Update:
Yesterday afternoon at the office, I recorded a set of Good News Verses
for WHEM radio, made a couple of long phone calls and made some limited progress
on Sunday’s message. I proofread the
bulletin for Deb, my administrative assistant, and then did some reading. I had to use the restroom and apparently some
kid locked the stall and slide under the door the night before at AWANA. Fortunately there were a couple of guys at
the church at the right time and they opened the door for me.
At home, Karen made dinner while I did my exercises. We ate. She swept the floors and then we sat
and watched some Stargate SG-1 together before bed.
I am staying at home today and have to make major progress on my sermon
and Sunday School preparation. I woke up
sleepy today so I am going back to bed as soon as I post this update this
morning.
Tonight the Men’s Retreat for my church begins. The guys want me to come out for at least part
of the day on Saturday. I hate to miss
it—it would be the first year that I have—but right now I’m not certain that I
am up to it. It sounds sort of like a lame
excuse. “But it’s only a few hours.” It is hard to describe the mixture of times
of energy and times when I lack energy that I am experiencing at this phase of
my recovery. There is a constant
struggle going on within me. “I’ll be
disappointed that I didn’t go when it is over; I’ll be wiped out and struggle
through Sunday if I go.” Part of my
problem is that I desire to do it and at the same time think that it is best
that I don’t go. Then there is
disappointing the guys who want me to come.
It is frustrating to want to do something that sounds so simple and yet
I am overwhelmed by the prospect of doing it.
A month from now, it probably would be no problem for me to attend. I am reminded of my youth when I had just
started to dog paddle at the pool. I
wanted to go jump off the boards on the deep end of the pool. My friends were doing it; but I wasn’t entirely
confident that I could swim to the edge of the pool. “Can you swim, kid?” “Yeah! Well sort of…maybe.” I did it and lived to tell about it; but it
wasn’t the bright thing for me to do. I
suppose that I am still struggling between my desire and my ability.
I share this struggle because it is hidden and you might not think
about it and realize that many people might have similar struggles for
different reasons. It is impossible for
us to understand the pressures that another person might be going through. Maybe for them their ailing mother has
drained them of every ounce of extra energy that they have. Or perhaps the kids have been sick all week
and that means that you are way behind on your sleep. It might be that they have been wrestling
with an important decision for some time and that has sucked them dry. We don’t know. We may never understand. What we could personally stand up to doesn’t
mean that they can stand up to it. It
may not be a big deal to us; but it may be overwhelming to them. Be considerate and understanding. Pray for those who are silently struggling.
Thought for the Day:
“When we have no meaning beyond personal happiness, suffering can lead
very quickly to suicide.” [Timothy Keller, “Walking With God Through Pain and
Suffering”]. Many in our society have
made the meaning of life the pursuit of happiness. When that is no longer seen as obtainable
because of suffering, the natural response is a desire to check out of life
altogether. “I have nothing left to live
for.”
Americans tend to naively assume that money and influence can buy the
medical expertise to eradicate all our illnesses, the effects of our aging, and
our suffering. We hope to remove all
evil and in effect legislate happiness.
Oh if only we could do that!
J.R.R. Tolkien in “The Fellowship of the Ring” said, “Always after a
defeat and respite, [evil] takes another shape and grows again.”
Unlike our modern society’s distance from suffering, historically the
Christian faith has suffering at its very heart of the story. “Suffering is the result of our turn away
from God, and therefore it was the way through which God Himself in Jesus
Christ came and rescued us for Himself” [Timothy Keller, “Walking With God …”]. Christ’s life, death and resurrection validate
suffering as a potentially worthwhile phase of our existence if we are to
become Christ-like.
In our culture it is important to avoid pain at all costs since the
value or worth of our lives is determined by how much pleasure we derive from
life. In the Christian faith we see that
“suffering can be redemptive, a way to serve others, and a way of glorifying
God.” [Timothy Keller, “Walking With God …”].
It helps hone us and shape us. It
can polish off our rough edges and allows us to learn lessons that we would
never otherwise have learned.
This idea of redemptive suffering does not justify suffering and make
it a truly positive thing, nor does it answer the question of why God allows
evil and suffering to exist in our world. Yet the witness of the bible is that
we grow and develop as people and as faithful followers of God often through
suffering and difficulties. Without pain
we tend to become complacent and satisfied; we forget about God and we neglect
our relationship with Him. How many
times in my life have I seen my prayer life intensive when I am in trouble but
slack off when things are going well?
I believe that most of us know only discomfort and disappointment without
experiencing too much real pain. We
think that we have it bad until we hear of someone facing something much
worse. For example, can you imagine a
greater pain than midway through your pregnancy to find out that your child
will be stillborn? Facing the grief of a
child born that will never enjoy life; having the loss of your dreams of seeing
this child grow and blossom into adulthood is extremely harsh to endure. The days leading up to and following the
birth would be dark and seemingly devoid of purpose as our emotions are crushed
by the reality of our loss. Anguish.
Despair. Bitterness. Anger. Jealousy. Profound sorrow. These are all normal
reactions; but God provides something far different, peace, comfort and the
reality of His presence. As we cry out
to God in our grief and in our need, a more intimate relationship grows and
develops as we draw closer to Him. As He
travels the dark, lonely paths with us, our trust in Him grows. We learn to rely upon Him and find that He is
faithful. Each experience we encounter
gives us fresh opportunity to get to know Him better. From this perspective, suffering is our
friend.
In his daily email devotional, Os
Hillman said this about the difficulties we face, “How often we
are so busy looking for deliverance from our circumstance that we miss God
completely. God is looking to do miracles in our circumstances if we will only
look for them… Our adverse situations
can often be the door of spiritual opportunity for those who need it… In the next adversity you face, tune your
spiritual antennae and ask God for discernment to see the real purpose for the
adversity”. [Seeing A
Greater Purpose In Adversity, TGIF--Today God Is First Volume 1, Jan 24, 2014].
Hillman was talking about God-given opportunities that we are given to
witness and share God’s love with others because of the situations that our
difficulties put us in. Our painful circumstances
will often place us in contact with people we don’t often speak with. As they observe how we deal with our situation
through faith with peace and trust, we are given a rare opportunity of being
able to speak when they are curious to hear about the hope within us.
I recall a dear Christian lady who has since gone to be with the
Lord. She had a solid, unshakeable faith
that was an essential component to who she was.
Janet was probably in her late 80’s and made you feel like she was your
grandma. Whenever she was hospitalized,
she boldly shared her faith with the nurses, the doctors and anyone who came
into her room. Her thought was, “What
are they going to say to an old lady like me, ‘shut up’?” She took advantage of every situation that
God placed her in to tell of her love for the Savior, His love for her, and His
love for the rest of the world.
Hillman makes a bold statement that challenges us to change the way we
pray during difficult times. Instead of “God
rescue me!” why not pray “God use me!” or “God draw me closer to You!” There is nothing wrong with wanting to be
free of a painful circumstance; but when we are already there, why not put it
to good use?
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