Tuesday (3/3/2015)

Update:

Karen and I had a great time in Chicago over the weekend with our daughter, Ruth, and her husband.  We got to see Trinity International University’s production “Fiddler of the Roof.”  I think it was the best production of Fiddler I have ever seen.  The first-time actor playing Tevye was phenomenal!  We had lunch after church on Sunday at the Cheesecake Factory—yummy food; but no cheesecake for me (sad face).  My wife and Ruth got to spend Sunday afternoon together and we got a tour of where Ruth works on Monday morning before we left for home.

Trinity is where I got my Master’s degree.  Karen hasn’t been back since I graduated in 1989.  We were able to take a side trip to see the house we lived in for the first year (in Waukegan, IL) and then the apartment that we lived in on campus for the remainder of our time.  Our son, David, was born in Waukegan (photo of small house) and our daughter, Ruth, was born in Bannockburn while I was in school there (photo of ground floor apartment).  So it was a special trip for my wife.

I’ve been in the wheelchair all week after developing a pain in my remaining right foot.  I’ve been taking entirely too much Tylenol and ibuprofen to combat the pain.   Except for transfers into and out of the wheelchair, I’ve been off my foot.  Talk about a pain!  (pun intended).  This afternoon (Tuesday) I have an appointment with my podiatrist to determine what is going on.

Sometimes you get a pain in your foot and you stay off of it for a day or two and everything is back to normal.  It has been a week now for me and the foot still hurts.  Not a good sign! 

If the doctor wants me to be totally non-weight bearing on the right foot—I’m going to be in trouble.  With my prosthesis causing pain in my left foot and then having to take the leg off, etc.  I really don’t know how I can do it.  At the very least, I’ll need to be sent to physical therapy to learn some new skills.  This could be a whole new ballgame for me. 

My wife and I were talking about my limitations and she said that my job right now is on “the Business of Living.”  Everything that I do takes more time and energy, especially now that I am in the wheelchair 24/7.   With all the pain I’ve been having for the last several months, my energy levels have dropped.  I’m sleeping 8-10 hours per day, I tire easily, and spend most of my time getting ready to do things (rather than actually doing them).

For instance, it’s snowing right now and they’re forecasting anywhere from 1-4 inches of the white stuff.  I have my doctor’s appointment this afternoon that I have to get to.  I had planned to get myself to the doctor’s office and then have one of the kids “on call” in case I couldn’t drive home.  Now with the snow that has to change.  Think of pushing a full shopping cart loaded with groceries through a snow covered parking lot.  That’s about how well my wheelchair works.  Since I cannot walk, I have to get someone to shovel my ramp and a path out to the truck.  Unloading at the doctor’s office could be a major hassle through a snow covered parking lot. Getting back up the ramp at home by myself in the wheelchair could be challenging (or impossible) in the snow—so now I need someone to help me get back in the house.  Whew!  After some phone calls, I’ve got a plan worked out and people lined up to help me—things were much simpler when I didn’t need to rely upon anybody else. 

I encountered a delay at my retinal specialist’s appointment yesterday.  For the last eight months, I have been getting monthly eye injections to stabilize the deterioration of my vision.  The doctor wants to try a different medication to see if the swelling in my retina will reduce more.  The catch is getting verification from the insurance company prior to the switch.  The new medication costs $2,000 per dose.  My doctor has had trouble in the past getting pre-authorization from some insurance companies but then after the treatment, they deny the claim and force the patient to pay for the medication.  At $4,000 per month, that is a lot of money for us to potentially have to pay out.  So we are trying to ensure it really will be covered.  The doctor gave us the codes, etc. to talk to our insurance company; but they refused to talk to us saying that the doctor needs to send in the pre-authorization form.  So we are getting run around.  Karen is going to try to get through to someone who will definitively answer the question so that we can feel comfortable in authorizing the doctor to proceed with the new medication.  My doctor said that with some insurance companies, they have to go through this pre-authorization hassle each month even though this kind of treatment typically last 1-2 years.  It means an extra doctor’s visit for me each month doing an evaluation and then having to come back twice more for the actual injections.  I am thankful for my wife’s involvement—I know she will pursue the question until she gets a definitive answer.  I’ve got to say that I know most people utilizing our medical system don’t need the extra hassle of wading through insurance paperwork on top of everything else they are going through.

