Update:
On Monday, I
slipped and fell on some hidden ice at the end of my driveway while shoveling
snow. One minute I was standing upright
and the next moment my feet flew out from underneath me and I was flat on my
back with the air knocked out of me. After
lying there a moment to catch my breath and figure out if I had broken
anything, I tried to get up. It is a
little more difficult for me to get up off the ground with my prosthesis
anyway; but it was really tough on this sheet of glare ice. I was sore the rest of the day with lots of
aches and pains, especially my right elbow.
This morning on Tuesday, I am happy to report that I am doing fine and
almost all the pain has faded. I am so
thankful that I didn’t damage my elbow, I rely upon my upper body strength so
much. Whew! Escaped from that one okay.
I had an
appointment with my prosthetist to tweak my current leg just a little bit more before
I leave for a conference in Chicago all week.
I’ve been having major debilitating pain with my current socket, which
is why they are in the process of building me another one which they hope will
solve the problem. Monday’s appointment was an attempt to reduce
the pain as much as possible so I can be comfortable at the conference which is
tough because I hurt when I walk, when I stand, when I sit, with the leg on or
with the leg off—and I have a multitude of different pains. So although it was no easy task, I’d say
overall that was accomplished. I told
Karen that the highest level of pain was reduced even though the mid-level pain
was increased. I think the trade-off
will be worth it.
I’ve been
having numerous different pains while walking which has severely reduced the
number of steps I take each day. Sometimes
walking sets off phantom pain which tells me that I’ve severely sprained my
ankle (in my left non-existent foot).
Even though I know it hasn’t happened—the pain is extremely real. I was talking with Leah, my prosthetist, and
mentioned how I am taking the max dosage of Tylenol and Ibuprofen in order to
make it through the day. The pain
relievers take the edge off but don’t completely stop the pain. I’ve found that the constant pain really
drains me emotionally and physically.
Sort of like leaving the dome light on in your car overnight. It doesn’t drain off much power; but it can
be enough that the car won’t start in the morning. Consequently, I’ve been needing more sleep to
recharge—about 9 to 10 hours per day. I
don’t have any trouble sleeping through the night! That’s when Leah stopped me. She told me that typically amputees have
phantom pains at night and cannot sleep because of the pain and they have very
little pain while walking during the day.
Just another evidence that I AM UNIQUE!
That is totally opposite of my experience. I am probably headed towards some
experimentation with drugs to see if medication will reduce my pain levels if
the next test socket doesn’t alleviate my problems.
I also received
an eye injection with Avastin yesterday.
My retinal specialist took a lot of pictures and various scans as
well. The good news is that my vision
has improved slightly while the damage and swelling in my eye has remained the
same. The hope is that the monthly
injections will reverse some of the damage; but he was pleased that the damage
has not continued to progress. I also
found out that typically it takes about two years of treatment before
significant improvement is made (if it happens at all). If there is improvement, the injections can
be spread out or possibly discontinued.
I’ve just completed my first year of injections, so I have a ways to
go. There are two drugs currently being
used to treat people with my eye problems.
We discussed switching over to the other drug which some have found to
work more effectively. Amazingly, this
drug cost over $2,000 per dose! That
would be over $48,000 per year!
Crazy! My doctor said that
depending on your insurance, the co-pay alone could be excessive. I have excellent insurance with no co-pay
(and we are paying for that option) but we are checking to make certain that
they cover the medication before we switch.
The first
twenty-four hours after the injection are painful. It feels like someone poked you in the eye
with a sharp stick (I wonder why that is?
Ha Ha—because they did!). It
takes a day for the vision to clear up and it feels like you’ve got a boat load
of sand in your eye in the meantime. They
recommend that you take Tylenol and go to bed immediately after the injection
and sleep off the first few, more painful hours. Last night from 8-11 p.m. I had EXTREME pain
in my eye. I couldn’t sleep. I could barely stand it! The max dose of extra strength Tylenol didn’t
touch it at all. I was about to call in
to get some heavy-duty pain meds when it finally subsided. WOW! That was intense! Thankfully the pain diminished and I was able
to get to sleep with just the normal level of discomfort. This morning everything is “normal.” The eye is uncomfortable but looks and feels
like it should at this point.
