Pictures (December 2013)

Some Photos from Along the Journey.  

Prior to Hospitalization:  

At Hospital and After Amputation (Dec 2013):

Tuesday (12/31/13):

Update

Today, Karen and I have been married 36 years!  I am so grateful to my wife.  She has always been there for me—now more than ever.  “For richer & for poorer; in sickness & in health” Yes Siree, we are putting those vows to the test!  And I am happy to report that this event in our lives has drawn us closer together as a couple.  We don’t enjoy partying too much—so a nice quiet, evening together at home suits us just fine as we celebrate our relationship and our love.

Back in my Army days (early 1980’s) something you heard and sang all the time were “Jodie Calls” whenever troops were moving in formation and needed to stay in step.  You usually heard them in the early morning when all the units did their PT (physical training), especially when we would go on our daily two mile run.  One of them comes to mind all of the time now.  “Up in the morning; ‘fore the break of day; I don’t like it; No way!  Eat my breakfast; too soon!  Hungry again; ‘fore noon.”  Now me getting up at 4:30 a.m. Tuesday-Saturday and eating breakfast with my wife at 5:20 a.m. epitomizes the song.  Last night I kept my eyes open until 9:30 p.m. and fell asleep within minutes once my head hit the pillow.  Of course I woke up at 1:30 a.m. and couldn’t get back to sleep until 3 a.m. That alarm at 4:30 a.m. came way too soon.  So if you ever see emails from me or FB posts in the middle of the night—it’s during that “I can’t get back to sleep time” that I have every night. I figure I might as well get something done while I am awake.  No wonder I take a nap every day (besides the beauty rest thing, I mean—which I am WAY behind on, if you haven’t noticed J ).

Yesterday, my son, David, came over to spend the evening with me.  At my request he figured out how to get the ironing board set up low enough for me to do my own ironing.  It takes a lot more energy in a wheelchair—but now I don’t have to ask someone else to iron a shirt for me.  I keep Karen busy enough just taking care of me—she doesn’t have the energy to do it for me.  All the kids are happy now that I won’t be asking them to do it.  It always bothers me to put on a shirt that isn’t crisp and wrinkle-free.  So now I can take care of my own pet peeve and not bother anyone else with it. 

My daughter, Ruth, and her husband, Cody, will be heading back to Chicago today.  It was nice to have them spend the week.  Cody played “Words with Friends” (electronic form of Scrabble) with me yesterday and walloped me.  One of his words scored 125 points.  Ouch!  That’s a beating that is hard to get over!  They haven’t left yet and I miss them already.  We’ll get to see Ruth in a few weeks as she comes back for a wedding and then again the next weekend for Karen’s upcoming play.

Wilford (a church leader) is coming by today to pick me up and we are going out to pray for Mel (my paraplegic friend).  Mel has been having extreme pain for the last month and it seems to be getting worse.  They think it is scar tissue in the vertebrae squeezing the spinal cord.  Not much they can do for it except surgery.  Mel has another two weeks before his appointment with his surgeon in Rochester, MN.  Would you please pray that the pain would be reduced and that doctors can find a way to remove the pain altogether?  Please pray for his wife, Judy, as well.  It is terrible to have to watch a loved one suffer in pain when there is nothing you can do for them.  Pray for God’s peace, courage, and strength.  I told Mel that I have a bit of “survivor’s guilt” when I hear about his extreme pain while I am almost completely pain free.  Take a few moments to thank God for your health.  No matter what you might be suffering—it could be worse—much worse.  Thank God that it is not.

Thought for the Day:

My wife was very pleased this morning at breakfast to hear that I had figured out how to iron my own clothes.  Her thought is that I will feel better the more I can do for myself—and I agree.  If you have been reading my updates all along you know that I was excited when I figured out how to dress myself, when I could get myself up out of bed, when I could go to the bathroom by myself, when I found out that I can go out on the front porch by myself, etc., etc., etc.  Everything that can do for myself I believe is a victory.  I am constantly striving to do more and more on my own and to reclaim my independence.

We see a similar sense of growth and development in a child and we praise them for each step towards maturity that they take.  We are excited when they are potty trained, when they can tie their own shoes, when they can feed themselves, when they learn to ride a bicycle, when they graduate from high school, when they get a job, etc., etc., etc.

Why do we get excited about that?  Personally, what drives us to continue to stretch and reach for the stars?  I think God built that right into our very being.  Otherwise we would all end up being couch potatoes and rely upon everyone else to do everything for us.  Parents are disappointed when their kids “fail to launch.”  Every parent wants to hear the pediatrician say, “your child is developing right on schedule.”  It is a cause for concern when our child is developmentally arrested.

And so it is spiritually.  Our relationship with God should not be static.  It should be growing deeper and fuller.  Our own spiritual health should be improving and increasing constantly.  Here are two bible passages to ponder:

Matthew 5:48  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

2 Peter 3:18     But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

Perfect!  Whoa!  Getting better or becoming more Christ­-like, I can see; but perfect?  Unless we change the definition, I don’t think we’ll get there.  And that is true, ultimately we will not be perfect until we reach heaven and receive our glorified bodies.  But there is a sense in which we can be said to be perfect.  Warren Wiersbe in his book, “Everyday Wisdom from the Gospels” gives the illustration of a pediatrician completing a physical on a toddler and declares, “He’s perfect.”  The doctor is not suggesting that the child is without any flaws.  He is saying that developmentally the child is exactly where he should be for that age.  In that sense we might be said to be perfect as we strive to become more like Christ who actually was.

