Update:
Wow! I have come a long ways in the last couple
of weeks. I’ve only made it so far this
fast because of the helped that I have received. I am so grateful to everyone who has stepped
in to support me. I am especially
thankful for my lovely wife. She has
been my constant help and encourager.
I’m excited today because I get to go to lunch with a group of friends
that I haven’t seen since before my hospitalization. This will be my first trip out that isn’t
medical or church related. I haven’t
done much of those either. Emotionally I
am ready and I need this. I know that it
will wipe me out and I’ll need a good nap afterwards, but this is step towards
normalcy that I crave to get back to. We’ll
see if I am really physically ready for this.
Right now, everything is so very different. I am back in my own home—but I can’t get
upstairs to my old bedroom and office. I
can’t get downstairs to the fireplace and my tools. I have a wonderful living area that is
similar to the way it use to be; but it is vastly different. It is like living in an alternate reality espoused
in Sci-Fi books.
Please pray for me as my battle switches to more mental and
emotional. I made it across the first of
many physical finish lines. Now the
battle rages in my head and in my heart.
Pray for determination and confidence.
Pray for drive and a will to win.
Pray for stamina and willpower to do what has to be done. I know that there are many hours of physical
therapy ahead of me. I want to work hard
and win.
I was reading on-line that many people struggle with the reality that
what has happened to them is permanent.
Strange to say that I’ve been hit with that recently. I don’t know what I will regain and what will
remain elusive to me; but I do know that my world has changed and it will never
go back to “normal” as I once knew it.
So I have to create a new “normal.”
But right now I am at that stage where there are more questions than
answers. There is so much unknown. How long will it be until I can safely drive
my truck? Will I ever feel comfortable
and safe going up or down the stairs in my house? When will I be strong enough to get back to
work? I don’t know the answers to these
questions. Nobody does at this
point. That is disquieting to my
soul. I want answers. I want to know what I want to know--NOW. And yet it is impossible.
Thought of the Day:
I would encourage you to remember the
caregiver in your prayers. As I said
yesterday, everybody needs a support team.
Most of everyone’s attention is always on the individual who needs care
and very few notice the person on the sidelines who has enabled the individual
to achieve all that he has. But without
their support, care and attention there would be no victory.
Look at this account of the nation of Israel as they fought to take
over the Promised Land. Don’t get too
caught up in details and why raising the staff worked; just accept that it did
and then notice those who supported Joshua in his victory.
Exodus 17:9-13 Moses
said to Joshua, "Choose some of our men and go out to fight the
Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in
my hands." So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had
ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever
he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he
sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up--one on one side, one on the
other--so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.
Joshua fought the battle. In our
history books, his name would have been in big bold letters. He was the commanding officer who won a
decisive battle. But you notice that it
was Moses on the sidelines who actually controlled whether the battle would be
won. Moses was Joshua’s caregiver. But even the caregiver needed support. Aaron and Hur helped Moses as he supported
Joshua. Without the support given to the
caregiver, the outcome of the battle would have been vastly different.
Often times, it is the spouse who is the injured or ill person’s primary
caregiver. Without my wife’s support, I
would be able to accomplish very little.
But like Moses, my wife’s arms get tired at times and she needs others
to step in to support her so that she can continue her support of me.
Just a word of warning here, every person is different and you will need to
find appropriate ways to support the caregiver without burdening them. You cannot assume that because YOU would want
someone to help you in this manner; that the caregiver would like that
too. Be sensitive to each person’s
personality and tastes.
Some things are always appropriate: pray specifically for the physical,
emotional, and spiritual needs of the caregiver. Pray that they would get the rest that they
need and have times of refreshment to restore their souls. Send a card with a handwritten note
expressing you support of them. If you
mention a scripture verse—write it out.
When you are low on energy and time, you don’t look up unfamiliar verses
and the reference is just wasted otherwise.
After that, you may have to ask the individual how you could be of support
to them. Some may want meals brought in;
someone to do the shopping; someone to give them a short break from care giving;
perhaps a gift card that the caregiver could use to do something special for themselves. I have to admit that this kind of thing is a
mystery to me—like me trying to figure out what to buy my mom for Christmas
each year—but I am a guy and I don’t have that kind of radar equipment
installed.
I see the need to care for the caregiver with every ill or injured person I
know. Not to belittle the individual who
needs care or their situation; but I have always believed that no one
understands how hard it is for the caregiver while their loved one is in the
hospital. Being in the hospital at
someone’s bedside is extremely hard work and very wearing. For those discharged with a prolonged illness
or injury, the care giving continues 24/7/365 ¼. They say that Walgreen’s never closes;
similarly the care giving never ceases.
The crisis that landed them in the hospital may be over; but the battle
may rage for years in the apparent quietness of the home.
The caregiver needs a support team of their own to enable them to continue sustain
their loved one. Lift them up and be a
support to the caregiver.
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