Update:
Yesterday afternoon (Thursday) I went to my office to work. It felt good and natural to be back and
working there. It was a bit frustrating
finding things out of reach or impossible to get to—but the overall feeling was
great. After about five hours I was
toast and needed to get home for some serious down time; but while I was there
I was productive. It is a major production to get to the office and to get back
home. Someone has to take me and then I
need someone to bring me home. With that
in mind along with the energy it takes, I think that for right now I will try
to work at my office once or twice each week and do the remaining work at
home.
Yesterday someone told me that their doctor said that for every hour
you are out under general anesthesia that it takes one month to recover. If that is true I still have another two
months to go. It also explains why I don’t
have the energy that I use to have.
Hearing that actually encourages me because it helps normalize what I am
feeling and experiencing.
As my buddy Mel says, “It is what it is.” And it is hard. And it is frustrating. And it is a bummer. And I want it to be different. But it is not. So I will rejoice at each hard gained
victory. I will be happy for each
positive step forward. I will be
satisfied with where I am currently at.
I will be content with my current limitations. For I am alive. For I have a future. For there is reason to hope, to rejoice, to laugh,
and to enjoy. My life isn’t perfect; but
I CHOOSE to be perfectly content. I’m
not looking back with longing. I’m not
looking forward with frustration. I am
where I am and that is where I need to focus my attention.
I’ve had some interesting dreams the last two nights. Both dreams were very different; but in both
I am walking all around broken terrain.
Then I stop to talk to someone and I look down and see that my leg is
amputated. I don’t have a prosthesis but
somehow I was walking normally all over the place with just a stump. WHAT DOES IT MEAN??? It
means I should probably lay off those spicy bedtime snacks! J
This afternoon I am going to Tyler and Hannah’s wedding rehearsal. I am almost finished writing their wedding ceremony. Tonight we get to see how it flows and where
people will stand, etc. My daughter Kate
is picking me up and taking me there tonight.
I’m looking forward to conducting the wedding and glad that I am able to
do it at my current level of recovery.
My son, Josh, and I got the video done for the Good News Jail gathering
tonight (Friday). We were able to get it
to Chaplain Brian Jahn last night (Thursday) so we all slept better with one
less thing to worry about. It is a 13:30
minute version of my story. With a
little tweaking, I’ll post a copy on FaceBook and my Blog site
(stevenhurd.blogspot.com). Joshua did
an excellent job recording and editing it—he makes me look good!
Thought for the Day:
One friend of mine recently commented that I was fortunate to have such
a large pool of support to draw upon when I had a need. My friend felt that most people in need don’t
have the resources that I do. As I
thought about it, I think my friend is right.
I have been very active in my church creating a vast network of current
and former attendees. I have had a
chance to serve many of them in some fashion in the past eighteen years. I am also actively involved in a number of
organizations whose members have offered their support. Both my wife and I are fairly well known in
the area, so I have offers of assistance all of the time. Four of my five adult children live within 10
miles and my wife is a very capable support to me.
But I think that many people, especially those who are more reserved in
personality, or who have been cut off from outside activities due to
limitations, have relatively few offers of assistance. Many have very limited family support. They may only have one or two people that
they can call and may feel that they abuse them by calling for assistance so
frequently.
My heart goes out to those who need help but have very few people to
call upon. The picture that I have in my
mind is someone ringing for help in the nursing home; but there aren’t enough
staff to answer all the calls simultaneously and so a number of people have to LONG
wait for assistance. It might be too
late when help finally arrives and it is an embarrassing mess to clean up.
I am reminded of my mother’s situation a number of years ago. My father had already died. Mom had COPD and arthritis. Over time she became more limited in her
ability to care for herself. I lived 15
hours away and my brother lived about three hours’ drive away. So we weren’t able to help her on a daily
basis. She had one close friend that she
felt comfortable calling upon for assistance.
My brother went down every weekend and spent all Saturday doing errands
and helping mom however he could. But it
wasn’t enough; she struggled to remain independent and in the end we had to
move her near me so that I could give her more daily assistance. We hated uprooting her from her home, from
her friends, and everything familiar in southern Missouri to move to central Wisconsin
where all she knew was me. I think that
she probably did have more people that she could have called upon for help; but
she wasn’t comfortable making the call.
So she sat in need.
From my limited experience, I will say that it can be uncomfortable
calling someone for help. There is the
issue of pride on my account as well as my concern about making someone feel
guilty if they don’t want to help or are unable to help.
1 Peter 5:5b “All of
you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes
the proud but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.’”
As far as the issue of pride, I know that God hates pride and opposes
those who are proud so I think I better get over it! I will try to do anything that I am able to
do for myself; but when there is something that I cannot do, there is no shame
in needing assistance. What is harder is
to ask for help on things that I can do, but that are wiser to let someone else
do. For instance, I can wheel myself up
and down the hallway at church. But it
is carpeted and about the third trip back and forth on Sunday morning—I am out
of energy. It’s better for me to save my
energy to preach, teach, or pray for someone.
So I’ve been asking people to push me down the hall. Eventually I’ll be strong enough for it not
to drain me; but for right now, I am asking for help. But oh my, we have a problem asking for help.
I have come to the conclusion that I cannot worry about whether someone
will feel pressured or abused by me asking for their assistance. I try to ask in such a way that people have
the ability to say “No” if they desire; but it isn’t my responsibility to judge
whether it is too much to ask. I want to
be sensitive to them; but I am going to ask.
If they say no, then I will look elsewhere for help. As much as I am able I will spread the work
load around; but certain people have a greater desire to serve and help than I
suppose. So by me not asking, I am
limiting what they wish they could do for me. I
also try to express my thankfulness for every kindness done towards me. I don’t want people to think that I am imposing
on them and that I am not grateful for their service.
When I was expressing discomfort in asking for help, one of my friends told me this, “Steve, for years you have helped other people, now it is time to allow them to help you.” I would encourage you while you are strong and able to be a helper and serve other people. Look around for those who may need some assistance. Look for people that everyone else seems to overlook. Take the first step and ask them if you could help them. Find a need and meet a need. If they have needs greater than you have the ability to meet, then recruit more help for them. You never know what a difference you will make in their life.
Check out Matthew 25:31-45 to see God’s view of
helping others in need. Here is Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell
you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of
mine, you did for me.'”
Here are a couple of photos of folks from several churches as well as family and friends helping Mel Jensen who lost the use of both legs this summer:
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