Update:
I had a
great week visiting with my brother. It
was awesome getting to spend time with him and it was a great encouragement to
me. He left to go back home to Missouri
this morning. I certainly don’t envy his
550 mile drive today; but I appreciate the time and energy he took to come
visit me. Thanks, bro!
I had an
ultrasound done on Monday to check out some suspect areas on my kidneys. I have a new found hatred for lying flat on
my back on tables at the hospital. So
painful!!! That 45 minutes on the table
produced pain in my back that lasted all the rest of the day. It wasn’t necessarily intense sharp pain but
it continually ground away. Misquoting a
line from the movie “Serenity” that my brother and I watched this week, the
pain severely “damaged my calm.” It
lingered and hovered over everything else that we did that day. It also affected my sleep. Prior to my amputation, I’ve always slept on
my side. Only recently have I been able
to do it again. I’ve been forced to
learn how to sleep on my back. After 55
years of sleeping on your side, that is a hard-earned trick. Well last night, sleeping on my back wasn’t
an option. It was just uncomfortable
enough that I couldn’t sleep. Sleeping
on my left side didn’t work either, my back wouldn’t let me. I was able to find some rest on my right
side; but even that didn’t last too long.
At 3:50 a.m. I gave up and got up.
Everything began to hurt as soon as I was in my wheelchair. I can’t wait until next Monday when I go to
the Pain Clinic at the hospital for a steroid injection. I’m really hoping that takes away the
pain. Until then, if I don’t seem my
normal, chipper self—just realize that I am dealing with fairly constant pain. It’s not as severe of pain as some of my
friends are enduring; but it is beating me down.
That being
said, in my spirit I am still upbeat and positive. I don’t understand why things have been
heading this way. I don’t get why I keep
getting knocked down. But what I do know
is that God hasn’t abandoned me. In
fact, every time that I get knocked down, He helps me get back up again. This isn’t a sign that God doesn’t love me;
instead it is just the opposite—His love for me is demonstrated over and over
and over again.
2
Corinthians 12:8-10 “Three times I
pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, "My grace
is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power
of Christ may rest upon me. 10
For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships,
persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
I’m taking this verse to include my physical pain
and my medical setbacks. “When I am
weak, then I am strong.” When I am
physically weak and I am at the end of my strength to endure; it is at that
moment when God steps in and enables me to go the next mile; to get up and take
one more step; to face the day of uncertainty (about my life and health and
future) with certainty that He is at my side and will assist me. He
gives me confidence and puts a smile on my face.
I am reminded that I came within a hair’s breadth
of dying on Thanksgiving Day 2013 and that means that every day since then that
I continue to live is a gift from God.
Some days are brighter and sunnier that other days; but even the days
that are cold and stormy have their beauty.
I choose to enjoy every one that I am given.
No comments:
Post a Comment