The implication is that we should be growing and developing as a person and as a Christian.  It’s New Year’s Eve which is a traditional time to reminisce and consider ways to improve yourself.  People often make New Year’s resolutions.  This year spend some time thinking and resolving how you can become a better you!  I would encourage you to attend church regularly.  Read your bible and pray regularly (daily should be your goal).  Get involved in a small group or a discipleship relationship so you can be encouraged and challenged.  Don’t just make God a part of your life on Sunday, make Him a part of your daily life.  Don’t just go through the motions—but allow these things to touch your heart and soul.  It isn’t about getting your ticket punched by attending church.  It is about engaging your heart and soul and let it be touched by God. 

This might be a new concept to you, so if you want to talk about it you can contact me or your own pastor who should be able to help you in your walk with God.   

Whatever you do seek to GROW so that at this time next year, you can look back and after evaluation, say, “I am a better person and closer to God than I was last year.”

Monday (12/30/13)

Update:

Don’t forget that all my updates and thoughts can be found on my blog site: stevenhurd.blogspot.com My site is entitled: One Foot Forward.  I am still adding content like pictures and links, but the updates and thoughts are all there.  If there is someone that you know who would be interested, feel free to pass my blog address along to them.

Our Hurd family Christmas gathering on Saturday was very enjoyable.  All the children and their significant others were able to be there for the meal and gift exchange.  Ruth and Jon spent much of the day in the kitchen preparing the meal.  It always amazes me how long it takes to prepare for a meal and how long it takes to clean up compared to the few short minutes of actually eating the food.  In years past, my contribution was usually putting away the food after the meal, clearing the table, rinsing the dishes and starting the first load in the dishwasher.  It felt strange not being able to do that this year.  Although before the meal I was able to scrub the inside of the oven door.  It had gotten gunky and was burning off when other things baked.  So I made that contribution.  Good thing the rest of the oven wasn’t dirty, I wouldn’t have been able to reach that in the wheelchair.  For Christmas, the kids got me a shower phone to replace the old shower head.  Now I can direct the water flow where I want while sitting on my shower stool.  It feels so good to shower and not do a sponge bath.

I have one more week until I return to the surgeon to get my remaining staples removed.  He said at that time, we would set up physical therapy to begin preparing my stump for a prosthesis.  I can hardly wait.  I feel like a little kid waiting for Christmas!  I am much more comfortable and confident as I move about.  I continually try new things to see what I can accomplish on my own.  Many things are still “out of reach” but I enjoy doing for myself whatever that I can.  I have been sitting so much that I enjoy just standing up for few minutes while hanging onto the walker for balance.  I can’t wait to be more mobile again.  I hope that I don’t have to wear the leg brace for much longer while I sleep (I don’t know when or even if I won’t have to yet).  I look forward to sleeping on my left side again.  That will be wonderful!

Up to this point, my wife has been checking my blood sugar levels and then giving me insulin as needed.  Yesterday, I started doing it myself.  Now I can’t complain too much if I don’t hold steady and I feel the needle prick.  Along with everything else, I’ve tried to be wise slowing adding things back into my life, without pushing too hard and too fast.  I think if I had to do it all myself right after getting out of the hospital, it would have been too much.  As it is, I am ready and it feels right.  Having some control and not always passively receiving someone else’s care feels good.

Next Sunday, I will lead the worship service.  It is Communion Sunday, so I’ll have to figure out exactly how that will work with my wheelchair; handing out trays, etc.  I will also be speaking but since it is a Communion Sunday, it will be a shorter devotional; that will make preparation easier.  This week I will work from home and not try to go to the office, but it will be a first step back towards working full-time again.  Just actually going to my office at the church would take a lot out of me, so I’ll save that energy output and use it towards actually getting some work done.

Thought for the Day: 

Here is a famous quote attributed to Blaise Pascal, a seventeenth-century mathematician, scientist, and Christian philosopher:  “There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus.”   Researchers have determined that Pascal didn’t actually say that, although he said something close: “…because the infinite abyss can only be filled by an infinite and immutable object, that is to say, only by God Himself.”  Pascal was discussing the tendency of people to seek for happiness and contentment in all sorts of places.  

Back in the 1600’s and now, people search for something that will make them happy.  Some of the more traditional choices have always been power, wealth, fame, achievement, or relationships.  Today we add in distractions such as entertainment, material possessions, and technology.  We aren’t happy—let’s go shopping!  We aren’t fulfilled—let’s earn another degree!  We are kind of blue—let’s make more money!  We are discouraged—let’s eat chocolate and sweets!  We are frustrated with past relationships—let’s find the “right” person and we’ll be satisfied and happy. Nothing makes me happy—let’s go to the movies and forget about it for a while. 

The problem with all these attempts to gain contentment is that they are at best temporary solutions.  “Retail therapy” can run up the credit card debt very high and the “high” that you feel fades within a day or so and then it is off to the store to buy more.  The bottom line is that none of these things will actually accomplish what we are really longing for.  We’ll never be truly satisfied by them.  Someone has quipped, “Money can’t buy happiness.  But it can buy things, which is almost happiness.”  That is until it breaks, wears out, or becomes outdated.  Randy Alcorn in his book, Seeing the Unseen: A Daily Dose of Eternal Perspective, says this, “if I buy into the lie that happiness can be found in wealth, beauty, fame, or any number of endless pursuits besides Christ, I’m doomed to unhappiness because I am pursuing the wrong things.”

The sad part is that our human experience demonstrates that this is true but we still keep trying to get a different result with the same solution over and over again.  Alcorn further says that “We don’t make choices based upon what WILL bring us happiness, but on what we THINK will bring us happiness (no matter how wrong we might be).”

On a personal level, I realize that it is a fantasy for me to believe I would be happy and content if I “only had two legs and could walk again.”  That would be awesome, but it would not bring me lasting happiness.  I remember when I had both feet and it wasn’t a Utopian experience!  I found other things to be unhappy about and I could come up with all sorts of things that “if only this was true” or “if only I had that” I felt that I would be happy.

