the host’s younger daughters (7 & 10 years old) found me. They wanted to know everything about my leg
and what happened to me. “Can we see
your leg? Can we touch it?” I instantly
had two new buddies and someone who wanted to push my wheelchair wherever I
needed to go. I love the openness and
inquisitive nature of children; although I struggled to explain an infection to
the seven year old!
Thursday morning, Kate, my oldest daughter, and I headed to the nursing
home to hold a worship for the residents.
My leg has still not healed well enough for me to wear my prosthesis, so
I was in my wheelchair. It is the first
time I did the worship service at the nursing home from my wheelchair. As we entered the chapel I was struck by how
full it was and by how many were in wheelchairs themselves. As I rolled in it seemed that everyone looked
at me with an intense interest and there was an instant connection with
them. Sounds sort of strange, but it
seemed like they were more interested in paying attention to me because I
appeared to be one of them. I wasn’t
some young, spry, healthy guy spouting off platitudes—I at least had a glimpse
into their lives. One aspect of growing
older is all the things you give up along the way: your freedom, your health,
your mobility, your career, your hobbies, your home, your car, as well as your
ability to go to church, cook, do chores, etc.—everything that once defined you
in your “previous” life is slowly taken from you. For some, even the memories from that past
life are taken from them.
All of this loss begs the question, “When everything is stripped away,
who am I?” We usually define ourselves
by things like our job, where we live, and our family. Without those things we are often at a
loss. “I used to be a plumber.” “I used to live on Wilson Ave. in Fall
Creek.” People may describe themselves
in terms of what they no longer have; but who are you really? What about describing ourselves by the things
we value or our character qualities or personality traits? “I like to laugh and make people laugh; I
value honesty in people; I love God and am thankful for Jesus’ sacrifice on my
behalf; Although I love to talk and be around people, I also am kind of shy so
I value my ‘alone time’ as well as my ‘people time.’” Now we are getting to the heart of who we
truly are.
I have found that many things that we enjoy and take for granted for
majority of our lives can be stripped away in a moment’s notice. It can throw you off balance and you feel
like you have lost contact with who you are.
I think this is why some amputees struggle with the loss of a limb. It changes your life and, at least
temporarily, strips you of the things that you identify yourself with.
If I am a runner and suddenly can no longer run—who am I? We often overlook how adaptive we are as
people and that many things from our past life we will eventually resume
(sometimes in a modified form). “Right
now I cannot run; but soon I will be able to walk again and after that, who
knows my limits? We’ll see if run
again. Maybe I’ll take up bicycle riding
instead!” After my mother lost her
health, she was restricted from doing some of the things she loved in the
manner that she wanted to do them.
Unfortunately her attitude was “my life is over and I have nothing to
live for.” Beyond a certain point she
was unable or unwilling to adapt to her new situation so she lost interest in
life. I was sad to see that she never
really recaptured the joy of living. I
know other people who have responded to loss in their lives in a similar
manner. People who are widowed face a
very difficult struggle. They no longer
have a very large and important part of their identity. They grieve terribly over the loss of their
loved one and everything that they meant in their lives. No longer a couple, not really feeling like a
single.
No matter what loss we suffer—there is still life after loss, and it is
a life worth living because we never know what is just around the bend. Yes, we may have to give up a number of
things that used to be an important part of our previous life; but we might
just discover a whole new world open up before us because of our new
circumstances. Life is an
adventure. So take that journey one day
at a time and look forward to what you’ll discover in the day ahead. You might find a new skill, a new hobby, a
new friend, and even a brand-new you!
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