Thought for the Day:

Warren Wiersbe, in his book, “The Bumps Are What You Climb On” says that there are three truths that we must learn about disappointments as recorded in Jeremiah 10:19

Jeremiah 10:19 “Woe is me for my hurt! My wound is grievous: but I said, Truly this is a grief, and I must bear it.” (JKJV) 

The first truth is that we must 1) Expect disappointments.  The second truth is that 2) Our disappointments are in the hands of God.  The third truth is that 3) We must yield to God’s will and let Him heal our broken hearts and fulfill His desires.  [Warren Wiersbe, The Bumps Are What You Climb On]. 

If we expect everything to turn out perfectly in our lives; it is a bitter disappointment when they do not.  We don’t win every game we play as a child.  Defeat and losing can be bitter pills to swallow; but that is reality isn’t it?  Not every dream will come true.  Sometimes it will rain on the day you planned to go on a picnic.  People will disappoint you.  The promotion at work that you strived for may remain elusive.  Even your own body will fail you eventually.  Life is filled with disappointments.  Each one of us could easily make a list of our “Top Ten Disappointments.”  This isn’t to say that life is also filled with incredible joys and happiness too; this is a recognition that not everything turns out the way we want it.  Most of us don’t get a fairytale ending to our story.  So expect disappointments and you won’t be disappointed (LOL).  When you know things may happen, it makes it a bit easier to take.  It also is helpful when we are hit with disappointments to remember that every human being faces them—it is not just us being singled out for this distinction.  And disappointments really do hurt.    

Furthermore as a Christian, I need to remember that when disappointments come along in my life, God was not surprised by their appearance.   In fact, God in His sovereignty has specifically allowed them in my life and He has a plan and purpose for them to fulfill.  These are not merely random cosmic events, although they might appear to be so.  God plans to use those events in my life for a greater good and a higher purpose, regardless of whether I know and desire them to happen. 

This doesn’t mean that disappointments don’t hurt; it just means that I can humbly accept what is happening because I know it comes from the hand of God who loves me and wants the best of me.  When I was a child and asked my parents for permission to stay overnight at a friend’s house—it was disappointing when they said no.  But it never occurred to me that they refused my request because they hated me or didn’t care about me.  I knew they loved me and had their reasons for not fulfilling my request.  I trust God in the same fashion.

Now I could choose to fight against these disappointments and become angry and upset because God has allowed them to “ruin my life!”  But ultimately what good would that do me?  My attitude would not change what happened.  All it would do is make it harder for me to endure what was happening. These events would make me bitter instead of better.  A better response to disappointments to recognize that God can use them to make me a better person, so I should keep a better attitude towards them. 

Over time, with the right attitude, God can heal my broken heart.  In place of the desire that didn’t occur in my life, He can give me something better.  Not just a substitute; but an improvement on what I was seeking.  That is God’s plan and purpose. 

Some of the disappointments that we face are rather minor.  It doesn’t take too much to get over them.  Other disappointments may takes weeks or months to overcome  Whether is a serious relationship that is broken, a loss of a job, or a major debilitating illness, some disappointments are hard to handle.  We must remember that God’s timing is perfect and He doesn’t make mistakes.  We may not be able to understand what He is seeking to accomplish; but we don’t really have to as long as we trust Him.

So whatever you face today or in the coming weeks, remember that disappointments are a normal part of life; that disappointments are in the hands of God; and that He can bring healing to our broken hearts and accomplish His purpose through them.  So be at peace.  Take a deep breath.  Put it all into perspective.  Admit that it hurts; but then go beyond the hurt to the God who makes all things work according to His plan and purpose.  It takes an act of faith to trust that God is really in control; but that shouldn’t surprise us. It is a comfort just to remember that God is working behind the scenes and He has us in mind the entire time.