My problem is trying to fill that infinite abyss with finite things.  It is like believing that we can plug a black hole in space if we only had a big enough cork.  It just won’t work!  The ONLY thing that will fill that longing emptiness in my life is God Himself.  Only as I pursue and continue to develop my relationship with Him will I ever become satisfied.

So how do you attempt to fill that longing, emptiness in your life?  Historically, how has that worked out for you?  Take time to honestly evaluate your life and your contentment and the solutions you’ve tried. 

There is something deep within us that seems to make us turn away from seeking God as a solution to the emptiness inside of us.  Maybe that is pride or rebellion; whatever the cause—don’t discount the only reasonable cure for what ails you.

Take time to be with God in prayer and reading of the bible.  I know each of us is busy, but we always find time to do what we believe to be is important.  Shouldn’t pursuing true happiness and contentment be high up in your priorities?  So turn off the TV, say “No” to some of your activities and make time for God in your life.

Saturday (12/28/13)

Update:

The Hurd family is gathering for Christmas tonight.  Everybody should be here for some special family time.  I am looking forward to seeing everybody and spending time with them.  I’ll try to get people to play Scrabble with me again.  We’ll exchange a few gifts, Ruth is cooking a delicious pork tenderloin, and Karen wants us to sing and play instruments together.  Maybe I’ll borrow a second wheelchair and we’ll have wheelchair races…Oh, Yes!  It may get crazy! J

Yesterday, I was out at the church for about 90 minutes cleaning up from the Christmas Eve Service and then at dinner time, I went to my wife’s office party.  I only lasted about an hour before I needed to go home to recharge.  Two outings in one day—I am turning into a party animal!!    Ruth returned home and wanted to watch a movie.  We got interested in The Help and I stayed up way too late.  Good thing that I really don’t have anything to do on Saturday except this update.  I can take a nap and store up energy for the Hurd Christmas party tonight. 

I am making improvements and gaining confidence.  I found out that I can make it out the front door to the porch and then onto the ramp landing and back inside all by myself.  Getting the doors open while in the wheelchair are a bit tricky; but now I can turn the porch light on and off, unlock the front door and even pick up the newspaper (if they got it near the door).  I also discovered that I can now stretch and turn the bathroom light on and off and flush the toilet without the help of my hamburger flipper.  I’ve gained confidence and have a bit more flexibility than I did before.  That feels good!!!

Tomorrow, I have an old friend preaching for me at church.  Then beginning the first Sunday in January, I plan to be back preaching.  It is not the preaching itself that concerns me, it is having enough energy and mental focus during the week to prepare the message.  My doctor cleared me to go back to work at my own pace.  We’ll we are about to enter a new phase of my recovery.

As has been my practice, since tomorrow is Sunday, I will not post an update again until Monday.

Thought for the Day:  

Warning! Today’s Thought is approached by Steve based upon his evangelical Christian perspective.  I am just expressing what I believe the bible teaches as true. 

One of the things most people with limb amputations deal with is phantom pain.  It can be as simple as feeling like you still have a foot after an amputation; or it can be mentally maddening when you have a persistent itch on something impossible to scratch.  Sometimes there is extreme pain as if the missing limb is injured. 

Our minds and nervous systems are wonderful creations.  In healthy limbs, signals are sent back and forth when pressure or pain is sensed and then the mind gives commands to move the limb out of harm’s way.  This system can work without conscious thought (autonomic nerve system) and we can take over “manual” control decide how we will respond to the stimuli. 

When we are injured and there is a loss of a limb, the nerves running throughout the body are severed.  The signal no longer goes all the way to my toes and back to the brain.  After 56 years, my body KNOWS that I have two feet.  Therefore, my mind supplies that image and the whacked out nerves that were severed continue to send signals that the mind then interprets into feeling or sensations, sometimes mild, sometimes severe.

So far, I haven’t had any real phantom pain, but I have had what I call residual mental images.  I went for days trying to cross my ankles when I was in my recliner.  I would raise my residual limb and start to cross my legs only to realize that I couldn’t do it.  Right now, if I can’t see my stump when I am getting into bed, I try to slip my right slipper or shoe off with my left foot.  My mind thinks that my good buddy, the left foot, is still there.  My surgeon said that many amputees are injured when they get up out of bed in the middle of the night to use the restroom and they forget that they don’t have a foot.  Ouch!

One of the techniques for dealing with this phantom pain in an amputee is to massage the stump while looking at it.  Patting or tapping the end of the stump also helps.  You are helping the mind re-calibrate and establish that the foot is no longer there.  “Hey, brain!  Those messages from the nervous system that you’ve been interpreting from the foot are inaccurate.  The foot that is missing cannot be itching—so cut it out and stop telling me things like that.”

Okay, so here is the spiritual point.  2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”  When we accept Christ as our Savior, there is a change that comes over us.  Our old sin nature is no longer in control, we’ve been set free and been given a new spiritual nature.  Out with the old and in with the new! 

If that is true, then why do we continue to sin?  It is like “Phantom Spiritual Pain.”  We have had years living in sinful ways and making sinful choices.  It is natural and normal.  Although scripture says that we are no longer slaves to sin (See Romans 6:16-22), our minds and bodies are conditioned to act in those old patterns.  We may no longer want to sin, but we feel helplessly drawn to it and we continue in it.  The way we overcome this old nature is to re-calibrate our “Spiritual Nervous System.”  We have to keep rubbing and patting the “spiritual” stump so to speak.  We keep reminding ourselves, “That is no longer who I am.  I am a new creation in Christ.”  The bible says after accepting Christ, we are no longer sinners, we are saints.  That may seem like an unimportant distinction, but think about it.  What do sinners do?  They sin.  What do saints do?  They act in holy and righteous ways. The bible says that according to God, I am no longer a sinner, but I am a saint who occasionally sins.  The more I remind myself of this, the less frequently that my old sinful nature will rear its ugly head.  Spiritually we are a bit like the proverbial chicken that has had its head chopped off but it continues to run around the barnyard.  It’s dead.  It just doesn’t realize it yet.  Spiritually we are dead to sin; we just haven’t realized it yet.  So read scripture and ponder these truths.  Choose to believe what the bible says of you instead of what it feels like to you.  As you do, these “Phantom Spiritual Pains” should decrease and you’ll enjoy your new life in Christ even more.

