Update:
I’ve been
having a reoccurring pain in my hip ever since I had my amputation. It seemed to happen when I had my residual
limb extended straight out in front of me while sitting in my wheelchair. At the time, I was having lots of aches and
pains and sore muscles as my physical therapist was putting me through my
paces. He suggested that it was a tendon
that was causing my pain and I should lie face down on the floor for a few
minutes to relieve the pain. So I’ve
been doing that for the last year but it has been getting more and more
frequent. When it hurts, I am in agony
and quickly get to the floor for relief.
I recently mentioned to my Physical Rehab Doctor that the pain was
increasing in frequency and I was having to get on the floor more often and wondered
if there was anything else I should be doing.
That started a long string of questions after she told me that she never
knew about this pain. I really didn’t
remember who told me how to find relief—my wife remembered that it was my
PT. Sooooo… the Doctor scheduled me for
an appointment for my hip pain (which was yesterday). After examining me, she suspects that it is
nerve pain and ordered an MRI be done of my spine. She said that this nerve issue may be the
cause of all of my pain in my residual limb and why I cannot really function in
a prosthesis. Huh! She seemed pretty excited about this. She told me that depending upon the outcome
of the MRI, she would refer me to the pain clinic and that I might find relief
from all my pain with treatment there.
Wow! Unfortunately, I have no idea of what the name of my possible
condition is. If you can’t name it—it’s
hard to Google! Quite frankly, the idea
of having nerve damage or irritation in the spine unnerves me (did you catch
what I just wrote—funny!). Maybe it will
all turn out okay, but I feel like I am tumbling deeper and deeper into the
rabbit hole. I just want the pain in my
leg to stop hurting so I can wear my prosthesis and walk, do all the stuff I
want to do again. And I wouldn’t mind if
the pain in my hip quit hurting too. But
another MRI. Another potential
problem. Another hope that may
evaporate. Just one more thing. It is all rather overwhelming to me right
now. I think that I am supposed to be
happy or at least hopeful—maybe we’ve found the solution and answer to all the
problems I’ve been having over the last five months. Instead there is a gloom or shadow hanging
over me and I’m steeling myself against future disappointment although I have
no clue what it is I’m facing it. Whew! What a mess our emotions can sling all over
us!
Instead of
focusing upon my emotions and lack of knowledge, I should choose to rely upon
some factual information. I trust my
Rehab Doctor. She seemed pleased to
discover this possibility. She seemed to
radiate hope because of this discovery.
She has a vast knowledge and experience.
She knows what we’re looking for with the MRI. The doctor knows what the treatment options
are and how successful they are. As I
have found in the medical field, the patient is always the last to know. Doctors don’t want to spend time (or have the
time) explaining a multitude of possibilities when you can just be patient and
get the test results and find out exactly what you need to talk about. Maybe that is how we who are being treated
got named “patient” because that is what we have to be (patient).
I know
enough in general terms that I should be satisfied. I have lots of phantom pain and nerve pain in
my residual limb and in my hip. These
various pains may be related. The source
of the nerve pain may be in my spine. An
MRI will reveal what is going on. The
results of that test may indicate that I should go to the Pain Center for
evaluation and treatment. Treatment may
relieve all of my pain symptoms. Eventually
all of the fine details will be explained to me. Therefore I should CHILAX, BRO! Sometimes that is easier said than done.
Everything
you read so far was written yesterday.
Now today on Friday morning, I am much more at peace about it all. I’ve had time to absorb the news, talk with
my wife, pray about it, sleep on it, and process it. My MRI is scheduled for Monday morning, April
13. It always has to be scheduled at
least a week out to get approval from the insurance company; it has nothing to
do with patient care (Oophs! Did I let my frustration show?).
After the
MRI is read, I’ll find out what is next on my journey towards health. I am fully committed to working towards
improving my health. Let me share a
couple of sobering statistics with you.
April is Limb Loss Awareness month.
About 2 million Americans have had a limb amputated. Over 500 additional people per day undergo an
amputation in the USA. Now here are the
scary facts:
FACT #1:
Nearly half of the individuals who have an amputation due to vascular disease
will die within 5 years.
FACT #2: Of
people with diabetes who have had a lower extremity amputation up to 55% will
require amputation of the second leg within 2-3 years.
