Thursday, October 23, 2014

Thursday (10/23/2014)

Update:

I spent the morning at my prosthetist’s office having my leg adjusted.  I was having several problems that needed to be addressed.  Pain under the knee cap, pain on the bottom edge of the tibia (shin bone), pain at the bone head of the fibula, along with my prosthesis getting stuck on my leg. Yesterday, I had taken several doses of Ibuprofen just to make it through the day because my leg hurt so much.

My prosthetist said it is about time to have a new socket made (the part that your residual limb slips into) however because I still need to lose additional weight, we need to hold off.  Weight loss makes a dramatic difference in the fit of the prosthesis.  So it is important for me to be nearer my goal weight so the next prosthesis lasts a good 3-4 years.  So right now we have to work harder at getting a good fit to extend the life of my current leg.  Sort of like trying to keep your old car running after it is really time to trade it in. 

One of the things I am getting better at is describing exactly where a pain or discomfort is located.  Sometimes it is hard to know exactly what is going on; but eventually through trial and error we get it.  Just having experience wearing a prosthesis helps me to know the difference between good pressure (provides good support) and bad pressure (leads to wounds and complications).  Sometimes it is a fine distinction between those two options.

I already have an appointment for next Thursday to see how I settled into the new support pads added to my foam liner.  We may need to add more (or take some out); but multiple small changes are better than one large change.  Right now everything feels pretty good.  I still have some pain under the kneecap but that might be residual pain or it is something that I will get used to over time.

Once we got my issues resolved, it was time to teach me how to take my foot shell off of my prosthetic foot.  It takes an extra-long and extra-strong shoe horn to pop the ends of the “heel” out from under the “tab” on the inside of the foot shell.  I did it once pretty easily (I got lucky once).  Unfortunately it is not an easy skill to develop and is hard to repeat with my brand of foot and foot shell.  The foot is made of carbon fibers and is designed to flex in a number of ways and the foot shell is tightly secured to the foot for stability making removing it more tricky.  The foot shell has to be removed if my foot gets wet so I can dry everything out.  I also was taught how to don the waterproof sleeve to seal the top of the prosthesis from getting water inside of it.  Think of getting a giant, thick rubber band around your leg.  With the new equipment and instruction, I am now prepared to do baptisms by immersion (one of the things I do as a pastor).  Learning how to take the foot shell off and on will also be helpful to occasionally clean debris that gathers in it (think about grass clippings that get in your shoe after mowing the lawn.  I get that “inside” my foot shell. 

I figure that it will take me about 20 minutes to get ready to get in the water and at least 45 minutes to tear my leg apart and get everything dried off after I am out of the water.  Nothing is as simple or easy as when I had the “original manufacturer installed parts.”  But I am thankful for the “aftermarket parts” that I have and how well they function.

Thought for the Day: 

The death of a loved one, divorce, personal injury or illness, job loss, and financial reversals, etc. cause stress.  “Studies show that these can lead to depression, anxiety disorders, and physical illness, particularly heart disease.  Nevertheless Psychologist Jonathan Haidt maintains that there is empirical support for the ancient view that ‘people need adversity, setbacks, and perhaps even trauma to reach the highest levels of strength, fulfillment, and personal development…’”

“Haidt points out three benefits of suffering…often appear in others’ lives as well.  First, people who endure and get through suffering become more resilient…  Second, it strengthens relationships, usually bonding the sufferer permanently into a set of deeper friendships or family ties that serve to nurture and strengthen for years.  But the third benefit is perhaps the most significant—suffering ‘changes priorities and philosophies.’…  And so troubles and trials tend to force up out of certain life agendas and into others.”

“Trauma…shatters belief systems and robs people of their sense of meaning.  In doing so, it forces people to put the pieces back together, and often they do so by [turning to] God or some other higher principle as a unifying principle.” [Timothy Keller, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering].

None of us like pain and suffering.  No one goes looking for stress and trauma.  It is not something that we would longingly choose; but there is truth that these things can make us stronger, better people like nothing else can.  Although I still have plenty of room for continued improvement, I can testify that I am a better man having gone through everything that I have in the last few years. 

There is a saying that trials will either make us better or bitter.  I think it would be sad to knuckle under the pressure and come out worse after going through hard times.  If I’ve got to suffer, I want it to have purpose.  I want it to have some positive, redeeming quality.  I recognize that many times I will never know what my suffering will accomplish; but I’ve got to believe that God knows what it will accomplish and that with His help, I’ll make it through somehow. 

So by trusting God, I haven’t necessarily made sense out of pain and suffering but now it holds promise and has some redeeming qualities.  No matter what I face, I will choose to rely upon God as my sustainer and enabler.  I most likely won’t like what happens; but I know that the things that happen aren’t necessarily the ultimate, important things of life. 

Would I rather have a happy, easy life or would I prefer a life of meaning and purpose where I develop into a better person for all to see?  Honestly, I’d rather have both.  But if I cannot have it both ways, I would rather live a life of meaning and purpose.  So I have to face the pain and trauma that I will encounter with an understanding that there is something greater and more important in life than my personal comfort and happiness.

I want to be a difference maker.  Maybe I’ve muddled the middle of my life; but from this point forward, I want to end well.  That’s all I can hope for.  And along the way, I know that I will have many days of joy and happiness come my way as well.  But those things cannot be my highest priorities if I hope to accomplish something with my life.

Each of us face pain and trauma in our lives.  The question is what will allow all that stuff to accomplish in our lives.  As people look back on your life someday, what kind of person do you want to be remember as?


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