Friday (12/27/13)

Update:

Right now my biggest struggle revolves around my sitting and sleeping position.  I am always on my backside and it has become more difficult to find a comfortable position.  I am always shifting and leaning this way and that in an attempt to find relief.  Nothing feels good for long.  In bed, I am use to squirming.  I use to constantly change positions from my left side to my right side and back again throughout the night.  At work, I would get up and walk or just stand up every hour or so.  I would adjust my office chair all the time.  Tilt the seat; adjust the lumbar; play with the height.  Now everything is on my backside without much variation.  My rear end gets uncomfortable and there is only so much change that I can manage in the wheelchair, recliner or in my bed.  I know that eventually this season of my life will pass and I’ll get to walk, won’t have my leg brace on as much, and hopefully can resume sleeping on my side.  I long for those days because right now I don’t sleep for more than two hours as a time and I can’t sit in my recliner or wheelchair for very long without it becoming uncomfortable.

Okay, yesterday, I talked about playing the hand that life deals you.  Today, I admit that I don’t like this particular card.  But it is in my hand so I have to play around it and not get so focused upon this one bad card in a hand of mostly good cards.  To paraphrase the Apostle Paul, I need to be content in any “position” I find myself in.   Philippians 4:11b  “…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”   Please pray that I find either relief or am able to be content with the discomfort.

I had a pleasant evening yesterday.  I ate dinner with not only my wife, but my daughter, Ruth and her husband, Cody; as we’ll as my son, Joshua, and his girlfriend, Sarah.  Then we all watched one of my all-time, favorite goofy movies, Rocketman.  I was pretty washed out when it was over but it was so enjoyable to talk and laugh together that it was well worth it.

Thought for the Day: 

If you watched the movie, The Chronicles of Narnia, or read the books it is based upon, you’ll remember the conversation about Aslan, the Lion.  “Is He safe?  No, but He is good.”  Throughout the series, it is stated that Aslan is "not a tame lion," since, despite his gentle and loving nature, he is powerful and can be dangerous.  In C.S. Lewis’ books, Aslan represents God, specifically Jesus Christ.  This idea that ‘God is not safe, but His is good’ has always sort of bothered me.  With my recent change in life, I think I understand what he meant a little bit more.

Hopefully I can explain without it becoming too confusing.   I believe that God is sovereign; that is, there is nothing that occurs that God has not allowed.  I am trying to be careful NOT to suggest that all the evil, illness, and disasters in the world occur because God wants it to happen.  Rather, because of mankind allowing sin into this world, it has negatively affected everything around us.  The world was not supposed to be like this.  But because God gives us the ability to choose to obey or disobey Him; life has consequences.  Some of those consequences are that evil, illness, and disaster are a part of our lives now.  God is powerful enough to stop it all and completely remove sin and its consequences from the world.  However, He has chosen to give us free will and our actions have consequences.  Since He has chosen to grant free will, He cannot also remove sin and evil without eradicating all of mankind along with it.  

Along with this is the idea that God is like a good sports coach. He wants the best for us.  A good coach knows that players don’t improve their game unless they have been pushed.  Practices can be brutal; but all that pain has a purpose; to make the player stronger, faster, and better.  A coach may seem cruel and mean to his players; he isn’t but a player may not understand that when he is being yelled at and required to do more push-ups or run another lap.  But actually the coach cares for the players and is doing everything to make them better.

Because God cares for me and wants the best for me; He cannot sit back and not do a bit of coaching.  Everything that happens in my life is either good for me OR could be used to my benefit in some fashion.  God blesses me with a faithful, loving wife—that is GOOD!  God allows my foot to be amputated—uh, trick  question!!!  It is bad and yet I can learn so many positive lessons from it that I cannot look on it as entirely bad—it has benefits as well.

God ordains for this to happen or allows it to happen to me.  So Aslan reminds me of loving and trusting God.  Is He good?  Definitely.  He is holy and righteous and He only wants the best for me.  Is He safe?  Goodness, NO!!!  Entrusting yourself to God can be a “dangerous” thing.  Going back to the Aslan illustration, he isn’t tame.  He’s a wild animal.  That is to say just like a wild animal thinks and reacts differently than a person does—God thinks and acts differently than people do.  But I am okay with that.  I don’t know what is going to happen in my life; but I trust God.  It may not be what I would want or desire; but I am certain that God has decided that it is either good for me or it can be put to good use in my life.  So with a little fear and trepidation as well as a whole lot of trust and faith in Him, I say to the Lord, “Bring it on!”  

Thursday (12/26/13)

Update:

Christmas Eve was busy for me preparing for the Candlelight Service & then leading it.  We now have a ramp in the sanctuary so that I can get up on the platform with assistance in my wheelchair.  We had a good turnout for the service despite the weather.  My wife said she thought it was the best Christmas Eve service we have ever had.  I was pleased being able to lead the service and preach again; although I needed some extra naps to make it through.  With the Lord’s help, assistance from my family, and my adrenaline kicking in, I made it just fine.

Karen and I had a quiet Christmas Day.  We didn’t do too much.  I should that I didn’t do too much.  My wife did my laundry and did a lot all day to care for me.  We watched a few episodes of Stargate together.  I purchased ebooks for my Kindle (bible commentaries and inspirational literature) and did a little reading.  Some of our children who didn’t have other obligations spent the afternoon with us.  I got whooped playing Scrabble.  I had some good words; but few points.  It was a nice, restful day. 

