Update:
I spent the morning at my prosthetist’s office having my leg adjusted. I was having several problems that needed to
be addressed. Pain under the knee cap,
pain on the bottom edge of the tibia (shin bone), pain at the bone head of the fibula,
along with my prosthesis getting stuck on my leg. Yesterday, I had taken
several doses of Ibuprofen just to make it through the day because my leg hurt
so much.
My prosthetist said it is about time to have a new socket made (the
part that your residual limb slips into) however because I still need to lose
additional weight, we need to hold off.
Weight loss makes a dramatic difference in the fit of the
prosthesis. So it is important for me to
be nearer my goal weight so the next prosthesis lasts a good 3-4 years. So right now we have to work harder at
getting a good fit to extend the life of my current leg. Sort of like trying to keep your old car
running after it is really time to trade it in.
One of the things I am getting better at is describing exactly where a
pain or discomfort is located. Sometimes
it is hard to know exactly what is going on; but eventually through trial and
error we get it. Just having experience
wearing a prosthesis helps me to know the difference between good pressure (provides
good support) and bad pressure (leads to wounds and complications). Sometimes it is a fine distinction between
those two options.
I already have an appointment for next Thursday to see how I settled
into the new support pads added to my foam liner. We may need to add more (or take some out);
but multiple small changes are better than one large change. Right now everything feels pretty good. I still have some pain under the kneecap but
that might be residual pain or it is something that I will get used to over
time.
Once we got my issues resolved, it was time to teach me how to take my
foot shell off of my prosthetic foot. It
takes an extra-long and extra-strong shoe horn to pop the ends of the “heel”
out from under the “tab” on the inside of the foot shell. I did it once pretty easily (I got lucky
once). Unfortunately it is not an easy
skill to develop and is hard to repeat with my brand of foot and foot shell. The foot is made of carbon fibers and is
designed to flex in a number of ways and the foot shell is tightly secured to
the foot for stability making removing it more tricky. The foot shell has to be removed if my foot
gets wet so I can dry everything out. I
also was taught how to don the waterproof sleeve to seal the top of the
prosthesis from getting water inside of it.
Think of getting a giant, thick rubber band around your leg. With the new equipment and instruction, I am
now prepared to do baptisms by immersion (one of the things I do as a
pastor). Learning how to take the foot
shell off and on will also be helpful to occasionally clean debris that gathers
in it (think about grass clippings that get in your shoe after mowing the
lawn. I get that “inside” my foot shell.
I figure that it will take me about 20 minutes to get ready to get in
the water and at least 45 minutes to tear my leg apart and get everything dried
off after I am out of the water. Nothing
is as simple or easy as when I had the “original manufacturer installed parts.” But I am thankful for the “aftermarket parts”
that I have and how well they function.
Thought for the Day:
The death of a loved one, divorce, personal injury or illness, job
loss, and financial reversals, etc. cause stress. “Studies show that these can lead to
depression, anxiety disorders, and physical illness, particularly heart disease. Nevertheless Psychologist Jonathan Haidt
maintains that there is empirical support for the ancient view that ‘people
need adversity, setbacks, and perhaps even trauma to reach the highest levels
of strength, fulfillment, and personal development…’”
“Haidt points out three benefits of suffering…often appear in others’
lives as well. First, people who endure
and get through suffering become more resilient… Second, it strengthens relationships, usually
bonding the sufferer permanently into a set of deeper friendships or family
ties that serve to nurture and strengthen for years. But the third benefit is perhaps the most
significant—suffering ‘changes priorities and philosophies.’… And so troubles and trials tend to force up
out of certain life agendas and into others.”
“Trauma…shatters belief systems and robs people of their sense of
meaning. In doing so, it forces people
to put the pieces back together, and often they do so by [turning to] God or
some other higher principle as a unifying principle.” [Timothy Keller, Walking
with God through Pain and Suffering].
None of us like pain and suffering.
No one goes looking for stress and trauma. It is not something that we would longingly
choose; but there is truth that these things can make us stronger, better
people like nothing else can. Although I
still have plenty of room for continued improvement, I can testify that I am a
better man having gone through everything that I have in the last few
years.
There is a saying that trials will either make us better or
bitter. I think it would be sad to
knuckle under the pressure and come out worse after going through hard times. If I’ve got to suffer, I want it to have
purpose. I want it to have some positive,
redeeming quality. I recognize that many
times I will never know what my suffering will accomplish; but I’ve got to
believe that God knows what it will accomplish and that with His help, I’ll
make it through somehow.
So by trusting God, I haven’t necessarily made sense out of pain and
suffering but now it holds promise and has some redeeming qualities. No matter what I face, I will choose to rely
upon God as my sustainer and enabler. I
most likely won’t like what happens; but I know that the things that happen
aren’t necessarily the ultimate, important things of life.
Would I rather have a happy, easy life or would I prefer a life of
meaning and purpose where I develop into a better person for all to see? Honestly, I’d rather have both. But if I cannot have it both ways, I would
rather live a life of meaning and purpose.
So I have to face the pain and trauma that I will encounter with an understanding
that there is something greater and more important in life than my personal
comfort and happiness.
I want to be a difference maker.
Maybe I’ve muddled the middle of my life; but from this point forward, I
want to end well. That’s all I can hope
for. And along the way, I know that I
will have many days of joy and happiness come my way as well. But those things cannot be my highest
priorities if I hope to accomplish something with my life.
Each of us face pain and trauma in our lives. The question is what will allow all that
stuff to accomplish in our lives. As
people look back on your life someday, what kind of person do you want to be
remember as?
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