[Statistics
from the Amputee Coalition: http://www.amputee-coalition.org/limb-loss-resource-center/resources-by-topic/limb-loss-statistics/limb-loss-statistics/]
My situation
falls within these categories. That is why I am working so hard on my diet,
exercise, and lifestyle so I can beat these odds. This is why I try to follow my doctors’
orders. I don’t plan on becoming a
statistic anytime soon!
Right now, I
am in quite a bit of pain. It isn’t
always constant. The medications that I
am currently on help take the edge off of the pain so I can do more. Although that isn’t a lot of extra activity,
it is more than I was able to do. Right
now, if I can go to the gym to work out or swim, ride my bicycle, and do an
errand or two—that’s a good day. I
usually pay for it with increased pain afterwards and the pain in my hip seems
to be growing more constant; but that is life.
And I will take whatever good I can squeeze out of my day and enjoy it
to the fullest.
Thought for the Day:
It’s Holy
Week, just prior to Easter and as a believer (a Christian), I’ve been dwelling
on the days leading up to the crucifixion, death and resurrection of Jesus
Christ. Two very similar, but different
events stood out for me this year. Here
are the scriptures:
Luke 7:36-50 “One of
the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee's house
and reclined at the table. And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner,
when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee's house,
brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet,
weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair
of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. Now when
the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this
man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who
is touching him, for she is a sinner." And Jesus answering said to him,
"Simon, I have something to say to you." And he answered, "Say
it, Teacher." "A certain
moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other
fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of
them will love him more?" Simon
answered, "The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger
debt." And he said to him, "You have judged rightly." Then
turning toward the woman he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I
entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet
with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the
time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head
with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her
sins, which are many, are forgiven-- for she loved much. But he who is forgiven
little, loves little." And he said to her, "Your sins are
forgiven." Then those who were at table with him began to say among
themselves, "Who is this, who even forgives sins?" And he said to the
woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."
Mark
14:3-9 And while he was at Bethany in the
house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an
alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask
and poured it over his head. There were some who said to themselves
indignantly, "Why was the ointment wasted like that? For this ointment could have been sold for
more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor." And they scolded
her. But Jesus said, "Leave her
alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. For you always have the poor with you, and
whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me. She has done what she could; she has anointed
my body beforehand for burial. And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is
proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of
her." (See parallel accounts in Matthew
26:6-13; John
12:1-8).
Both of these women
demonstrated their appreciation for what Jesus was accomplishing for them. The first woman was known as a sinful woman,
scorned in her community. She probably only
had people look on her with condemnation; but Jesus looked on her with
compassion and forgiveness. Her response
was gratitude so deep that she wept. She
wept at his feet. Such a degrading
position! But she did it in response to
an even greater accomplishment. She had
been set free from the weight of her sins!
She was free and in that joyousness, she demonstrated her gratefulness in
an amazing fashion.
The second woman took
what probably represented her retirement funds and literally poured it over the
head of Jesus. Again it was an act of
loving devotion. It was an act of honoring
this man that she had come to recognize as Savior. I rather doubt that she knew that in her act
she was anointing Jesus for burial; but that is the significance that Jesus
placed upon the act. His death was imminent. He knew that circumstances would cause the
traditional burial rites of the Jewish people to be set aside. In the midst of all the hatred, scorn, and
abuse he was about to receive—this woman’s act reminded Jesus why He was about
to do what He had to do.
Both women’s actions
challenge me to look within my heart to ask myself how deeply I love my
Savior. They challenge me to ponder if I have
sacrificed the things I hold onto and treasure.
They force me to question if I understand the enormity of my sinfulness
that has been forgiven by Christ’s sacrifice.
As Jesus told Simon the Pharisee, he who is forgiven much—loves much and
he who is forgiven little—loves little.
It’s really not about how many sins you’ve committed as much as
understanding the weight of even one of your sins and the cost of freedom from
it. Then when you compound that weight
with the number of sins throughout your lifetime, you can begin to understand
the enormity of the act of Christ’s forgiveness and consequently should love
Him much. I believe that much of the superficiality
of my response to God is due to a shallowness of my understanding of what I
have received. That God would open my
eyes so that I may see! And may He do
that for everyone else as well!
God bless you this
Easter season! May your eyes be open and
your heart be filled with love so that you may worship deeply!