It is very relaxing to take the leg brace off for several hours each day.  Seeing my residual limb (stump) seems pretty natural to me now—although my kids said that it still isn’t “ordinary” for them.  We’ll get there eventually.    

Our family will celebrate Christmas together on Saturday evening when the entire family can gather together.  Since the drama of my life hogged Thanksgiving, we wanted our married children to have the opportunity to spend Christmas with their spouse’s family and we’d work around their schedules.

I finally figured out how to close the door to the bathroom with me inside by tying a long cord onto the doorknob. I grab it as I roll by and can pull the door to.  It provides me a little privacy.

On Thursday, my wife went back to work, so we were up at 4:30 a.m.  I had stayed up late chatting with Ruth and Cody and then read a novel in bed with my Kindle.  That’s the first time I’ve done any recreational reading since early November.  It’s nice having my daughter and son-in-law staying with us while they’re in town.  I enjoy spending time with them and I’m not alone all day.  Later today or tomorrow, we’ll spend a couple hours cleaning up the candles from the candlelight service. 

I got a get well card that called me a “Tough Cookie”.  It had a definition on the front of the card. 

Tough Cookie: 1) Someone with just the right mix of sweetness and strength.  2) One who doesn’t crumble under pressure.  3) A fighter who’s too busy kicking butt to sit down and cry, but knows it is okay to do both.  4) A person who doesn’t always ask for support, but has lots of friends who would do anything to help.

I am grateful that most of that definition truly applies to me (not certain about sweetness).  I’ll try to live up to the parts of the definition that I feel I am still lacking in.  I do recognize that it is okay to cry and I’ve been doing that regularly.  I’ve suffered a great loss and so it is natural and necessary for me to grieve at times.  Occasionally I have a short cry because I am momentarily overwhelmed with the new reality of my life; but frequently I cry about an act of kindness or generosity that someone displayed towards me.  I cry when I think of all the little children at church who are praying for me and giving me pictures that they drew.  I cry with joy when someone tells me that I encouraged them.  I cry with hope for a day when I will rise up and walk out of the house again.  I cry with trust and faith in God’s involvement in my life.  Oh, yeah!  I got the crying part down. 

Thought for the Day:

Here is a powerful quote from a book (John Maxwell’s The Difference Maker) that I am reading,

“Enlightenment writer and philosopher Voltaire likened life to a game of cards.  Players must accept the cards dealt to them.  However, once they have those cards in hand, they alone choose how they will play them.  They decide what risks and actions to take.”

Oh, I like that!  It helps me make sense of my life.  I would never ask for this hand to be dealt to me, but if I am going to play the game of life, I won’t always like the hands of cards dealt to me.  So what can I do?  I play the hand dealt to me as skillfully as I can.  I make the best of a bad hand.  I assert whatever amount of control that I can muster and then learn to roll with the punches on the things that I cannot change. 

During high school, I worked full-time during the summer as a janitor at a private high school.  At lunch time, all the janitors from the high school and the connected college would eat together and play spades.  We’d keep points and on Friday, the losers would have to buy a gallon of A&W Root Beer for us to share at lunch.  This was the beginning of my gambling addiction…just kidding!!!   I wasn’t the best card player but I learned that even if you couldn’t win the round, you could influence the outcome of the round and the game by the way you played your cards.  Learning to read the cards and knowing how to bet was as important as playing the hand itself.  Sometimes, the round didn’t progress the way I had envisioned and I had to improvise and adjust my strategy according to the current conditions.  I learned that even if I couldn’t win the hand, it was important to help my partner win it.  If he won, I won too!

As I consider my life as a game of cards, I can see a number of similarities.  I didn’t choose amputation—but it is the one of the cards that I was dealt.  As bad as that is, I also was dealt a number of good cards—strong support from family, church, and friends; a good prognosis for an active life; and robust faith and confidence in God. Etc.  Now looking at my cards, I realize that the hand life dealt me isn’t all bad and it’s not all good either.  So am I going to give up and fold—just withdraw from life and give up?  No!  I am going to play!  I’m aware that I got stuck with a bad card; but I am going to play my entire hand and try to minimize the damage.  I am always aware of my amputation and the changes it has placed on me; but I choose to refuse to let that one card control the rest of my life.  There is so much more to me than having two feet and being able to walk. 

Now that I’ve got you started, you probably can think of a lot more parallels between life and a hand of cards.  I think that one of the ways that we deal with catastrophic events is for us to somehow wrap our minds around the event.  To take the unimaginable and figure out how to have it make sense in a way we can handle.  We cannot change the event or the disaster, but we help manage the damage by evaluating the limits of what has happened and figuring out as many “go arounds” as we can.  I cannot grab an item out of reach.  I can wait and get someone to grab it for me.  I could call a neighbor and have them come over and grab it for me.  Later I can have the cabinet or refrigerator rearranged so I can grab it easily the next time.  I can get my “grabber” and extend my reach to enable me to get an item.  I can figure out if there is a substitute item that would work or if I can do without it.  I have lots of options.  I just have to look at the cards and decide how I am going to play this hand.

And what about you?  If you are human, I know that some of the cards life has dealt you are not all trump cards.  You have some stinking losers mixed into your hand.  So what are your options?  How can you skillfully play the cards you have so as to minimize the damage?  I think it helps not to focus all of your attention on the one or two bad cards when you have a number of other good cards in your hand.  Remember, you may not have chosen this hand; but it is the hand you were dealt.    You get to choose how you are going to play your cards.  So get your head in the game and play!  You haven’t lost everything unless you give up after seeing your cards.  You never exactly know how the hand will turn out until it’s been played.  Until that point, life is full of possibilities.  I choose to play the game and to win as often as I can.  I am going to fail at times.  But maybe, just maybe, I’ll break even or perhaps get a little bit a head.  I might lose it all on occasion.  But as long as I keep playing, I’ve got a chance to win.  I’ll take those odds.  What about you?