At noon
today, I am leaving for Chicago for a theological conference held by my
denomination. It is being held on the
campus of our university where my son-in-law is attending school. So I get to spend the week at my daughter,
Ruth’s. The conference runs from 8 a.m.
to 9 p.m. each day, but I will get to eat breakfast each morning and spend the
evening before and after the conference with the kids. I look forward to that and to filling my
brain with all sorts of info gathered from the ten different main sessions. I am concerned about how well I will do at
the conference because I have pain when I walk or sit; with my leg on or with
my leg off. My daughter lives on the
second floor (stairs that I have to climb each day) and my wheelchair won’t go
into her bathroom. It is too far for me
to walk on campus so I’ll have to ride in my wheelchair but also need to walk
some because sitting too long is painful.
It’s going to be a bit complicated as I carry the attachments for the
wheelchair for when I have my leg on and also the attachment for when I have
the leg off; because I won’t be able to last all day and night one way or the
other. I’ll have to put my leg on to get
down the stairs. Then I’ll ride my wheelchair to the conference. During the conference, I’ll do some walking. Then eventually I’ll have to take my leg off
and use the wheelchair at the conference.
Then I’ll need to put my leg back on to get up the stairs at my daughter’s
apartment. All I need is a tent and I
could be a full-blown circus! Life was
certainly less complicated when I had two fully functional legs; nevertheless,
I am thankful for the challenge and the ability that I have to enjoy and
experience life.
Thought for the Day:
John Maxwell
writes, “No choice will determine the success of your attitude change more than
desiring to change… As long as we have acceptable options, we will not
change. There seems to be three times in
our lives when we’re most receptive to change. First, when we hurt so much that
we are forced to change… Secondly,
receptivity to change is also heightened when we are bored and become restless… Third, change is apt to occur when we realize
that we can change… Nothing sparks the
fire of desire more than the sudden realization that you do not have to stay
the same… Life is a changing
process. With all of its transitions
come new opportunities for growth…
Accept the following statement for your life: ‘The days ahead are filled
with changes that are my challenges. I
will respond to these opportunities with confidence that my life will be better
because of them. With God all things are
possible.’” [John Maxwell, How High Will
You Climb?]
Change is
inevitable—growth is not. Every one of
us knows someone who got ‘stuck’ in their development. They seemed to be growing along with life and
then eventually they hit an invisible wall that stops them dead. We’ve all seen older adults who cannot keep
up with technology—that is an example.
Change happens so fast now a days that it can be hard to keep up. Graduation from High School; close friends
move away; having your job position downsized; experiencing a major injury or
illness; aging and losing some abilities and freedom; even a positive change
like getting married or having a baby creates a new environment to which we
must adapt.
Sometimes
change is hard. Occasionally change
seems unbearable. A few changes are
pleasant and desired. Anything that
breaks our normal routine can be a challenge to us. We grow use to and comfortable with “how
things have always been done.” Routines
and traditions have their place; but sometimes they can also become a rut. We can begin to merely exist rather than
experience and enjoy life.
At some
points in our lives we are allowed a choice.
Do I want to take this path? Or will I take the second option? At other points in our lives it is like we’ve
been abducted and forced into the back of van that speeds away in the
night. Everything is out of our control
and we have no choice. At least that is
how it seems. The truth is, we always
have a choice. We have the choice of how
we will respond to what is occurring. We
have the choice to whether to give up or to use this as an opportunity for
growth. Will we choose to see this as an
adventure or as a burden? You often have
little choice at what get thrown at you in life—you do have a choice in how
your will respond to it. It’s going to
happen whether you like it or not. So
will you fight it kicking and screaming or will you allow it to fuel your growth
and character development?
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