Tuesday (12/24/13)

Update: 

With Christmas being tomorrow, I will not post an update on December 25^th.  I’ll resume posting updates the day after Christmas.

My doctor’s appointment yesterday went very well.  He was very pleased with how the amputation site was healing.  He decided to remove 2/3’s of the staples and use suture tape in the gaps where the staples had been removed.  I will go back in two weeks to have the remaining staples removed and then I will start physical therapy to begin preparing my leg for the prosthesis.  The doctor said that in two weeks’ time from surgery, the wound would heal with about 50% strength.  At four weeks from surgery, it would heal at 75% strength.  The remaining 25% would take two additional months to heal.  Once again, I was warned very strongly about falling and injuring the amputation site.  I was also told that I can now reduce the amount of time that I spend in the leg brace.  I still have to sleep with it on (bummer!), but I only have to wear it 50% of the day. I’ll probably continue to wear the brace when I am out in public where there is an increased chance of being bumped into.  Yeah! I’m making progress! 

True to his word, my surgeon and I traded bad jokes back and forth and had a wonderful time laughing while he pulled my staples.  Here are two examples: 1) What do you get when you cross a lion with a watchdog?  I don’t know, but it makes the mailman VERY nervous.  2) What do you get when you cross a bridge with a car?  You get to the other side of the river.  GROAN!!!  I warned you that they were bad.

I am now allowed to take a shower!! Woot! Woot!  Our bathroom and shower area are both small so it will take some thought and effort to actually get me safely in and out. My wife and I mentally pictured how it might work; but I’ve never actually tried it before. —now it is time to try it…    My daughter, Ruth, gave me a haircut and then Karen helped me get into the shower.  What a wonderfully delicious feeling! 

For those from church, Calvin Paudler stopped in to see me Monday afternoon.  Calvin and his family attended our church until they moved to Nebraska earlier this year.  At 3 ½ years old, Calvin lost his right arm in a farming accident.  I was always amazed what Calvin could do one handed after years of practice.  It was good to catch up and to be encouraged by this man who has lived with limb loss and has never let it stop him or slow him down.

Tuesday morning, my children and I will set up for Candlelight Service.  Then I’ll go home to rest up before the 8 p.m. service.  I need God’s wisdom as prepare my devotional and His strength to get me through the service.  Pray that we have a good turnout of worshipers and the service is meaningful to them.

Thought for the Day: 

Galatians 4:4 But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law…

There are many scripture passages regarding the birth, life, death, and resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  There are numerous Old Testament prophecies concerning the Christ, His lineage, His birth, and His reign.  The Galatians passage above tells us that when the time was ripe, God sent Jesus to be born of Mary who was a Jew.  Israel followed the Old Testament law and religious practices.  Romans armies had conquered the world and enforced a peace that allowed free trade of goods and ideas across wide expanses of territory.  Israel was under martial law and the nation chafed under Roman rule.  They longed for the promised Messiah who would set them free and establish a worldwide kingdom that would last forever.  Israel would be propelled back into prominence as the world leader.  The nation would throw off the yoke of foreign oppression and be free once again.  The people were looking for some warrior prince that the nation could rally behind and lead them to oust the Romans and re-establish the famed Kingdom of David.

What the people and religious leaders didn’t understand was the parts of the prophecies that said He would be a suffering savior and would be rejected by the people.  The nation was looking for a political savior and God sent them something very different.  God understood what we often miss.  True freedom has nothing to do with whether someone is in control of our lives.  True freedom comes from having the debt of our sins paid for and our relationship with God re-established.  To accomplish this, the Savior would have to be one of us—He was born of a woman indicating He was human.  For His life to pay for the sins of everyone in the world, He would have to be sinless God—He is God’s Son sent from the Father indicating He was God.  Jesus Christ, this God-Man, arrived at just the right time to set us free from bondage.  Jesus was a religious Messiah.  He was the answer to the question that the world didn’t even know it needed answering.

So as we celebrate Christmas, let us realize that it was God that gave the first and finest gift ever given.  He gave His Son.  We celebrate the babe born in a manger because He grows into the man who dies for our sins.  That is amazing love!  So great a love deserves a great sacrifice on our behalf!

So what are you giving Jesus this Christmas?

Monday (12/23/13)

Update:  

Karen and I attended church yesterday; however I didn’t preach.  My buddy, Mel, preached and did a wonderful job.  I did the announcements, took the offering, and did the closing comments and prayer.  Then I attended the Sunday School class that I normally teach.  My friend, Art, taught that class.  He says he isn’t a teacher—but I beg to differ.  He did a fantastic job!  Just attending church and Sunday school wiped me out.  I went home and rested until some of my children came over for lunch.  Afterwards we started watching “The Hobbit” on DVD.  Part way through, I had to go to bed—church had really taken the wind out of my sails.  I got back up for a while later, but I wasn’t worth much.

About 8 p.m. my daughter from Chicago, Ruth and her husband, Cody, arrived home for Christmas.  What joy it brought to my heart to see them!!!  I am thankful they made the trip safely despite a bit of weather.  I look forward to spending some time with them this week.

This morning I was able to write about four cards and get them sent out in the mail today.  There are two women in our church who are hospitalized and whom I’ve not been able to go see.  Please pray for healing for Sandy and for Betty.  Sandy has been in the hospital 45 days now.

I’ve been working on my blog site.  It is almost ready.  I’ve been trying to get everything caught up so that you can get the logical flow of events and updates all in one spot.  This will help anyone who wasn’t kept in the loop the entire time to understand everything that transpired, at least from my point of view.   It’s not done yet, but you can already go see it and read what’s there.  Go to: stevenhurd@blogspot.com .   It will automatically take you to my most current update that I’ve entered.  Look over on the right hand side to the Blog Archive and you can scroll down and start at the beginning.

Today I go to the surgeon’s office at 1:30 p.m.  If everything looks good, he should remove my staples.  I am so excited about what may happen today.  We should find out about the next step in the process.  I hope that I will get the okay to take a shower.  I haven’t showered since November 24^th. I have washed up with a cloth, but I long for the water to wash over me like rain.  I really want to have my haircut, but I always shower afterwards to get all the little pieces of hair off so I don’t itch.  So if I get to shower, I’m getting my hair cut too!

With the holidays, my wife has a two week break from play practice. “The Knights of the Round Table” which is part of a series on King Arthur will be presented in mid-January.  So for the next two weeks, my wife will be home more in the evenings.  I look forward to the extra time I will get to spend with her.

Thought for the Day:  

My buddy, Mel, preached about “Time” yesterday.  He reminded us that God is eternal—no beginning and no end.  I believe that God is not bound by time like we are.  All times are “now” for Him.  God created time for our benefit, not His.  That is interesting to think about.  We watch our clocks, we measure days and years.  Time is very important to us and our perception of things.  The bible says that God has ordained certain times for the events of our lives.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8   There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

From this we realize that there is a time or a season for everything.  Just think about raising kids.  There is a season of diapers, of potty training, of bicycles, of cars, of High School, of College, and Empty Nest.  Nothing lasts forever.  Everything has a beginning and an end.

I think of my own life.  There was a time with my foot; now there is a time without my foot.  There is a time of wheelchair use; there will be a time of prosthetic use.  There was a time I ate anything and everything; and now I have a very limited and careful diet.  For believers there is a time on this earth; there will be a time lasting for eternity in heaven.  Now is time when despite our greatest desires we sin; in heaven we won’t have to worry about sinning and bringing sorrow to the Lord.  Now is the time for our bodies to age and decay, for sorrow and grief, for pain and suffering; but scriptures declare that there is a coming day when we enter heaven that all that will be left behind.  Oh what a glorious time that will be!

So no matter what you are currently going through (either good or bad), remember that it won’t last.  This time or season will end.  If you are going through a rough patch, remember that eventually it will end so don’t give up hope.  If you are going through a good time, remember that nothing lasts and eventually things will turn.  Don’t get discouraged and give up.  Just realize that there is a time and season for everything.

Saturday (12/21/13)

Update:  

I was blessed yesterday by a beautiful oak table that Dick Bedward made for me.  Sitting in a wheelchair, all the kitchen cabinets are too tall for me to comfortably work on.  So Dick made a table for me, just my height, making it comfortable to prepare food, etc.  Thank you, Dick.

Yesterday, I found a nut on the floor that fell off my wheelchair.  I couldn’t find where it came from.  This morning I found out that it came off of one of the wheel brakes.  It isn’t safe to do an unassisted transfer in or out of the chair without both brakes being locked.  Karen had to rush off to work and now I am waiting for a friend to come over and repair the brake.  Isn’t it interesting how just one small little piece makes all the difference?  Taking care of the tiniest details is so important.

I enjoyed learning more about my new Kindle Fire and loaded apps and books on it yesterday.  I found that it was REALLY nice reading in bed with it.  No heavy book to hold and I could change the font size so it was easy for me to read.  Last night when I woke up at 2 a.m., I read for a little while and then drifted back off to sleep contemplating what I had read. 

I am planning on being at church again tomorrow although I will not be preaching.  I will do announcements, take the offering and those kinds of things, but I didn’t feel ready to prepare for a message yet.  Mel Jensen will be preaching in my place.  I do plan to lead the 8 p.m. Christmas Eve Service and then hopefully resume preaching in January. 

I’ve made lots of strides forward in reduction of pain, and I have more strength and endurance; however I can feel that I have a long way to go before I am 100%.  Office work and all the little details that I use to handle really take it out of me yet.  I go on Monday to the surgeon’s office.  If everything looks good, he’ll begin removing the staples.  Most of my leg has healed very nicely.  I have a couple of spots that seem to be healing a little more slowly, although they show signs of improvement too.

Over the last few days, I’ve had the almost constant feeling that I still have a foot on my left leg.  I read that massaging the stump and just touching it a lot can help reduce those feelings.  I guess it helps the brain to realize the leg is really gone.  It has really helped reduce those phantom feelings that I have been experiencing.

I don’t plan on writing an Update/Thought again tomorrow on Sunday.   I’ll take a break and then get back to you on Monday (12/23).

Thought for the Day:  

Many Police Officers and Firefighters/Rescue/EMS personnel will see more pain and suffering in a year than most of us will ever witness in our lifetime.  That constant barrage of pain and suffering can have a negative effect on their view of God.  “How can a loving God allow this to happen?”  It is easy to perceive that the universe works on the basis of only random chance.  Those who suffer horrible pain often face it without seeing any hope, any value, and any reason.  That makes the suffering all the more bitter.

I started reading a book that was recommended to me, entitled, “Walking With God Through Pain and Suffering” by Timothy Keller.  I haven’t gotten too far, but I’ve enjoyed the read so far.  Keller suggests that out of all cultures, societies and even religious groups, our secular western culture has the most difficult time with the idea of pain and suffering.   We have elevated the pursuit of pleasure and happiness as the ultimate goal in life and therefore have removed any concept of how we deal with pain and suffering as a significant response.  Most other cultures and religions see pain and suffering as a normal part of life and how people deal with it is a part of their growth as human beings. 

I am not suggesting that pain and suffering is good; but if you’ve got to go through it, you might as well get whatever benefit that you can from it.  My Christian faith allows me to believe that God can use the bad and evil in my life for my benefit.  

Romans 8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.   

I can learn patience, relying upon God, I can be a good example to others on how to suffer well, etc.  It doesn’t make pain and suffering pretty and it wouldn’t be something I would pray and ask God to give me.  But if I have to go through it anyway, it helps if I can believe that there might be some benefit to it.

As a friend to someone suffering, be very careful about spouting platitudes like, “God never gives us more than we can handle” or “God is going to use this for good in your life” while they are in the middle of the storm.  The bible also says, 

Romans 12:15  Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.  

In other words, when someone is really hurting and suffering, cry with them and let them know you feel their pain.  Don’t be telling them about all the wonderful things the suffering is doing for them.  The time to speak those words may come later, but not right now.  

Friday (12/20/13)

Update:  

I had a great day yesterday.  I went to a potluck luncheon with my friends from the Altoona Police Department.  It was good to be out and around the teasing and good natured fun.  The other four times I have been out since my surgery, my batteries have gotten totally drained very quickly. Yesterday I didn’t run out of energy.  This is a good sign of increased strength!  As a bonus, the food was great too!  I appreciate being included and the extra effort it took to come get me and to bring me back home.  Everybody else got a White Elephant gift—the officers gave me a Kindle.  Wow! I deeply appreciate their generosity and support.  Now I’m trying to figure out how to make that thing work.  I’ve already had to hit the support button.  I was a little disappointed that Amy from the TV commercials didn’t help me—but the woman who did was excellent help!  My technologically astute children gave it a big thumbs up and said it was way better than an ipad. 

Yesterday, my wife and I got busy prepping for the day and after she rushed off to work, I realized that all of my clean clothes were down in the basement, far, far out of my reach.  I sat at the top of the stairs pondering what to do.  I ended up calling a friend to go down to get me clean clothes so I could get dressed for the day.  It was a little embarrassing.  But what a hoot!  You got to laugh.

I want to clarify my update from yesterday as I mused about what the future holds and not having any idea exactly what will happen.  After I sent it, I realized that my words could have been mistaken for despair and a descent into hopelessness.  I should have added a paragraph that despite all of the uncertainty, that my faith and hope are in God.  I would LIKE to know what the future holds, but I can handle just knowing the next step and being left in the dark, because I know the one who holds the future and I trust in Him.  I was attempting to give you a glimpse of the things I am dealing with mentally.

I would also encourage you to remember that the things I am going through, countless 1,000’s have already gone through.  And you probably have a friend or someone you know (or maybe even you) who is struggling in a very similar fashion right now.  The glimpse into my life should give you ideas on how to pray for them and ideas on how you can help them. 

I am in the process of establishing a blog site where I can post my updates and thoughts.  As I transition further away from the urgency of my infection and amputation, I feel that I don’t want to push my email version of updates on everyone.  By establishing a blog, those who want to continue to hear what I am thinking and how I am doing can find out without forcing everyone to get the email.  I’ve also been posting this on FaceBook.  A blog will be easier for those who are not regularly checking FaceBook because they won’t have to scroll through a lot of other material to find my updates.  I’ll let you know when I get the site up and established.

Thought for the Day:  

I woke a bit after 2 a.m. and couldn’t get back to sleep.  I lay on my bed listening to my worship music and then finally got up at 3:30 a.m.  Since then, I’ve been reading the bible and praying.  I read through the short book of Philippians and found many wonderful promises and truths.  But almost at the end of the book, I read this verse:

Philippians 4:19    And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

I thank God for reminding me of His provision.  In the Lord’s Prayer, we ask God to “give us this day our daily bread.”  That’s a prayer for His provision.  I am reminded of the fact that the prayer isn’t “give us this year everything we need.”  No, this is a daily prayer.  A constant reminder of where our hope and the true source of all blessing come from.  The Lord’s Prayer is not just about asking for food for the day, but everything that sustains and nourishes our lives: our finances, our shelter, the friends and family that we rely upon, the clothes we wear, transportation, the skills and abilities that we need, protection, security, peace of mind, a job, heat in the winter, a listening ear, a helping hand, a deeper relationship with Him and the ability to trust in Him, strength for tomorrow, and hope for a future.  You name it, whatever you need God will provide. 

His provision does not preclude faith and trust on our part.  Nor does this mean that everything that we want and wish for will be provided; but we will receive what we need.  That is sometimes a harsh reality to find out that we need a lot less than we ever imagined.  We’ve become acclimatized by the wealth and prosperity of our culture to assume that life will always be filled with plenty and that there will be no hurt or pain along the way.  In our society we’ve come to accept it as standard practice to sue someone else for damages for anything and everything that goes wrong.  We struggle to accept a less than perfectly pleasing life. 

Part of being content, is trust.  Trusting that God really will provide what you need and learning to be satisfied with that.  Christmas is only a few days away.  It gives us a wonderful opportunity to practice being content and teaching it to our children.  Christmas as it is traditionally practiced often produces greed, lust, and envy.  We didn’t get the newest and the best.  Our best friend got it—but we didn’t.  I heard of one family that tells their kids how much they would have spent on each child.  The kids then look through a World Vision catalog where they can purchase such things as chickens, pigs, etc. for a third-world family giving them a sustainable food source.  The kids choose how their money will be spent on people that REALLY need it.  And that is Christmas for these kids.  WOW! 

Your kids might go into cardiac arrest if you tried that cold turkey; but why don’t you start changing in small steps.   One year when we didn’t have much money for gifts, we made the kids coupon books.  “Good for a trip to McDonald’s alone with Dad.”  “Good for a sleep over with two friends.”  “Good for no chores for one day.”  We did note that “some restrictions apply.”  Our children begged for coupon books the following year.  Our adult children still look back on those coupon books as one of the best Christmas memories. 

I might have migrated off topic a bit; but in my mind it all hangs together logically.  The question is, “Do you trust God to supply your needs?”  If not, why not?  Talk to Him about where you are with this.  Think about these things and take some practical steps to build trust, peace, and contentment into your life and into the lives of your children.